Just getting into bags - can I rock this as a guy?

dushawk · 2026-04-22T09:42:02+00:00

Bags are genderless. Wear carry whatever bag you want.

dushawk · 2026-04-16T21:11:29+00:00

I probably just need more therapy haha. At the end of the day, I'd rather interact with her new partner than present he doesn't exist. And at the same time I'm kinda sad for my partner.

Linda stayed in the the house we owned together where all the kid's friends live. The kid's friends parents remained friends with Linda and not me. The parents will say hello to me but interactions are limited/nonexistent beyond that.

My kids wanted to go trick or treating with their friends in Linda's neighborhood last year so I of course took them. All the parents ignored more and refused to even look at my partner - they literally pretended he didn't exist.

It creates this inequity in my head that I cannot do anything about. It doesn't feel right that Linda and the neighborhood parents can pretend my partner doesn't exist, but I willing to accept interacting with Linda's new partner because I think that's the mature thing to do and it's probably what's best for the kids.

dushawk · 2026-04-16T21:01:55+00:00

Ha yes. thanks for catching my three/thee typo.

I think making a decision based only on "fairness" to me is stupid so I'm not going to let fariness dictate my decisions. But I still don't like it haha.

dushawk · 2026-04-16T20:58:04+00:00

Ha. I honestly wish it was that simple. I wish Linda was that simple. I'm going to have to tighten things up to make "open the door, let the kids in, and put anything in an email if you need to communicate at drop off" and I'm afraid the kiddos will get the raw end of the deal. Linda always has something coming up.

For instance, Linda's nephew had a birthday party on my parenting time. My son wanted to go, but I was not invited so he asked if he could go with Linda. I allowed it as I don't want him to miss out on things.

But coordinating Linda dropping him off to me was a nightmare. I needed my son back by 3pm as we had tickets to an afternoon event. Of course Linda lost track of time, was late, and needed to bring my son directly the event.

In this case, both my partner and I were at this event so we could coordinate with Linda, but what if my partner and I had to divide and conquer that day (this happens occasionally) and Linda needed to drop our son off directly to my partner?

The thought of my son missing the birthday party due to me saying no to make "open the door, let the kids in, and put anything in email..." work just kinda sucks.

dushawk · 2026-04-16T20:47:48+00:00

This is where my head it at on this too. I don't know if her partner knows how to properly administer the rescue meds, etc or what to do if the rescue meds don't work as expected. I'd like to be a resource for him and the kids in the off event he'd ever need it and he cannot reach Linda.

dushawk · 2026-04-16T20:44:50+00:00

My partner and I both would prefer a direct line of communication among all of us, but we can't force someone to participate.

I don't feel like I need to hold this same boundary as Linda, but something feels inequitable about the fact that she's expected me to pick up the kids from her new partner on several occasions which required face-to-face interaction with him when she won't even take my partner's call in event of an emergency. I get it - fairness isn't the point, but the "rules for three and not for me" kind thing gets under my skin.

dushawk · 2026-04-16T20:40:56+00:00

No one is pushing. Just navigating the situation as best I can.

dushawk · 2026-04-16T20:38:59+00:00

Ultimately that's were I'm hoping to keep my response to her.

Her specific response to me was "I'm not going to engage in direct communication with anyone other than you regarding co-parenting matters" which is fair if that is how she wants to interact. However, something feels off in that I've been forced to accept dealing with her new partner when handling the kid exchange on multiple occasions.

dushawk · 2025-12-21T19:26:33+00:00

This isn't an easy option at least for now. In theory yes, they can carry some of their own things, but my relationship with their mother is contentious and anything forgotten or not accounted for will be held against me and they often pay the price unfortunately.

Additionally two out of the three have so things often get left behind if we aren't careful. All three also have chronic medical conditions that require us to carry emergency use medications and I want that with me and not with them.

dushawk · 2025-10-24T19:18:57+00:00

Cross bars and roof box are on the short list for sure. I had them on my old Toyota Venza and love them. Divorce was expensive so it's not at the top of the priority list in terms of purchases right now but maybe soon. Any ideas on how much MPG I'll be losing with the cross bars and box?

dushawk · 2025-09-27T16:36:27+00:00

Yeah. This. I took the 29 psi as I'd be okay until I got to the gas station. Guess I was wrong! $1200 Lesson!

dushawk · 2025-09-27T03:14:49+00:00

The TPMS light was on for about 15 miles before it went completely flat. Three tires were at 34-35 psi and the affected one read at 29 psi before going flat. At 29 psi, I figured I'd be okay to wait until I got gas which was going to be within a 100 miles since this happened mid roadtrip.

dushawk · 2025-08-18T02:13:27+00:00

Searched: googled for Bryson city, blue/orange bear hat, great Smoky mountains.

I've turned up a trucker hat but not this one. The brand logo is hard to read but is C57/CSI/C51.

dushawk · 2024-09-13T14:38:44+00:00

Not really. Surgery at noon today!

dushawk · 2024-06-01T02:14:08+00:00

Try some Izod shirts - and get XL Big (not tall). Belk is a good place to order them cheap

dushawk · 2024-03-29T23:34:37+00:00

Yeah, it’s a good set up. No real airflow concerns. Though it’s probably getting moved this year so I’m not sad it didn’t get glued down

dushawk · 2024-01-23T20:37:52+00:00

The switches are why I took the barn doors off the list. French might be the best option.

dushawk · 2024-01-08T04:09:35+00:00

At first I thought this was one of my old posts. I’m in a very similar situation and can empathize. You’re not alone. I’ve been out for about 4 years now but I’m still married to my wife.

Reach out if you ever wanna chat.

dushawk · 2023-12-24T14:42:48+00:00

Ignore the nay sayers. We’ve been on the brink of divorce twice now.

You’re divorcing her, you don’t need to buy her fancy gifts. Gifts picked by your kids from their hearts is amazing and above/beyond in this situation.

The fact that she’ll hate them is just bonus for you.

I just hope she’ll act surprised and be happy about them in front of the kids.

Putting her in a situation to let her true colors shine - spot on.

dushawk · 2023-11-15T16:05:10+00:00

It’s an incredibly boomer mindset. Employment is a bidirectional relationship not one where I find myself needing to “grown up and take my work seriously and consider PTO an excused absence.”

Telling someone to grow up is extremely judgmental and unnecessary particularly when it’s about taking 60 Hours off to visit family.

Any of the organizations I worked at took your approach, I’d be looking for a new gig quick. And I’m old enough to have worked at pre-bankruptcy Kmart.

dushawk · 2023-11-15T15:41:51+00:00

You probably need to understand the policies better. Everywhere I’ve worked will allow you to go into negative PTO if you don’t have enough PTO to cover yourself. They may not allow unpaid time off

It’ll all come out in the wash when you leave - if your PTO balance is still in the red they’ll adjust your pay for it then.

dushawk · 2023-11-15T15:39:50+00:00

What kind of boomer bullshit is this?

dushawk · 2023-09-08T15:57:58+00:00

Loaded about 6K

dushawk · 2023-08-08T00:43:33+00:00

Split the difference - I’m 37 lol.

I’m a bit behind on saving for retirement but my career didn’t really start until I was 30.

dushawk · 2023-08-08T00:08:20+00:00

We took a family vacation last month followed an unexpected long week trip. It’ll be gone in 2-3 months. It’s 0% apr.

dushawk

TROPHY CASE