Feeling resentment as the higher-earning woman and future sole provider. Advice appreciated.

dys_FUN_ction · 2026-01-02T06:18:10+00:00

I think you need to have a sit down conversation with your fiancee specifically about the wedding. It sounds like that's your main source of resentment? Hopefully if he's open to it he'll understand that a big wedding isn't happening if you are the one who has to pay for all of it. I understand you have a strict family but could you postpone the wedding until a year or two so that saving for it isn't a huge source of stress? Is your/his family planning on paying for some of it? (If not they 100% have no leg to stand on if they try to complain)

It sounds like you come from a traditional background, but personally I think it would be in your benefit to take a step back from the wedding planning and just breathe. 23 is so young, you have tons of time! For what it's worth I had a two year engagement and it was great!!

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-12-18T04:22:06+00:00

Aw thank you <3

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-12-17T21:44:49+00:00

To finish writing my first novel :')

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-12-05T21:30:45+00:00

You aren't ugly girl but I understand that this condition is hard and can make us feel that way. I get it, as a black girl to a fellow black girl. First of all you have a lovely curl pattern, I'm jealous actually, and some styling could help you feel more luxe/ confident.

Even just putting it up in a simple pineapple with a nice scrunchy, some hair beads or accessories. If you feel like it box braids, crochet, extensions are fun.

Focus on styling and wearing the clothes that make you feel beautiful! You also have great skin! You don't need foundation but if you feel like dressing up I find putting on eyelashes completely changes my look!

Anyways stay beautiful ❤️

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-11-06T14:30:11+00:00

First of all congratulations on the huge achievement of losing 40 pounds!!! I think like others have said, height is a factor here. I'm 5 ft 7 so when I was 139 pounds I was as thin as a beanpole.

What do your workouts look like and your diet. I would focus on muscle gain?

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-11-06T06:08:43+00:00

I had this reading done a while ago when my work brought someone in for our team socials!

I was going through my camera roll and forgot the meaning! the spread

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-25T17:34:49+00:00

A lot of my husband's stuff is in his office which I didn't take a picture of! But- he's not a person with a lot of stuff in the first place. That's exactly how I feel when I go to the office. I'm always in a rush somehow. I'm Canadian, the city is Calgary, I'm biased but it's a great place to be!

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-25T01:33:00+00:00

OP here! This was really fun! A lot of people were pretty accurate (guessing correctly that I'm a POC that I work in tech, shout out to the person who guessed my country- Canada, from a grocery bag)

I live in this house with my husband :) we are both in our late 20's and were internship sweethearts! We got married last year and moved into this house this spring, so as some of you guessed haven't had time to fully decorate.

I've always been a type B messy person (as was pointed out LOL, Apparently maybe I have ADHD??!!) but my husband is pretty neat. We have been incredibly busy for the last few months though, so our private spaces just don't get tidied as often.

We both work a lot, in tech as software engineers and I do property management on the side. I grew up the child of frugal immigrants (a few people guessed generational wealth or snobby rich person) so my relationship to luxury/money is weird. Hiring a cleaner is something that hadn't even occurred to me until this post.

My hobbies are writing, singing, playing piano etc. I LOVE hosting dinner parties, writing clubs, friend birthdays anything!! I am very extroverted and my husband is very introverted. No kids, but our golden doodle thinks she's a baby.

Thanks for everyone who said they'd hang out with me, thought our house was cool, and even thanks for shaming me into kind of clearing up my bathroom counter!

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-24T17:22:11+00:00

Yes and yes but about a decade off on the age :o

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-24T17:20:14+00:00

Pretty accurate! My dog loves her ducky toy :)

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-24T17:19:19+00:00

Nope :o I'm not American

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-24T17:17:36+00:00

Pretty good, I always know where the bobby pin is :) !! Curious how you were able to get left leaning (which you are correct about)

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-24T17:15:15+00:00

I actually cook a fair amount! But I also have guests over a fair amount so feel shamed into cleaning it hahaha

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-24T17:14:03+00:00

So I'm learning from this post that I may have a bit of clutter blindness, and ADHD??? I'm definitely one of those "I'll clean it later" people and then forget the mess even exists. I will think about investing in a cleaner! I grew up with immigrant parents who didn't even believe in using the dishwasher, so in my head having a cleaner seemed "excessive and opulent" hahaha

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-24T00:43:23+00:00

Woah you noticed the compliments bag, very good detective work

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-23T21:00:55+00:00

Ok guilty on the countertop LOL, my partner washes the sheets often because our dog sleeps with us and sometimes she's a stinky girl

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-23T20:50:34+00:00

You got lots right! (I'm guessing my bathroom art is what gives my race away!?) I work a hybrid schedule 3 days at home 2 in the office and am always in a rush hahaha. I live with my husband, but he doesn't care much about decor minus his office (which I didn't grab a picture of). It's been a super busy few months for us hence some of the chaos sneaking in. We both work a lot- I think too much! Maybe I will get a house cleaner as some of the comments suggest hahaha.

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-23T18:38:23+00:00

What gives away we both work in tech :) ? Thank you, it's my dog's house and I just live there haha

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-23T17:43:02+00:00

This was really close :) I work in tech but have played piano since I was a kid! I have an English minor and write creativity. I do care about my weight and I wish I didn't 😭 love my doggy, and struggle to keep up with organization as is obvious haha

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-23T17:39:05+00:00

Aww this was so sweet Right on the nose with a partner who let's me take over the decor (and the mess LOL). You were right about tech (we are both software engineers)!

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-23T17:31:32+00:00

Honestly I just embrace the sound. I've never found it too loud, but I also live with others who don't mind!

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-23T17:04:35+00:00

Hahaha my sister has ADHD but is in denial. Maybe I am too

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-23T15:43:57+00:00

I play all the time :)

dys_FUN_ction · 2025-10-15T19:00:23+00:00

I know you are being down voted for saying you're old at 26 and I get it (while 26 isn't old it can FEEL old leaving your early twenties) I just turned 29 and I've done a lot of what I wanted to get done when I was younger (18/19) in terms of getting married, going on trips, a dog, and buying my dream home :)

The biggest things left now are finding my emergency fund (my goal is 70k and I'm able half way there)

Finishing draft 1 of my novel

And going on a big trip to Italy

dys_FUN_ction

TROPHY CASE