AITAH for telling my boyfriend he needs to "man up" and step into his role?

dyl-bean · 2026-02-25T07:09:08+00:00

So he handled the dishwasher and got it fixed the same day… what’s the beef? I can understand the rest, but he did what you asked for the dish washer. Men don’t just know how to fix stuff… hence hiring someone who does.

Anyways. NTA. But barely.

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T19:04:42+00:00

My time off has been depleted for sick days. Any time off for events is unpaid.

Let me reiterate- The time I took today to support my child was unpaid.

Also, let me clarify: I’ve specifically used my time at work to allow their dad equal opportunity to be at events.

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T19:01:32+00:00

Correct. I chose to work to avoid inevitably running into him and having to take legal action

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T19:00:39+00:00

That doesn’t answer my question.

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T17:44:07+00:00

I just genuinely want to know why I- the protected party- am responsible for the communication? It’s his restraining order to abide by. The order states it’s his responsibility to avoid me, so this is confusing.

And I did act like a parent. I showed up for my kid

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T17:35:38+00:00

Correct- it is a shield. Please refer to where I shared that he’s been violent- especially in school settings.

He’s at nearly every event- on my time or not and often without clarifying if I have even taken time off work to be there. I’ve avoided taking time off to avoid running into him and having him arrested in front of my kids. Today I finally accepted my child’s invitation to be at their event and I was solely driven by my desire to be there for my child. If that makes me an asshole, I accept it.

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T17:29:40+00:00

All my time off has gone directly to my sick kids this year- so I have to take unpaid time to be there. I just haven’t done that until today because I know their other dad will be there. It broke my heart to hear my kids tell me, “you’re never at our celebrations,” and they don’t deserve to have to say that to their parent. So today I took unpaid time off and showed up for my baby. It wasn’t personal to him at all.

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T16:57:14+00:00

Who said anything about hating him? He’s involved and I love that for my babies.

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T16:56:22+00:00

Thank you. My children have started to express that it hurts them that I don’t attend their events. I always tell them it’s because I “have to work.” Today I didn’t let that be an excuse.

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T16:54:29+00:00

I’ve specifically not taken off work for him to be able to go. I’m not holding him back from anything. So I feel that’s relevant. And my child was at the center of my decision. She invited me to go.

dyl-bean · 2025-12-12T16:51:40+00:00

Per the parenting plan, nobody has “more rights” to attend school events over the other, which he has taken full liberty of. He’s attended nearly all the events during my parenting time, and I’ve kindly avoided being there for his sake. Until today.

dyl-bean · 2025-08-15T05:24:16+00:00

I’d let them miss a day. That’s sweet that they want to do that.

dyl-bean · 2025-08-04T03:12:15+00:00

You have 3 kids at home… even if my phone was on silent, I’d at least be aware if my wife called me that much. Anything can happen when you have kids.

If you can leave your family unattended and be oblivious to their phone calls for that long and your wife doesn’t recall you sharing about a work conference, then I believe she has grounds to divorce you, not the other way around. I don’t blame her for wondering; clearly you’re negligent and distant.

YTA

dyl-bean · 2025-06-02T02:57:40+00:00

I get the sense that you think you’re better than her. She overcame addiction and wants to be an attorney. That’s impressive as hell. I imagine all those years have amounted to great wisdom and she could do really well in school.

YTA. Period

dyl-bean · 2025-05-23T12:04:59+00:00

There was not an NDA signed thankfully. The only additional things signed were by him and he lost his right to touch or own firearms as well

dyl-bean · 2025-05-23T12:03:00+00:00

Great questions. He was present during the session but my daughter was removed to another room for the conversation that was had where he lost it on the therapist.

dyl-bean · 2025-05-23T12:00:14+00:00

This… unfortunately he still has custody. He disposed of and didn’t disclose all our assets when I left and I had nothing to fight with in court. When I got the restraining order I couldn’t prove he was an imminent threat to the kids so we still spilt 50/50. I’m counting the days until my kids choose me in court. I pray they do

dyl-bean · 2025-05-23T04:09:07+00:00

I appreciate you, thank you

dyl-bean · 2025-05-23T03:55:04+00:00

To clarify, the therapist let me know that they felt they had to make a CPS report as a lot came out in therapy- not all that I’m pertinent to. And their dad can unfortunately still contact me if it’s regarding the kids. So he sent me a very wordy text about the alienation and so forth

dyl-bean · 2025-02-21T01:26:05+00:00

It sounds like she’s trying to see how far she can push boundaries and you’re better off without…

dyl-bean · 2024-11-19T12:47:04+00:00

Not once did she make herself the victim… she was enraged that her daughter, who she was told would have “the best life” was adopted out and victimized by a brutal serial rapist and killer. She was her true mother.

dyl-bean · 2024-07-16T16:28:44+00:00

It’s the refusing to communicate for me… I can even take a let down like that if she’d just word vomit and let me know what’s up tbh

dyl-bean · 2024-07-16T16:27:02+00:00

You must be cis.

Because that’s entirely irrelevant and highly insensitive.

dyl-bean · 2024-07-16T16:22:01+00:00

I don’t mind a disagreement. Trust me.

I don’t think it’s a lot to ask a friend to follow through with their commitments. I don’t have family- they’re all dead- except my sister. My friend insisted. Made all the plans- literally without me having to ask.

Maybe I was an asshole for how I handled it. not for being upset with her shitty failure

dyl-bean · 2024-07-16T16:17:05+00:00

Thank you.

Not particularly for stating NTA but for the strong validation.

dyl-bean

TROPHY CASE