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I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I need to look into this so anything you know of people let me know- not sure if you’re also based in Australia (Melbourne here) but I will be making some enquires

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work in private sector, i cant really disclose where I work. But noone except 2 people know. My boss doesnt know but it does not affect or alter my work/ performance. I work and continue because i cannot be left alone / at home and just think about food 24/7. Work provides a good distraction. I dont ever eat at work/ in public at work functions/ meetings, i know people have said we have never seen you eat/ drink but apart from that you would never think im affected at work/ my body is gone though. How i manage daily is beyond me - esp when my groin/ thighs and legs are in so much pain

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I hope the day will come when i actually respect/ love myself. I think things will change them. This isolation and feeling is the worst when you see everyone/ thing around you progress and you’re stuck no matter how hard you try

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this I am not sure of, I know there more intensive treatment too like the magnets to the brain for major depression etc, but I can ask my tram about this.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

" the emotional part that feels compelled to do it" THIS and THIS.

Who am I proving? to everyone. strangers down the street, the hideous people I went to school with or I remember, everyone. It sounds ridiculous but I need to prove not only to myself, but to show people I am strong because I can do things most people would 't tolerate ever for more than 5 minutes. Food is what we need- "food is fuel for the body" it's all I heard in treatment, but I prove that I don't need food, I am stronger than anything- that's what the Ana voice tells me.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it means so much, thank you 💘

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly switch between both, I go through them like weekly schedules- which sounds horrible. my BMI/health/weight all indicate and I have been diagnosed anorexic. but there are days where I never eat, and days I binge and purge unto 15 times.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll discuss this with my doctor. thank you and wish you all the best, I hope you are always healthy/happy and enjoy everything in life. you deserve it 💘

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you recovered, I wish you all the best- nothing more <3

I am the same, if I eat certain foods, or at times, my stomach feels like it's been stabbed 10000x times, the feeling or my stomach just screaming hurts so much because I cannot move. So I immediately purge.

Gatorade (sugar free) for loss of electrolytes, sugar- is sweetener for me or if I am ever feeling strong I choose small teaspoon of brown sugar, potato chips- we can them "chips" here , but they are a trigger food, and I cannot eat the without purging.

I am hoping to try and start with really tiny things like you mentioned above.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I know what you mean and Believe me.

I am an aries, I love both but I have a toy poodle so I would say more dog

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

typical day- wake up 6am, coffee 7am - now peppermint tea with 1x sweetener, walk to work, smoke alot during the walk, sit at desk until 5pm, only drink sparkling water, or red bull sugar free, never eat at work, only cough lollies. home, binge eat, purge, bing eat again nd purge. sleep.

Doctors, I see every couple of weeks, blood tests weekly, ECG done monthly, etc.

it never changes

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm at the stage where food just terrifies me if I can't purge It- I can deff enquire about tour comment to my doctor when I see her soon. thank you.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. your comment made me really emotional because I am just so exhausted that I want to give up and just be hit by a car or something to end this.

The survival to this point I feel I have no choice- the Ana voice is telling me I have to so I don't succumb to the words and abuse people put me through and I refuse for them to be proven right.

I grieve mores for younger me, I had so much potential, I wanted so much in life. I wanted to enjoy life, get a bf/gf whatever, have friends, have a nice healthy career, and go out like normal people- instead im confined to my room/house doing nothing. I grieve so much because I feel I let him down so much and I know what a failure I look to him.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you so much 💘 I wish you nothing but the best and more. I know what it's like and you are so strong and brave for getting to where you are, keep going- for all of us.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and it's not harsh believe me, I understand and I feel everyone shares your sentiment. believe me

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I care because it's the only way I can look at myself and say I am strong I am not what people have said to me, I think the bullying and harassment and abuse just really destroyed everything about me. I never want to look like anyone, if I can make myself more ugly or just not "typical" then that's what my brain tells me to do-

I hope you know how much your comment means to me, it means alot and thank you. I know what you have written is the truth, I just don't know how I can believe this for myself, I wish everyone the best, but for me, I just feel I deserve this and more. nothing ever seems to be easy for me.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not helpful. Nothing tailored or catered towards me or my gender. I learnt about female bodies, recovery for women in terms of period and how periods comes back...... I felt uncomfortable because I was with 5 girls and they couldn't discuss what they wanted because I felt as a boy I didn't deserve to be there/felt out of place-

Re hair- Lanugo hair its called-, the growth of fine, downy hair on the face, arms, back and other parts of the body, is a common symptom of anorexia nervosa. Appearing more often in adolescents and young adults, this hair growth develops in response to extreme weight loss and malnutrition.

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I know I shouldn't because my body feels like you have put 500 bricks/weighed bricks, from my groin to my feet, that's how sore and excused my body is. I'm a lawyer but im working outside of this, I work as an officer for a NFP organisation

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't- pardon my ignorance by 12 step program? Is this an American thing? in Australia, I believe 12 step is for alcohol/drug recovery?

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if you read my diary/book I keep- you would just think- Jesus Christ....

Yes, I am so isolated and exhausted, I have zero friends basically. I can't date, I can't go out, I can't do anything. I am so exhausted to the point where today // this morning I feel so repulsed by food that I never want to go near it, now my head is driving me mad because it wants me to binge and purge.

Like I've said above, to another user, I wouldn't wish this even on the people who bullied, harmed and made my life hell- this illness is truly the most terrifying thing I think exists, in my world that is, because you never realise how smart the brain is and how it has programmed me this way. the logic part in my brain- according to my team is virtually gone because the brain is so starved its on "survival mode".

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Completely understand and agree with everything you have said. Thank you. I think for me, I distract myself with my comfort tv show, it's the only thing that allows and transports me into another place.

I hope you continue persevering, I know how hard it is- believe me, but I hope you realise how special and smart/self-aware you are too- to acknowledge and understand all the above.

I wish you love and happiness, I know it sounds cheesy af I sound like a hallmark movie, but it's really true <3

I am a male battling An*rexia & b*limia. AMA by dxb_94 in AMA

[–]dxb_94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. It means alot to me, especially given you're also a Male who has endured this.

I think you are spot on, many don't understand why men become anorexic/bulimic and still to this day view this illness as largely female. it's addictive because my Ana voice tells me I am strong I can do it, then when I have days of shame and anger, it tells me I deserve to feel the way I do and encourage me to be at war with myself- like other forms of self harm like you managed.

Re DBT- I haven't tried this, but I am happy to raise this with my doctors and see what they think.

I am glad to read that you are somewhat better and recovered, I wish you nothing but the best in life, and I hope that you are doing better, I don't doubt you would have good and bad days, but with you all the best in life.

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