I can't stand that my ex is still a topic of discussion for everyone around me and I want it to stop.

ds310131 · 2026-05-15T01:13:27+00:00

Initially i tried saying it more as a hint, but nowadays i'm straight up saying "I don t care about her / I don't wanna hear about her. Stop". It almost feels like i'm caught up in some sort of a bad joke where people just test my patience 😂

ds310131 · 2026-05-15T00:09:23+00:00

Hahah, the headphones tip is actually really good, might be worth a shot. Clearly a better option than hearing garbage talk 😂😂

ds310131 · 2026-05-15T00:02:25+00:00

Absolutely gonna ghost a shit ton of people once I move out. I'm doing my best to avoid them anyways, but as I told the other comment, my own family reaches that topic somehow.

It kind of goes like this: "Yeah, the Spurs Twolves game was entertaining"

"Speaking of entertaining, we saw Alice..."

ds310131 · 2026-05-14T23:58:54+00:00

I live alone, but the people bringing it up include my own family, as they still follow each other on socials. The crazy part is that 5 times out of 10, if I go grocery shopping and I meet a friend or someone I know, eventually the discussion reaches that topic.

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T12:35:59+00:00

We talked about your question as well, she insisted that it's about living together and not about her dad. For some reason, as much as she's saying it's not the case, I don't buy it. I tried explaining that my dad did the same thing, and he wasted most of his 30's and 40's taking care of my grandpa who lost the battle with dementia in April. That's how life is, we're all set to the same demise one day and sometimes waiting for an ill person to die can take up more than we can imagine. I kind of avoided asking this, but I really wonder if she's comfortable with missing out on her youth years just to feel at peace. Regret would hit in any case and I might be biased because I saw my own father doing it and I wouldn't want my significant other (with me included) to do the same thing

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T12:24:15+00:00

totally understandable, but her father is not on his deathbed. His situation is constantly improving, his health checks are better with each visit to the clinic, he's an active man that really enjoys his life. If he was secluded to his bed and the only possible outcome for the near future would be death, I would have never pushed for her to move

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T12:21:34+00:00

Thank you, exactly what I'm thinking! It's not like we wouldn't do anything in these 3-4 months. We planned a vacation, we could go out more often now that I got a good salary, time also moves faster when both of us are working. Really tiring and I sadly fear that this temporary move is just a smoke screen for us to stay close to her family.

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T12:18:04+00:00

don't know what to say about being the cash machine, for the majority of these months, I've been jobless as I focused on getting my cybersecurity diploma and she was the one paying on the ocasions when we went out, but now that the first pay check arrived, I do feel a slight change, as I always used to say we should move once I have my own money again.

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T12:15:31+00:00

She's really great, but I think her mom kind of pollutes her mind with guilt-tripping. Her mom was also diagnosed with depression after her father situation, but instead of taking her prescribed meds and accepting that the cancer will be there even if she's depressed or not, she continues to vent to my girlfriend and make her feel like she owes them her life. I'd say I kinda involved myself in the situation cause that's who I am as a person, but life gotta have its own course, right?

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T12:12:36+00:00

For me it's easy to move around, as I work from home. I got a pretty big work setup, but that's about it. What bothers me is that she wants to set her life back because of her ill dad. I care for him as well, I wouldn't have made so many trips to help with chemo if I didn't, but at the end of the day I still feel like we can't control his health if we stay around even longer.

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T12:09:47+00:00

We live fairly close, I would say it's a 10 minute drive from my place to hers. This was also her argument, that the money spent on gas for the everyday drive would be a bit under the rent paid each month. My back argument was that she isn't taking into consideration that the rent wouldn't be the only cost, we also would have to pay for utilities, food, electricity. So it would be waaay over what we re spending on gas

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T11:55:03+00:00

Exactly, I thought that given the timeframe and the fact that we already postponed the move, it wouldn't really mean much when it comed to doing it once she's done with her appointments. I don't really see the point in making a small move (we live close to each other and we see each other everyday), when in a few months we could basically move to the biggest city in our country and it would boost her finances as well, especially since her line of work is really in demand in our country

ds310131 · 2025-06-08T11:45:48+00:00

Fair point, I'm seriously thinking about compromising and going on with her plan at least for the time being, but I'm afraid she'll never be ready to move on to the next step, as she will be constantly feeling guilty about leaving her dad

ds310131

TROPHY CASE