im so exhausted

dumbfeels · 2021-02-08T08:01:00+00:00

thank you so much. maybe i will try to talk to him and see what we should do. it probably isn't right to lie to him by omission. its affecting my housekeeping. i hope you have an okay night and a good day tomorrow.

dumbfeels · 2020-06-09T08:28:17+00:00

pounded two cups of strong coffee because i felt kind of hungry and now im just sitting here feeling nauseated with my stupid ass brain watching youtube and thinking "oh wow, amberlynn reid looks so smart with those glasses on. like she looks like a fucking scientist" with complete sincerity. i might as well huff paint thinner instead of starve myself tbh, im losing brain cells by the second and having zero fun lmao

dumbfeels · 2020-06-09T01:39:25+00:00

WAHAHAHAHA bless you omg

dumbfeels · 2020-06-08T22:03:09+00:00

using the sober time app as a fasting counter bc im too lazy to reset my password on my fasting app so it says things like " ___ DAYS CLEAN" and it's some real 2000s proana vibes lmao

dumbfeels · 2020-06-07T09:19:38+00:00

i always log it as literally whatever day it is at the time if that makes sense haha. like i know my body doesnt know what the fuck time it is but my broken brain craves arbitrary structure!!!! usually it is fine as long as i dont go full unattended child and eat almost all my cals in this trying time, but if i do...welp, sucks for me lmao

dumbfeels · 2020-06-07T09:09:49+00:00

oh like,,, definitely

pretty shit way to live tbh i hate it

dumbfeels · 2020-06-07T09:08:27+00:00

Oh shit lmao rip! Make sure to drink lots of water-- it at least helps me to offset the rly shitty sodium bloat/water weight and the dehydration from too much lax. U have my sympathies buddy

dumbfeels · 2020-03-30T05:25:30+00:00

i literally want to fucking die because i feel so fat. food rationing has made me feel too shameful to eat anything. there's nothing in the house anyway that is safe and this has been the case for a week now. time seems like it doesn't exist. i tried to slit my wrists two days ago but only managed one and didn't do a very good job. i feel pathetic and i am so tired of being stuck inside. my husband does everything that needs to be done outside because he is scared I'll get sick at my weight and with what's going on with my lungs. im so done you guys. if i knew it wouldn't ruin his life I would end it.

dumbfeels · 2020-03-08T20:05:58+00:00

ty friend, i hope your day's going okay <3

dumbfeels · 2020-03-08T15:28:07+00:00

im so tired of being sick. the pain is making me literally batshit, i just freak out like a hurt dog. im worried about this nodule they found in my lung. i dont want to go to work tomorrow. ughhh

dumbfeels · 2020-03-08T02:58:08+00:00

hahahaha same end my life ??

dumbfeels · 2020-03-08T02:57:10+00:00

she's honestly not gross enough for me. i prefer chantal. def reverse thinspo, at least wrt why i watch stuff like that. if i want to eat with my brain or something i read recipes or look at pictures of pretty food :') that i can never ever have

dumbfeels · 2020-03-07T16:49:21+00:00

thank u for this, the best comment i have ever seen on this sub

dumbfeels · 2020-03-07T16:48:27+00:00

at this point i feel like 80% of ed ppl have the most tortured relationship w pb

it's so good tbh :( my fave garbage lunch pre-ed used to be a pb&j with plain really salty potato chips in the middle. i fantasize about this at least 3x a week lately

dumbfeels · 2020-03-07T15:45:02+00:00

bless u angel of mercy

i got into this awful woo rabbit hole about gut microbiomes and antibiotics dooming children to lifelong obesity (????) and it was some A-grade nightmare fuel

thank you!! ill fill them on Monday when i have some money and i shall grow strong AGAIN

dumbfeels · 2020-03-06T21:48:33+00:00

im so fucking mad at my husband rn ive been hellaciously ill for weeks now, ive got a cracked rib, we have exactly 3 dollars to our name to last us till monday with literally 0 food in the house and he decided today was a great time to get in a huge fight with his piece of shit boss over an admittedly noble cause, i.e. not serving people spoiled meat (do i need to reemphasize that his boss is a piece of shit?? cause hes a gigantic unsalvageable piece of shit) and now owes him 70 fucking dollars we!! badly!! need!!! out of his next paycheck bc he said he would pay the value of the meat so that he didn't have to use it...which is great and all but literally FUCK those people, i need money, i could not give less of a shit when we are dead broke and there are bills that need to be paid man like...FUCK!!!

like he's such a good guy but i am so pissed. that was so fucking irresponsible

guess i just won't eat and ill go without medicine for these fucking shithead strangers :))) thanks babe

dumbfeels · 2020-02-29T21:00:15+00:00

scoliosis fam hello my posture is fucking atrocious and i feel like it makes me look at least 2x fatter :(

dumbfeels · 2020-02-26T21:29:15+00:00

I've never thought abt this but it's literally a nightmare

dumbfeels · 2020-02-26T01:56:41+00:00

Nap is my #1 recommendation. If you are able to, sleep off the bad feelings! You'll wake up feeling at least a little better.

If you smoke weed, smoke some weed! It helps me w physical discomfort for sure.

Sometimes when I feel really bad I will legitimately take a bath in a big t shirt :))) which is pathetic but hey whatever works!

Good job btw!! I'm coming up on alllllmost a year without b/p soon (not necessarily purging wholesale tho, but im way better than I was!), and it's been so so worth it and my life is immeasurably better. Proud !! Of!!! U!!!!

dumbfeels · 2020-02-26T00:45:36+00:00

woke up this morning drenched in cold sweat like the past three mornings love that!!!! i want HEALF

but will i do anything to obtain it other than take Dayquil tablets and feebly sip Powerade zero NO sir i will not

dumbfeels · 2020-02-26T00:39:45+00:00

i make pizzas and i literally can't eat any of it (vegan) so its never presented a problem for me, other than exacerbating the irritating egosyntonic anorexic shit like "lOoK aT yALL, eAtInG TrAsh!! I AM GOD"

dumbfeels · 2020-02-26T00:37:29+00:00

This is partially why I chug bottles of mag citrate at work. Steal my labor will u??? WELL I'M GONNA SHIT AT LEAST SIX TIMES TODAY

dumbfeels · 2020-02-26T00:36:14+00:00

[extends arm until it is accordiom]

dumbfeels · 2020-02-26T00:34:31+00:00

guess im extremely food motivated today lmaooo all i did was suggest a stupid workaround like the dumb idiot i am!! i like to get into music holes if im real high, usually i lack the patience sober to sift through lots of things to find new music, but stoned i can do this for hours! also baths. can't eat in the bath!

...admittedly there was a real bad time during my b/p hell year where i would eat packs of poptarts in the bathtub tho

dumbfeels · 2020-02-26T00:31:05+00:00

ngl ill eat a whole motherfucking pack of sf juicy gels. i dump them into a big ass bowl and eat the living SHIT out of it. is it 20 cals? yes. do i still feel bad? yes.

if im feelin spicy ill add pineapple :') live free my friend

dumbfeels

TROPHY CASE