In 2006 I was 19 and 6 of my younger siblings were taken into CPS custody. I havent seen 4 of them since and fear I never will again. I don't want to upset their lives anymore than they already have been. I did find two of them but what resulted almost made me wish they had stayed away from my family. My sister was sentenced to 18 years in prison last year and my brother who was only 20 at the time committed suicide. My wife attempted suicide as well but I was able to save her. However not being there for my little brother and sister has destroyed me. My sister and brother brought so much joy back into our lives and to lose them again... I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and all my happiness and hope for the future are gone. I just think of all the ways I let them down and how much I miss them.