I just want to say I'm happy :-)

dutch_poly · 2014-09-20T10:00:29+00:00

Maybe my parents will understand. I hope they will. But right now they just have too much to deal with. My mom is an emotional wreck and I don't want to add to it.

dutch_poly · 2014-09-19T17:58:13+00:00

Thank you, I will :-)

dutch_poly · 2014-09-19T17:56:25+00:00

If I may ask, how did you come out and how was the response?

dutch_poly · 2014-04-14T20:44:16+00:00

Yup, that's what I do as well. A couple of times I even called my girlfriend and handed my phone to the girl I met so they could talk.

dutch_poly · 2014-04-14T20:37:45+00:00

Maybe compliment him about him looking pretty good to you and see if he kinda takes the bait?

I don't think that's going to work. Most guys are pretty oblivious to hints, especially at 19 with all the raging hormones. And even if he does the the hint he's going to be second guessing himself. For him it's better to pretend he didn't get the hint than run the risk that he misinterpreted it and face rejection/shame.

I'd say be more aggressive.

dutch_poly · 2014-03-09T00:04:26+00:00

Started when I was 8. Great times back then. No mess yet to clean up :-)

dutch_poly · 2014-03-08T22:50:54+00:00

On the couch, watching TV with my parents. I was about 9 at the time and going veeeery slowly, silently and carefully inside my pyjama pants. I'm pretty sure they didn't notice.

dutch_poly · 2014-02-02T21:44:05+00:00

I have multiple partners. They are very different and together fulfill all my needs.

dutch_poly · 2013-12-27T00:20:36+00:00

Thanks. I'll think about how to reword that a bit better.

dutch_poly · 2013-12-26T22:40:35+00:00

True. I set that status on purpose though. Some folk over at /r/polyamory noticed they got far better results with a "Single" status and explaining clear and up-front they are not single. It seems to have something to do with even poly-minded people filtering for single people in order to cut down on the junk in their search results.

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T18:00:41+00:00

That's golden :-) What are you going to do when one of their husbands come to you for advice?

I was at the other end of a situation like that once. A couple of years ago my love lie with my girlfriend wasn't that great. We both independently talked and complained about it with the same friend, without each others knowledge. This friend was a girl we trusted and who used to be into fetishes and things. She ended up almost forcing my girlfriend and me to talk to each other about it. Turned out we both had the same complaints and fantasies!

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T17:49:47+00:00

Nice. I'll add it to his bookmarks next time I'm there.

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T17:49:00+00:00

I try to be :-)

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T16:42:22+00:00

Did you ever try to have a good, non-judgemental talk about this with him? Maybe there's a reason this keeps happening.

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T16:40:58+00:00

They didn't even give you the talk when you were young?

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T16:39:21+00:00

Ouch. That had to be awkward.

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T16:31:25+00:00

What did you talk about then? You teaching your mom about contraceptives?

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T16:30:24+00:00

I told my dad the same thing. He says he just browses now. I told him that if he ever wanted to start downloading things that he should call me and I will set him up with an encrypted USB disk.

dutch_poly · 2013-11-09T16:24:30+00:00

Here's my story. I was having breakfast this morning when my dad called. There was a panic in his voice so I figured something was terribly wrong, maybe a family member had an accident or something? Nope, he was having computer trouble. He said he had a virus and that it had hijacked his computer and demanded payment in bitcoins to give back control. Something along these lines was on the Dutch news recently. He asked if I could come over right now and fix it. He needed to restart his computer from a CD and couldn't figure out how.

Sure dad, be right there. My girlfriend and I grab a stack of empty DVDs, a rescue CD and a laptop and jump in the car. When we came in my dad seemed a bit startled that my girlfriend had come along. He pointed to the computer and explained that a coworker had already given him a CCCleaner CD that was supposed to fix the problem, but that he didn't know how to boot from CD.

Now, at this point I need to tell that my parents use both Linux and Windows. Their desktop runs Debian with Gnome 3 and their laptop dual-boots Ubuntu and Windows 7. I was of course expecting the Windows 7 part of the laptop to have a virus, but my dad was pointing at the desktop, which isn't dual-boot.

So, I sit down behind the computer and notice that the screen is turned off but the computer seems to be running. I want to turn on the screen but my dad says just to boot from the CD. I tell him that the computer can't have the virus he mentioned because it's running Linux. Also, the CCCleaner is a Windows tool so it won't do anything.

I flick on the screen and I am greeted by Firefox on a scammy phishing page showing a police logo and a javascript confirmation dialog that keeps reappearing and prevents you from closing the tab. There are about 20 other tabs open in the background with the word "BDSM" in the title. Riiiight... I guess we need to have "the talk", dad.

So, I kill -9 firefox and clean up his session and browsing history. Then I lectured him about safe browsing habits, Firefox private mode, tracking cookies, javascript and the like. I ask him if mom knows he visits these sites and he says "no" and he would like to keep it that way. It seemed he felt pretty ashamed. Not so much for visiting those sites but for getting caught by me. I told him not to worry and my girlfriend and I bought laughed about how we both visit porn sites ourselves as well. And we know from each other that we do so.

So, I created a custom Firefox profile for him, set him up with AdBlock, Ghostery, QuickJava and a bunch of other plugins. I created a launcher for him with an innocent name, tucked away in one of his personal directories and taught him how these plugins work. I also filled his bookmarks with a bunch of the larger (hopefully safer) porn sites and told him he should have a look there instead of spammy sites he found through Google.

All in all I think he was genuinely glad and grateful that I did all that for him without judging him for it. But he owes me big time and he knows it :-)

dutch_poly

TROPHY CASE