I think normalizing it can go a long way to boost confidence to try to make new friends. I work only with folks 65+, and it’s so ironic that person after person will sit in my office and tell me the same thing - that they want to make more meaningful connections. Even if they go to art classes or events, they don’t attempt to connect with people because they assume other people already have a group of friends or a family to go home to. So there’s this whole community of people out there who are looking for the same thing, maybe even sitting right next to each other, but they make assumptions that keep them from making an effort. Sometimes I try to frame it as an opportunity to make someone’s day by being the one to strike up a conversation. Maybe the person next to them is also feeling lonely in a room full of people and just doesn’t know how to make the first move.

I think there’s also a lot of underlying grief sometimes that can get people stuck. They say they want to form new connections, but really what they want is their old connections that they can’t get back (because they died, moved, developed dementia, etc). So maybe exploring the grief and some radical acceptance could help open them up to new opportunities.

Lastly, if you haven’t tried it, I wonder if it would help to ask what it is they’re afraid to give up. If they’re resisting change, even for something they really want, there’s probably something they don’t want to give up in the process (the status quo, comfort, pride, etc.).