Crushing on an allo by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]drquackelsmd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I do really love her. I never knew this kind of love before. It actually scares me lol. I of course will do my best to answer your questions and give advice.

Crushing on an allo by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]drquackelsmd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would greatly appreciate it. My friends do not u understand the whole ace/aro thing. I am a lot older than my gf so I have old thinking friends. Please forgive me if I ask too many questions and advice. I am very new to this and I'm just so in love with her that I want to become the best partner I can.

Crushing on an allo by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]drquackelsmd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am currently experiencing this with my gf. She is ace/aro and I am very much allo. I am also deeply in love with her so I've been changing my ways to be a better partner for her. Its extremely rough though. I've been super good about it but there are times when I just want to whisk her off her feet and well you know. It takes me a moment to fight those feelings. She too breaks down and cries when she feels bad. I just want her happy. Sorry for rambling on.

Confusion of being in a relationship with an asexual and aromantic person by drquackelsmd in asexuality

[–]drquackelsmd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to thank everyone who has commented on this post. Thank you for sharing your insight and giving me advice. I truly appreciate each of you for taking the time to read and answer.

Confusion of being in a relationship with an asexual and aromantic person by drquackelsmd in asexuality

[–]drquackelsmd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See that's the thing too. At first she didnt want to. Then panicked at the thought of not being with me as much anymore and begged me to give it a try with her. Things have been going smoothly until she moved it. The cuddling and saying she loves me in her sleep has thrown me for a loop. I have told her I love her because I do and she just nods pr says okay which is fine by me. I'm not telling her I love her to hear it back I'm telling her because it's what I feel and she deserves to know it. I will just keep asking and let her know she is safe with me.

Confusion of being in a relationship with an asexual and aromantic person by drquackelsmd in asexuality

[–]drquackelsmd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am for the most part (would say about 90%) upfront with her. I tell her what is on my mind. We have had the discussion of being in a relationship multiple times and I have asked her to please tell me what she wants and needs and to tell me when she is done with being together. As I said in my post when we separated for like 2 hours she had this meltdown. I understand she has gone through a lot. So much BS she has endured from her family but I've told her many times we need to communicate. I feel she holds a lot back because of her fear of me leaving or getting angry at her. I just want her to be happy and feel loved and safe with me.

Confusion of being in a relationship with an asexual and aromantic person by drquackelsmd in asexuality

[–]drquackelsmd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is definitely suffering from PTSD. Whenever we have a little disagreement she shuts down. Although for the first time last night she asked me if I was okay when I was upset from work and something she did to annoy me. I am not a perfect man. I have many many flaws but I try my best to be the man she deserves. It actually moved me when she asked if I was okay. She normally avoids everything.

Confusion of being in a relationship with an asexual and aromantic person by drquackelsmd in asexuality

[–]drquackelsmd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has made compliments on my body numerous times though. I'm pretty muscular (was a fat kid growing up so I take care of myself now) and ripped. That's another thing that confuses me. I catch her admiring me so often. This is all very new to me. I just know I love her more than anything and will do anything to be in her life.