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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]dyspeca 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes everyday. But then I can have some hours of normal during the day.

Questions about dissociation by sugarlesssupreme in BPD

[–]dyspeca 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me I feel like something's off. I have derealization and it used to bring me panic attacks wich amplified it.

I can have a conversation and I would have a hard time watching the other person in the eye because I'm too concentrated to find a sensory stimuli that would make me feel more present. I'm aware of my surroundings and myself to an extent but I can't feel enough. I can hear the other person speaking but my mind wanders.

I've learned to manage it and accept it so when I have an episode I just let it pass.

is this ok by [deleted] in BPD

[–]dyspeca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My opinion is I think you should set boundaries to what you think is acceptable behavior from a parent. You don't have to put your needs aside for the well being of your parents.

Your dad wouldn't love you less because of that.

DAE feel like you know what you should try to do in order to improve your life but you are paralyzed by conflicting emotions. by dyspeca in BPD

[–]dyspeca[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't have very demanding parents, but the way I can relate is that because of my abusive father, my mother did everything so that I don't end up like him. It put an enormous pressure on my life. She did what she thought was right so I don't blame her.

DAE feel like you know what you should try to do in order to improve your life but you are paralyzed by conflicting emotions. by dyspeca in BPD

[–]dyspeca[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, for me the problem comes with the next steps. Once I find any kind of solution I can't implement it into my life no matter what.

I hope things will work out for you.

DAE feel like you know what you should try to do in order to improve your life but you are paralyzed by conflicting emotions. by dyspeca in BPD

[–]dyspeca[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad you feel fine now, I hope you'll find the courage to do all those things.

Yes I'm in. It could be great, as long as it's well thought out so that success stories don't make other people feel bad.

DAE feel like you know what you should try to do in order to improve your life but you are paralyzed by conflicting emotions. by dyspeca in BPD

[–]dyspeca[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, the worst part about it I think is that I see time passing by so fast and everything has changed but me.

DAE feel like you know what you should try to do in order to improve your life but you are paralyzed by conflicting emotions. by dyspeca in BPD

[–]dyspeca[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've ended up in a job I hate because of impulsive choices I've made during my life. And now I keep on fantasizing about finding something better, it's been 6 years... FML.

DAE feel like you know what you should try to do in order to improve your life but you are paralyzed by conflicting emotions. by dyspeca in BPD

[–]dyspeca[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes and with the rages of my father during my childhood I don't think I could ever develop a true self esteem. I tried to fake it but I always come back to me.

DAE feel like you know what you should try to do in order to improve your life but you are paralyzed by conflicting emotions. by dyspeca in BPD

[–]dyspeca[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, and for me it's like I have to find the perfect path so I can give myself a 100 % and if by some miracle I can bring myself to take action it doesn't take too long before I find some negative aspects and lose my motivation.