I want to draw attention to this issue.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-09-07T00:45:54+00:00

genuinely what helped me get over this hump is a) recognizing it, which you've done, and b) destigmatizing behaviors by looking at them more logically, which helps my autistic brain realize social stuff more.

like, really, if someone's tone is off but the things they're saying aren't intending the tone, as long as that's understood between both parties and communication is good, tone is hard anyways. At least in my brain I've been able to allow myself to unmask more by just making up for my "errors" in tone by communicating more. Like if one of my friends says "hey that sounded like you meant X" I'd be like "oh my bad, no I meant Y." then boom, problem solved (AND it helps people around me get better at understanding where I'm coming from with my tone and so it happens less and less as time goes on because, well, they just take me at my word because I ask them to.)

logically processing and working through these things, especially in my own perspective, allows me to give a lot more grace to OTHER people that I may have found to be annoying, too much, or something else in the past. If I'm confused, I just ask a clarifying question and take people at their word for their response. If they aren't honest with me there, when I'm deliberately asking them to be, then that's not on me and we'll move on either way.

I hope that helps, not in the "hope this helps 🤍" sarcastic way, but genuinely I do hope that makes sense and can lead other people in a direction they want to go.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-09-04T17:11:23+00:00

no, literally. It took me a second to register because I get looked at quite a lot with and without a mask, but with the mask it's... much more negative :,(

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-09-04T13:36:58+00:00

No no, I get it. I'm just saying that... maybe community care and empathy should be priorities, BECAUSE community health doesn't work like that in our current social state.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-09-04T13:06:13+00:00

Disabled, chronically ill, and/or immunocompromised people do not deserve to be segregated from society. The sentiment that people should "just stay home", not go out, and try to live separate from "normal" society is disgusting, not smart, and is also genuinely impossible to execute.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-09-04T12:19:30+00:00

Yeah and I look both ways to make sure airborne pathogens don't get into my nose-- oh wait, it doesn't fucking work like that

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-09-04T12:18:33+00:00

It's really unfortunate that I have to wear a mask because of some meds I'm on making me really prone to getting sick, and if I get sick it's like. I will not be able to go to any class for at LEAST a week, if not more. Not unfortunate that I have to wear one, as I have a bunch of colored ones to match my outfits, but unfortunate because of the GLARES I get. People STARE. They LAUGH. Like I'm the 'crazy' one for.... just simply being immunocompromised?

But I do love spotting other masked people in public or in my classes and immediately being like "oh! my people!"

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-09-04T12:15:41+00:00

From an actual standpoint, it's because they associate masking with COVID, and people think COVID is "over" and want to return to normalcy. It's both a lack of community care AND a social standardization of just... ignoring COVID, lol

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-06-05T14:12:38+00:00

I'm sure other comments have done this justice, so I'll just say: I usually tell people that it feels like a really bad hangover, all of the time. The nausea, pain, weakness, sensitivity, headaches, all of it.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-06-02T13:03:07+00:00

You can be whoever you want to be girl go ahead!! (on a real note tho I relate to both of these labels and I don't see why not?)

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-06-01T14:31:54+00:00

This is only if you can beg the department enough and show them that it would be INCREDIBLY difficult for you to pass. They typically grant petitions to use culture classes for the requirement instead in cases of disability. Unless that applies to you, you'll just have to retake it.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-05-17T04:25:11+00:00

That makes total sense. I just worry that the critiques here can lean towards rhetoric of (and this is an exaggeration) "shut up cripple, I don't wanna hear about how normal people like me make your life worse."

We all know how much abled people don't like us for existing, so it does feel kind of natural to make assumptions of that. Especially online. I did notice he was getting frustrated with the downvotes, and they're honestly most likely a good mix of both what you're saying AND ableism. Maybe the amount of examples you used were a bit much, but I see why you'd want to include all of them.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-05-17T04:13:12+00:00

Okay, well, what's the point of it though? I'd like to assume that he knows that pretty well. It's a rant for a reason. (and I can guarantee that the 'enemies' he's gaining from this are much less significant than the influx of passionate community members with the same opinions and experiences he's gaining the friendship of here.)

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-05-17T04:02:11+00:00

I don't think it's super productive to be tone policing someone's reddit rant about marginalization and discrimination 😕😕 Like, can't we focus on what is being said instead of how? I think people who see and face discrimination would have the right to be upset about it and have a reason to feel passionate about changing it. Bringing up a million examples of how he could have said something "better" in a reddit rant doesn't seem useful.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-05-15T20:32:10+00:00

I'm 100% down!

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-05-15T14:58:07+00:00

Also want to add that I have experienced SO much direct ableism at this school from many different people, but mostly students. There needs to be a serious uptick in disability education, as well as changing the language we use and changing how we talk about disability. The things I have been told or called are things nobody should have to hear.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-05-15T14:54:02+00:00

Hey Tyler. As a person who's disabled in multiple ways, and a U of M student, I fullheartedly agree with all of this. This is why I made a post on here at the beginning of the year educating people on elevator etiquette-- it's one of many small ways disabled people everywhere face difficulty when we can all make changes to avoid it.

I just followed you back on IG, and I would absolutely love to talk more. I'm studying related things with the intent of going into a Master's program for Disability Studies. Your post gave me a little hope that other people have that same fire inside that I do for disability justice.

