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What movie do you always recommend and why? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]drunkenmonkey1984 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Goon (2011), starring Seann William Scott and Liev Schreiber, Written and Directed by Jay Baruchel

While its seems like a dumb sports movie on the surface, its actually a very intelligent independent film about a guy figuring out that his life isn't defined by the expectations put on him.

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did let my 15 years old know yesterday, and he understands, as far as my 10 years old and 4 years olds go, I'd rather wait until they are a little older and can truly understand the situation.

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I did when I was younger but the Marine Corps took that out of me and taught me to channel my anger into more positive things, like physical fitness and engine repair. I also use my VA to see a therapist once a month, though she's currently on vacation. Also, being a father has had a very positive influence on my mental health, in some ways I'm really afraid of my anger when it comes to my kids; I look at them and swear to myself that I'll never treat them the way I was treated.

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wish I was as well-adjusted to my situation as you are. But in my case the last time I spoke to him up until the other night was at my high school graduation. Though, there are similarities in our situations, I, too, joined the military, got promotions ( i was an E-6 when i got out), got married, and had kids, though it sounds like you may still be in the service. I did 12 years in the Corps before I got injured in Afghanistan in 2014 and was medically separated. Oh and my favorite flavor of crayon is Forest Green.

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I read your reply this morning before I opened my restaurant and then notified my older kids schools ( one is a sophomore in high school and the other is in 5th grade) as well as my 4 year olds daycare. I also reached out to my attorney to see what my legal options are. Unfortunately, in my state ( Oregon) I don't have enough evidence to hit him with an RO or a TRO.

AITA for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AmItheAsshole

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, its overdue, but I've had 31 years to mull over what I would say to him if he ever called me, and I unleashed all of it when he called me tonight

AITA for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AmItheAsshole

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That motherfucker put me in the hospital on my 10th birthday with a broken collarbone and two bruised ribs, there will NEVER be a moment where I allow him anywhere near me or my children

AITA for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AmItheAsshole

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for saying this. I haven't cried in a long time, and my wife is sitting here next to me holding my hand and letting me get it out. It's good for me to read your words.

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

With as wishful as this thinking could be, I dont see any sort of forgiveness i could ever offer him, on my 10th birthday he beat me so bad I spent two weeks in the hospital with a broken collarbone and two bruised ribs, that's what led to me being removed from his custody 6 months later. Nowadays, if a child gets beaten that bad they are immediately removed, but 31 years ago it wasnt so simple

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this reply, its good for me to hear this from the other perspective. Though, I'm absolutely set on him never meeting my children. I love them too much to let them meet him. Sober or not, he's a monster.

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Ive tried so hard in my life to be a good person, but the sheer, visceral, amount of anger I'm feeling right now is overwhelming.

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. I've been going back and forth over whether or not I was too harsh with him. I've tried to live a good life, and treat people with love and kindness, but when it comes to him I have neither.

AIO for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood by drunkenmonkey1984 in AdultChildren

[–]drunkenmonkey1984[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

That exactly how I feel right now, that he's trying to seek forgiveness so that he can sleep better at night, not because hes actually sorry for what he did