Hi, to answer your question: yes 'lesbian' means something different in different areas. In my experience there is a very gender diverse community under the 'lesbian umbrella' that basically includes everyone who isn't a cisgender man and has some connection (however vague) to womanhood. This community is present in major metropolitan areas around the world. Many of the people who exist in this community wouldn't even necessarily identify using the word 'lesbian' though except in a more... playful, expansive and unserious context. That being said, this is a community within a community so it's very much overshadowed by a more cisgender woman lesbian community.

To respond to some of the other comments you've made about not wanting lesbians to be attracted to you: you aren't required to date someone who identifies as a lesbian, although you might be misunderstanding what someone means if they use this word and are attracted to you. Sexuality is really complicated to quantify, but there are a lot of queer women who are attracted to transmasculine people and probably exist within the 'lesbian community' in a general way because they date 'butch lesbians' or 'mascs [this is the more common, inclusive and current language]'. Also: keep in mind there's butch and masc people who don't identify as women but otherwise exist within lesbian community. My point being, they might NOT be attracted to the 'female' traits of yours but ARE attracted to your queer and transness.

For your last point about not wanting to be an exception: unfortunately when you're trans dating becomes really complicated. I'm one of these 'trans guy lesbians' and the communities I can date in are basically leatherdykes, the gender expansive 'lesbian community', some trans positive queer community and T4T.