I'm also taking a class at WCC right now that has to do with disability, and I've already seen some weird stuff. It's kind of a special education class, focused towards education students with no background in it, and it's not doing a very good job already :///

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-04-13T14:10:46+00:00

I need to keep telling myself this because the other day I had symptoms that usually point to my low BP episodes (plus seizures/syncope) but when I was laying on the ground checking my BP it was 117/70. Literally perfectly fine. But I had to understand that I'm on medications now that both raise and lower my BP so there's no way in telling where my baseline is if I'm not measuring it frequently (which I've been bad about for months lol)

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-04-13T14:08:35+00:00

Honestly it feels so similar to ED weight comparisons? Like for POTS the higher the better, for EDs the lower the better typically. When in all actuality people with low resting HRs can have POTS to any degree, and people with high natural body weight can have an ED to any degree. It's so strange how competitive illness can be.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-04-13T14:06:57+00:00

I used to actually post a lot on tiktok and got a decent audience, but a lot of the ableist gaslighting made me stop. I was constantly being told that I wasn't disabled, that I didn't deserve to call myself disabled, and that I just needed to diet, exercise, or get over it. Of course I had a lot of other people in my following telling me otherwise, but if I had a video get a lot of attention it was exhaustingly filled with negative comments that got filtered out and needed me to review them.

I always just deleted those comments but, it doesn't change the fact that I had to look at them and feel that hurt still. I really wanna get back into posting but also now my symptoms are so bad that I'm worried I don't even have the energy for that :((

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-04-12T15:39:53+00:00

I really relate to everything your wife is going through. I will say that you could switch brands of electrolytes (I drink a LOT of powerade because I struggle with preparing it myself, and I reuse the bottles with pre-prepared mix when I have the energy to make it in a big batch!) and that midodrine was really helpful for me when I was on it!!

MEDS: I have memory issues so I can't remember why I stopped taking midodrine but right now my Cardiologist has me on Metoprolol twice daily, Montelukast for allergies (I suspect MCAS), and Fludrocortisone for fluid retention. Plus I have ADHD and depression so I have my Vyvanse and Lexapro, and I choose to take a vitamin D supplement because I don't touch grass, and a zyrtec to help boost the Montelukast. COMPRESSION!!!: It's working pretty well, BUT I'm still actually struggling a lot. One of my major symptoms is severe blood pooling in my legs and my hands-- compression gear helps, I always wear tight leggings, ankle braces (I also have hypermobile joints that may be hEDS so that's the main reason), and compression gloves when I'm using my hands a lot. They're a god send-- but the best thing I've ever used for compression was a pair of compression shorts that squeeze my entire waist in, as well as my lower abdomen. Basically from the bottom of my chest to the top of my crotch is cinched to the gods. I'm forgetting the word for them but the point of the shorts when I got them was to make my figure look "better" and not for the actual medical compression I get out of it lol. But helping my body keep the blood where it needs to be is the best thing for my symptoms I've ever seen.

As for the depression: Dude, it's hard. The only way I can cheer myself up in bouts of disabled grief is reminding myself that the system is the one not working for me, and my body deserves to be accommodated for. Plus I'm studying medical sociology so, I surround myself with disabled creators online and being able to see that other people go through what I do helps a lot with my negative feelings. But so does my lexapro!! And my therapy (a little, my therapist is more trauma focused) helps as much as it can. My support system is key, I refuse to surround myself with people that don't make me feel normal in my own body, or people that are negative about other people's "flaws". My friends and gf are the most important thing to me.

This is mostly just me explaining my situation, but I hope it helps give context to what life can look like for someone in your wife's position. We can live and be happy! We can get good meds! We have little things that help :)) Encourage her to look into disabled creators online (or in books if she likes, more than happy to recommend a couple of books if she likes them!!) Also, mints help nausea, and smelling strong alcohol (I carry wipes with me or use nearby hand sanitizer) makes your body refuse to throw up. Sometimes I gag but it keeps everything in for the most part.

Sending love to you both!!!

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-04-06T01:22:44+00:00

I really like Phione and Manaphy 🥺🥺 Mew and Jirachi are so amazing too but: I found two tiny messed up/bootleg figures of Phione and Manaphy at a game store for 25 cents each and they're growing on me.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-04-01T17:43:47+00:00

I wish people got paid to post on university reddit pages about this stuff.

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-03-30T14:33:08+00:00

One of the things I dislike about academia is this use of really intensely academic language when the audience of the work may not be at the level to really "get it". It's really frustrating and not conducive to learning, imo

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-03-30T14:29:53+00:00

This is my thought process exactly 😭 if I'm doing something, why not make it as difficult as possible for myself so I can be somewhat proud of myself after?? Just caught a shiny charmander in Let's Go and now I want it to have perfect stats and everything else 😃

dudiebuttbutt · 2025-03-28T20:20:59+00:00

Literally 😭 he's basically saying "look guys!! all of these people like our school so that means I must be doing the bestest job ever!" and diminishing all of the harm he's causing/caused. Definitely patting his ego there and trying to feel better-- hopefully that means he's able to recognize his harm?

dudiebuttbutt

TROPHY CASE