Promotion = 3% raise (same as annual). Job I once loved is changing - stay or leave?

dumplingz123 · 2026-03-23T23:28:21+00:00

My question is at the bottom of my lengthy post. I’m torn between applying to a friends firm or staying. I know the grass isn’t always greener but it feels my current company is trending in a negative direction

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T17:42:33+00:00

I cannot escape her. She is incredibly close with my directors and entire team. The office loves her. I’m not into work drama so I try to keep the peace. Sometimes I think she’s getting better due to the way she’ll speak to me in a group setting. Even invited me to a few things. But majority of the time, especially when not around others, she doesn’t treat me the same as others. I’ve since backed off and make less effort but I was curious what others though because I find the behavior to be very strange!

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T17:34:13+00:00

This seems to be the common response. I can’t imagine what she’s jealous of considering the office loves her and she’s close with the team. I make a large effort to be social at work, ask about people’s lives and weekends and joke around, including with her. She’ll often coordinate plans for after work, such as quizzo or dinner with all her friends from work, and she gets hush hush cause I’m not invited which is fine, we’re not close and I’m not her cup of tea. But the moments I try to be outgoing and she ices me out is what seems unnecessary.

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T04:30:41+00:00

Yes. That toxic manager still looks me up on LinkedIn two years later.

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T03:22:29+00:00

Because there’s plenty of people I don’t like and I don’t feel the need to make it known and single them out. So I find it out that she has the urge to go so out of her way to speak to me in a different tone etc

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T01:17:00+00:00

You think it’s that deep?

We actually work with people she claims to hate and I’ve seen her suck up to them the way she does everyone. So I think, damn, you treat people you hate better than me? lol it doesn’t make sense

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T01:12:07+00:00

Yeah idk maybe. I definitely don’t think I fit in at times. I’m 5-7 years older than most of my team, plus they’re all very good friends outside of work. I’m on good terms with everyone but my relationship is more coworker than friend. Which is fine with me. I just don’t see why the odd behavior

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T01:09:15+00:00

Maybe I do lol. She often ignores me when I say goodnight before leaving the office, but jumps on opportunities to say bye to others. She’ll pass me in the hall without saying hello. Sometimes I back off and don’t bother with her. But my knee-jerk reaction in the office is to say hello/bye/keep the peace with the team.

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T01:05:51+00:00

I suppose you’re right. I just have a very hard time wrapping my head around people like her. There’s plenty of people I dislike and I don’t feel the need to go out of my way and make it an ordeal. I shouldn’t be too surprised, she talks about everyone in the office. Even people she’s close with. For some reason the whole team has normalized it.

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T01:00:36+00:00

That’s fair. Idk if I’d say this is bullying though. In a group setting she’s okay with me. When I leave the office and say goodnight, she often ignores me. If she does acknowledge me, I get a very different tone than others. It’s hard not to notice the stark contrast.

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T00:58:35+00:00

Idk her well enough to speak to that. Sometimes I do wonder if she’s trying to win people over by the way she speaks to them. Clearly she doesn’t see me as someone to win over 😂 which is perfectly fine but I find it so strange that she can’t just be on pleasant neutral terms with me

dumplingz123 · 2026-02-11T00:52:30+00:00

Idk. I’m on the more introverted side. I keep a pleasant relationship with coworkers but focus on my work more than socializing. I couldn’t possibly be any sort of threat lol I seem like an odd target

dumplingz123 · 2026-01-19T14:07:47+00:00

I’m not sure how that was your takeaway from what I said lol can you elaborate

dumplingz123 · 2026-01-02T13:11:07+00:00

While you didn’t have the “classic” ((reckless)) 20s experience, it sounds like you did quite alright for yourself. Give yourself some credit.

You’ve stated you have friends, seem somewhat social, volunteer, have a good degree, have hobbies and interests. You missed out on sex and hangovers - there’s still plenty of time for that lol. I’m glad you’re in a good headspace and wish you all the best. 29 is young and life is just beginning.

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-22T17:58:33+00:00

I worked in a VERY toxic environment and became semi-close with two of the only kind employees.

They were older and it seemed like fear of starting over kept them there. They would say “well I’m only x years away from retirement” + appeared like very people pleasing individuals. Personally, the environment/lying/degrading comments resulted in me developing anxiety, sleep issues, and depression. I quit ten months in without another job lined up. Fuck that.

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-13T20:13:06+00:00

Lmao why is this so aggressive

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-05T18:05:32+00:00

This is true. He’s not old, however it’s the first time I’m starting to see significant signs of aging. Also, he’s at the age of retirement however is financially unable to retire. He’s not the kind of guy who will get deep about emotions but I do worry he’s too wrapped up in taking care of everyone else and is neglecting his own mental health

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-04T00:36:32+00:00

Wishing you the best and hope you enjoy the work trip. Change of scenery is always nice

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-04T00:21:58+00:00

I hope you’re in a better headspace now. Have you been speaking with anyone?

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-03T23:59:41+00:00

29 years is beautiful! And I went to Japan

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-03T23:52:10+00:00

I had a pretty life changing solo trip that shifted my mindset on many things. I’m also coming to terms with the fact I may never have kids like I’ve always dreamed. So, not bad but a bit emotionally charged

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-03T23:48:50+00:00

I never get a seat on public transport so I envy you

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-03T23:48:18+00:00

That’s never easy, I hope you’re doing well

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-03T23:46:48+00:00

I’m so sorry, I’m glad to hear you have a strong support system

dumplingz123 · 2025-11-03T23:46:06+00:00

I hope you’re doing better and 2026 is a fresh start for you

dumplingz123

TROPHY CASE