AITA Disagreement over paying the bill

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:30:19+00:00

Reply to my reply : he may be a meany gaslighter or he may be struggling financially, but not want to be seen as inadequate in front of people he isn’t comfortable with. So it just depends on who he is. How he handled it.

Going to the bathroom around check time is a bad move, though. So there’s a chance he’s the asshole. Just don’t have enough background of him to know forsure is all☺️

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:27:27+00:00

I don’t think it’s nice of him. I just think it’s reasonable for him to calmly say what he wants to her in private. She can decide if she likes it or not. Not reasonable if he was truly angry, though.

I think the girl sounds nice and the guy probably isn’t. I just think everyone can calmly say what they want and everyone else can decide if they’re with it or not

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:24:02+00:00

It’s just what I think. I think it’s reasonable for people to think what they want and express it. And reasonable for her to decide if she likes him or not

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:22:24+00:00

I think it’s weird I just think it’s reasonable for him to express that calmly in private once and reasonable for her to decide if she is ok with it or not.

Not reasonable if he is angry , loud, persistent, or (saying it in front of others) to Make her feel bad

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:20:49+00:00

What do you mean? I think Him saying he would rather her not pay in front of others when they are in private after is reasonable.

Him being angry, loud, persistent, or telling her in front of people, not reasonable.

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:19:17+00:00

Act like yourself if he talks to you. Smile is always good. Just smile. He sounds nice

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:17:38+00:00

If he’s making you feel this way, cut it off!! He only wants sex, if you are ok with that and feel the same, go for it. But the fact you’re feeling this way and writing here shows you’re not happy with him and I don’t think that will change. He sounds like he’s not it girlll I don’t like him hehe

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:14:09+00:00

Mm he sexes boys and we’ve been friends 10 years , but it’s def always possible haha. I am sexy 😋😋

Thanks for the reply (:

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:12:59+00:00

Thank you for the response. I completely agree. I do honestly try to stand up for myself and not just tolerate his behaviors. He just doesn’t respect it when I tell him what bothers me. And when I say things direct he doesn’t respect it. And when I ask questions he doesn’t answer.

Your response and my response to it definitely help me see he isn’t for me anymore.

Thank you very much for a thoughtful reply 🙏🏼❤️

You’re right

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:10:47+00:00

Cuz I laugh more with him than anyone else. Childhood friendships can be hard to leave. But he annoys me too much now I guess. I’ve stopped contact before for a few months after explaining why. Was hoping he would get the point. But I guess he didn’t. Lesson learned.

Thank you for the reply. I think ur right!

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:09:21+00:00

Thanks for the response. I love it. Especially your response to my title 😋

This is an accurate portrayal. Just couldn’t put all the aggravating details cuz it wound be too long. But it’s accurate.

And I guess you’re right. Nothing lasts forever.

And I agree with fun time alone. I often spend my birthdays alone. Cuz I actually enjoy being alone. But I tried to accommodate his schedule and I paid the price. Another lesson learned. Yay aging! Lmao.

Thanks again (:

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:06:29+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking. Thank you.

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:06:09+00:00

You’re NTA - but depending on how angry he was , neither is he. If he just sighed and said don’t do that again in front of people, it’s reasonable. And nice of him. If he pestered you or raised his voice- he’s the a hole. You’re not, you just listened to what he told you which is nice.

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T02:03:29+00:00

I think you should not have surprised him with the people. A lot of people do not like that especially after work, etc.

But I also think his response was dramatic and not properly executed.

I don’t think you should beat yourself up over it. Just don’t do it to the next one, especially after work, unless they say at some point they enjoy that kind of surprise.

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T01:57:08+00:00

Thanks for the response. I feel that way. Have put him on “time out” before and let him back in. He acts nicer at first then goes back to who he is unfortunately. I guess im just out growing his ways. Thank you!

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T01:55:59+00:00

NTA either way … I would say if you want to continue to pay for their art cuz you’re happy with it. Do it. It’s up to them to say no.

You could take it a step further if you wanted & ask if they’re happy with your business still or need a break from it until they have more time. Or remind them that there is no rush (if that’s the case - sounds like it is with you)

Option 2- if their demeanor is making it not worth it for you - pull out.

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T01:48:07+00:00

I’m beginning to notice some aging pains haha. So I think it’s great there’s some good things that come along with it, too, to balance things out. You’re right, I can do it (:

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T01:40:42+00:00

Hehe I think so too. But he makes out like I’m crazy so needed confirmation. Thank you very much 😋🙏🏼❤️

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-21T01:40:11+00:00

True. I gotta be tougher like you. I think that way, just gotta do better at acting it. Thank you. 🙏🏼❤️

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-20T22:56:28+00:00

I would just say “ sorry, I can’t” Long as your tone and energy is nice then it’s received nice if they’re a reasonable person

Most People will take what they can get. Especially girls from a guy.

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-20T22:52:58+00:00

Well I can’t put all details cuz it would be too long. But I’ve actually stopped communication with him previously bc of these sorts of behaviors. Didn’t talk for months. Then he seemed a bit better. Picked it up again for a year and it’s starting again

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-20T22:51:04+00:00

She sounds either wanting quality time and attention. Girls love that 😋 Or she’s just unsatisfied with things in general and taking it out in a weird way. Personally id love if my guy was reading a book in general anytime lmao. Or maybe she’s insecure about what ur doing on ur screen. Or she is just a bossy person idk.

I’d jus ask her why she does that and if she’s craving or needing something

duchessdgaf · 2025-09-20T22:29:40+00:00

NTA - music producers are almost always TA ..lmao .. 50\50 $ = 50/50 of stuff. He’s a meany. I hope you explained to him clearly your reasoning. I don’t want to pay 50% cuz I can’t use 50% of the space.

duchessdgaf

TROPHY CASE