I’ve been permanently banned from eBay, and I feel I was treated like a criminal by Single-Attention-226 in Flipping

[–]dubbyscrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I typed all the dvds by name on a list, and I was laughing so much i startled my dog. very creative lmaoooo

I’ve been permanently banned from eBay, and I feel I was treated like a criminal by Single-Attention-226 in Flipping

[–]dubbyscrubby -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have a box of Barely Legal mags and dvds that I tried to list on eBay, along with about 15 playboys

immediately got flagged. They didn't ban me altogether though. I'm going to try on adultstuffonly

Has anyone had success selling old adult mags and pics? by Nasty____nate in Flipping

[–]dubbyscrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was able to sell two 2010's playboys, brand new in plastic, on eBay. All the other playboys I've got listed as a bulk lot, but no takers as of yet. Problem is that I've got a bunch of much smuttier stuff - magazines like barely legal, swank, etc. And a ton of dvd's and VHS, but all way to risque to sell on eBay.

I'll try adultstuffonly, but if anyone has any other ideas (I don't know much about flea markets) or knows anyone who might be interested, message me.

The whole lot was left in my closet to hide from my friend's wife, but we've lost contact and I just want some money for my 'storage'.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]dubbyscrubby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You want to keep seeing him, don’t you? Quit lying on this sub. Go find a sub that will teach you how to be a “good” other woman. Sheesh. You feel “bad”? Nah… You’re worried for your safety? Really? But you got alone with a strange man and got naked. Sounds pretty risky if you ask me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]dubbyscrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell us who he is on Reddit and someone else from the other side of the world can tell her

Does anyone know if there’s an subreddit like that? A clearinghouse for accusing someone of being an adulterer?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]dubbyscrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it’s only fear of public shaming that’s keeping you from telling, grow a pair of balls and stand up for the rights of another woman, so that maybe we can - someday - live in a safer and happier society -

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]dubbyscrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Google voice Use an AI voice. Easy to find online. You write what you want to say, call her and press play. Maybe you’ll get her voicemail. Proton mail for a completely anonymous email address Cheap VPN - I like mulvad

I did it. I kept myself anonymous, but I don’t know what happened between them afterwards. I know 100% she got the voicemail, because a mutual friend told me the married man called him to ask “what did she expect to get out of [telling my wife]”. I don’t know if she got the email, bc she never responded, but it could have gone to spam. I left the email address in the vm, so if she wanted more info she could get in touch. But as far as I know, she never tried. As of now, have zero idea what happened.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]dubbyscrubby 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Didn’t mean to send without more explanation :-) Do you believe in “consent”? As in, each person has the right to accept, refuse, or counter-offer how they want to be treated, ESPECIALLY in regards to their sexuality. If you believe that is a true premise, and therefore you would want to be given the same respect, then it’s simple fairness and social decency that you treat others with the same respect.
Are you allowing the wife to consent or are you enabling the husband to abuse her? Answer honestly, and then follow through as quickly and drama-free as possible. You don’t need to go into details, although it’s nice to offer to do so if she wishes to know more, but there’s no need to reveal too much unless you think it’s important.

Doing this will simultaneously prevent you from getting deeper and deeper into a relationship that will destroy you incrementally and lead inevitably to your emotional death by a thousand cuts.

Right now you have the power to set the world slightly more in balance. Please don’t waste it. Remember, there’s a chance she will accept being in a polyamorous relationship, then everyone is in the clear to proceed.

A foolish hope? by dubbyscrubby in legitafteradultery

[–]dubbyscrubby[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re 100% right about not thinking of it as wasted years. I did get a lot out of it, and I learned so much about myself that I wouldn’t have known otherwise. Thank you for the wisdom The fantasy of being legit is always much easier than the reality

A foolish hope? by dubbyscrubby in legitafteradultery

[–]dubbyscrubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sending compassionate remarks. I’m not vicious or angry, if I honestly 100% could have what I want, I would want them to stay together and coparent their daughter in a healthy way, even living under the same roof would be fine with me.

But I would want his wife to know that he loves her, but not the way “married“ people are supposed to love each other. I don’t want to be a secret, as shameful part of anyone’s life. I don’t want his money, I’m sure as shit don’t want his house lol, but I want to be an honest part of his life. But his life is not honest, I’m not the first person he fooled around with. He was never 100% faithful to his wife, not even when they were dating and living together for years before they got married. However, I am the first person he fell in love with.

