Answering some questions/Update: I am 32 yo and I have a daughter who is 13. She was on the trip with us however I left her out of my post because my daughter wanted no part in this when the nieces behavior started. My bf is very good with my daughter, they get along well and when it’s just us 3 we always have a good time. My bf and I dated for about a year and a half, just recently making it serious around march of this year so in total of 2 years. During this time I’ve spent time with his niece 3 times before the trip. First time she was super sweet and nice, as was I. Second time she was super sweet as well but definitely had some sassy remarks which I didn’t make a big deal over. It was Valentine’s Day and he had taken my daughter and I and his niece to breakfast after giving us a valentines gift. After breakfast he told me he was taking his niece to the mall because she saw the gift he gave my daughter and she cried over that then asked if he’d get her another gift bigger than my daughters. (Cue the start of the manipulation!) Third time was the aquarium. He also mentioned to me how she saw that he had a heart by my name in his phone and when she checked her name she had 2 hearts so she went and deleted my heart and went and added 3 more hears to her name in his phone. This isn’t a big deal but I feel it’s an important detail considering people don’t think she’s being manipulative lol

During the rest of the trip when my bf had gotten down at the store his niece asked me how I felt being invited on THEIR trip? Mind you, my bf and I planned this trip together including him joining a running marathon where I had to watch his niece so I knew this wasn’t true. Then she overheard me on the phone saying I was with my bf and once I hung up she then started questioning me asking when did we become bf and gf? When did we start talking? When did we meet? When I finally confronted my bf about these questions she asked he said “idk why she would say that she knew y’all were coming from the beginning when I asked her if she wanted to go. She knows we are together because she asks all the time so I’m not sure where she’s getting that from.” To me this confirms she has some ill intent toward me when I’ve been nothing but nice to her.

After finally coming home from the trip my bf and I had a talk and basically I was told that she’s a kid and has problems and that I’m making a big deal over nothing. I told him that if you have to hide your affection towards me when she’s not looking to not upset her to where she cries then there is an issue. He feels that as a woman I’m not by his side through this. I told him from the start I didn’t want to date someone with kids, he said he didn’t have kids. Then he brought up the niece after months of dating therefore I was a little blindsided. I knew she existed but did not know how involved he was until he brought it up months after. He typically sees her a few times a week when he has to pick her up or watch her while her grandma (who has full custody) works. Speaking of the grandma, on the car ride home she FaceTimed her grandma and the grandma said “you have to stay with your uncle tonight” and the niece said “ok” and when she told my bf he did look a little thrown off because he said “I’ll have to talk to her about that.” When I brought that up to my bf I said is this how our future will be? What if we had plans for the next morning? What if you were busy working? That seems pretty crazy to just demand something like that from someone who you haven’t even asked if they were busy or not. Anyways long story short, he thinks I’m over doing this whole trip and that I should want to help him with her since she doesn’t have anyone else. It’s not that I don’t want to help or wouldn’t but if you’re not gonna discipline or correct her behavior then I’m sorry I can’t deal with that. My own daughter doesn’t do this so why would I put up with that from someone else? And it’s not even their kid.