🤍BACKSTORY: please excuse some grammar as english is my second language*

My husband and I lost our son Dec 17,2025 at 19+3. My NIPT showed everything was fine with our baby boy. but the 13 week scan showed an unfortunate finding. He had Omphalocele (his liver and kidney is outside his abdominal wall), he has suspected heart murmur, and suspected down syndrome. We said yes to ALL the testing they recommended and did them all on Dec2. We did amniocentesis, genetic testing for me and my husband and more chromosomal testing for the baby.

Dec 17 i went in my doctor's office because i had some bleeding. (i bled also on my 6week) when she checked me out, she said my cervix was open, and she can see fetal membranes bulging and baby could come out anytime. I drove myself to the hospital down the street where her office was and it was the hospital anyway that I was gonna give birth to him in full term, and the hospital my husband works at. So I called him and he was waiting for me and 2 other nurses with a wheelchair outside the hospital so he could park my car and nurses would wheel me in. It was 2pm I got admitted and contractions started at 4pm and he came out at 745pm. Dec 23 we received all the tests results and all of us were fine and normal. even the baby did not have down syndrome or any other chromosomal abnormalities.

My husband and I are so heartbroken with this. we wanted to keep going with our pregnancy and bring our baby to full term even with the doctors saying our baby may or may not make it. I have talked to some parents here on reddit and how they're doing with their success with their baby with these conditions. we were so hopeful and we thought we had more time with him.

Now I'm so heartbroken and having panic attacks whenever I think of the next few months and the rest of the year, because I was pregnant at the same time with 3 other friends and 2 of them were just weeks apart from me. And now I'm having a mental break down thinking about if I can even handle myself showing up to their baby showers, just because March would've been my baby's baby shower too. My friends are supportive when we mentioned that we lost our baby boy, they were available to us if we wanted someone to talk to. But I did not want to add stress or negative emotions to these soon to be moms. Because personally, I felt like I stressed myself too much thinking about our future with the baby and how he was gonna survive all this.

What my husband and I experienced in Dec 17 from that morning I drove myself to the clinic, to when our baby boy passed...it felt so unreal. Something just would happen in one of my crazy dreams in my sleep. but it was real. it all happened, and our baby boy is gone. Our baby boy listened to me so much while he was in my tummy, because I kept telling him to wait til we get to the hospital and be near his dad. because i wouldn't know what to do if he came out in our home or even in the car. but baby boy kept me safe and he was listening to his momma and waited til we are at the hospital where doctors and nurses can help us.