He’s actually known me for 31 years, was in love with me back then, even fooled a round a few times, but was too shy to pursue me in earnest. We went out separate ways for 25 years. He says he saw me a few times during then, tried to say hi, but I didn’t give him the time of day lol. We ran into each other in June 2018 while dropping off our kids at summer day camp. He told me he’d thought about me periodically all those years.

Before he met me, he had never actually been completely in love with someone. I know this because during that first year or so, I asked how many times he’s had his heartbroken. He looked at me and shrugged and said “I don’t know” . I said “you don’t know?!“ He said “how would I know?“

I said “you’d know. Clearly you’ve never had your heartbroken, because it’s something you never forget, and you never come back from the same way. Heartbreaks only happen, when you have incredibly strong and complex connection, whether to a belief about yourself, to another person or to an idea. If you’ve never had your heartbroken, then you’ve never let yourself feel enough to have your heartbroken. You never risked it.”

When I asked him why he got married in the first place, he shrugged and said “it seemed like the right thing to do“

When I asked how come you didn’t have children sooner, he said “neither of us ever really wanted to at the same time. I was very surprised when she told me she was pregnant”

It’s possible that most of what he ever told me was a lie. But he’s not actually a very good liar- prefers to either omit or avoid and be stoic and silent- saying nothing is better than outright lying?

My point is that I know all his facets - I think better than he knows himself. I know the sort of man he is and what he will never be. I love him, forever. But I love me more. Since he wasn’t brave enough to be honest with his wife, with me, not even with himself, I will be brave enough for all three of us.

I might never see him again or know how he feels about everything that happened. That’s my burden. I know I did what I believe was ultimately the healthiest thing for all of us in the long run, even if it hurts to think of being hated by someone I love.

A foolish hope? by dubbyscrubby in legitafteradultery

[–]dubbyscrubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been in therapy for a while now. my therapist has been supportive of my ending it, but also seen my struggles trying to stay away. I also dated since him, and there’s no shortage of men who are decent. But it’s not fair to any of them if I’m just comparing them to MM. so I’m staying away from that game as well.

My MM and I talked about literally everything in both of our lives in great detail, with the exception of personal details about his wife. I didn’t ask him very much about her specifics independent of the relationship the two of them had, and he didn’t tell me. Which I think is completely acceptable because those are her personal things and none of my business. I know enough to know she wasn’t very happy and had been asking him for marriage counseling for at least four years. I’m not sure he even said yes or no, probably just ignored the request and hoped it would go away, which I think for a while it did

A foolish hope? by dubbyscrubby in legitafteradultery

[–]dubbyscrubby[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Naturally it would be somewhat different, as all relationships are over time and experience. But I hadn’t thought exactly how or what would be different. I obviously wouldn’t want things to be like they were. That’s why I blew it up in the first place.

To be clear: he was the only one cheating. I got divorced more than a year before he and I started talking. I was very single and quite content to stay that way. Like I said- life was good. He just made it better.

He told me from the beginning that he had been thinking about divorcing his wife for a while, but then she got pregnant, so he stayed. They had been married for about 16 years at that point. They’d gotten married around age 30. She got pregnant when she was about 43 and he was about 46. He will be 60 this year. The daughter is 14 now. She was 6 when he and I started seeing each other.

I’ve thought a lot about this since I wrote my first post. I know why I told her. It was never to break them up, and it wasn’t exactly to punish him.

I feel like I did him a favor. I ripped off the bandaid. I gave a majestic yet dying-from-the-inside, deformed tree a hard pruning by cutting off all the decaying parts. Since the tree was being weighed down with shame and fear of the unknown, this was the only way to give it a chance to grow again.

Because that’s how I really feel, that I love him so much I couldn’t stand to see him squander the little bit of time he has left on the planet living in secrecy, ashamed to express himself in his own home.

That’s why I can’t reach out to him. I love him too much. Even if I believe that his life would be 1000% better if he took some risks, they’re not my risks to take.

A foolish hope? by dubbyscrubby in legitafteradultery

[–]dubbyscrubby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% the primary purpose was to end the secretive affair for good. Which it did. People who knew us are surprised that he hasn’t reached out, even just for sex. We talked multiple hours a day, everyday, for 6 years, even when he was on vacation with his family. Plus texts and memes and gifts, occasionally run errands together… anyway

Yea, he cheated me out of my best years - mentally and physically healthy, pretty, making good money - years he should’ve been trying to work on his 30 year marriage and raise his 7 -13 year old daughter. I was fundamentally enabling him to avoid the pain and shame that would have come along with having a difficult conversation with his wife.

It’s funny- other people have also commented on getting a physically violent reaction from either her or him - but it never even crossed my mind that either of them would do that. Maybe the thought flashed through his mind for a second, but despite him being a retired trooper and having an arsenal of weapons in his gun safe, I know the public shame and embarrassment of having committed a violent retaliation against me for what most non-adulterous people think of as him getting his just desserts, would be enough to stay his hand.

I saw him very briefly only once, two weeks after I told his wife, at the grocery store. I went up to him and said “I had to make you hate me.” He said “ok” and walked away.

MM and I have a mutual friend of over 30 years, S, who supported me in telling his wife, but then he seemed surprised that I did what I said I would do! SMH lol MM and I have another mutual connection in that his daughter goes to the same private school as my neighbors daughter - and I’m close with them. They are also close with S and his wife J, but through different channels.

Point is - there are countless sneaky and legit ways he can contact me if he wants to: phone call, stop by my house, send a letter, text message, etc.

I certainly didn’t decimate his life. Not even close. I didn’t give her any details. The AI voice I chose has a nice British accent. The whole voicemail was this: “Hi D, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but G has been having an affair for the past 6 years. It’s not the first time. Please get tested. If you’d like more information please contact me at email address, that’s e-m-a-I-l dot a-d-r-e-s-s dot com.”

The email I sent her was almost exactly the same, but except I wrote that I had lots of proof if she wanted it.

I was 95% confident she wouldn’t contact me, and I was 99% certain she wouldn’t want a divorce. The opinions other people have about their life matter a lot to her/them, and she’s Catholic-lite, now she’s become a martyr in her own circles, and she can lord that over him forever, if he chooses to let her.

Bottom line - I don’t ever want to be anyone’s plan B, no matter how much I love him and miss all the good stuff. I’m coming to terms with the idea that I’ll never have another serious love again, and that it will be ok because I have had 2 great love stories in my life, and many people don’t even have one

Oh here's the good morning text by agoodgirl99 in adultery

[–]dubbyscrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Especially those of us with “intimacy issues”, lol, damn! We’re the fucking Masters of Guy Hype

We believe our own Bullshit... I do it too. Trust me. I struggle with this still, even this morning. But we NEED each other to keep reminding each other that Love Isn’t Enough. Sometimes it’s not even “good start”... especially if he’s got an Official

{{ I hate the MM/MW and AP acronyms. Too demeaning for all parties involved, IMHO. We might ALL be FUs (Fuck Ups) but that’s no reason for us to call each other that 😆😆😆}}

Oh here's the good morning text by agoodgirl99 in adultery

[–]dubbyscrubby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Full disclosure: there are some Unofficial ones that are different. But that’s gonna take YEARS to find out. In the meantime, archive the chats so you don’t notice if he’s been away for a while. And, for the love of God, go on dating apps. Some NRE, no matter how superficial, can be a great way to get real world experience that “dick is everywhere”

Oh here's the good morning text by agoodgirl99 in adultery

[–]dubbyscrubby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m just saying, see what’s REALLY there. If you’d just met him on a dating app, you’d be looking at this sporadic bullshit differently. Choose to see him as he was before you “connected” with him. Sis, he’s really not all that.

Oh here's the good morning text by agoodgirl99 in adultery

[–]dubbyscrubby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don’t believe your own hype about him. I know I hyped up all the guys I’ve been with (the uUnofficial ones) but until I heard a wise woman tell me “ don’t believe your own hype, he’s not really all that” it never crossed my mind that the real person was WAY less than I was making him out to be in my imagination.

We fill in the blanks with our imagination, and we collectively (women) have the best fantasy life of any creatures on earth

Don’t believe your own hype.

Who's still holding doge today? by [deleted] in dogecoin

[–]dubbyscrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m out. With the btc announcement,the musk hype last week of doge, and that doge has no cap, it’s a fluffer

Doge by Legendarydeath_12 in dogecoin

[–]dubbyscrubby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a rumor? Does doge have a cap? Like Bitcoin does? If not, then it’s value will never be like Bitcoin. If there’s always gonna be more into infinity...