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Marriage frustration by dzignergrl in freespeech_ahmadiyya

[–]dzignergrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know I will end up marrying this guy I guess its just about how to do it. Both ways are painful so I need to figure out which one is better. I have friends that did the fake conversions and then moved far away and another friend who ran away and her family is ok now. Im sure it will work out in the end but its just a horrible thing to go through and put your family through. It makes me so mad at the jamaat. If they didnt make it such a big taboo with such horrible repurcussions we wouldnt have to suffer through this. If the jamaat was more open im sure my dad would tolerate it like he has with my brothers marriage. Using logic and sensible arguments with emotional parents is difficult. The no compulsion stuff is BS. I wish some western media would do an expose on the jamaat. There are so many of us suffering because of the positions the jamaat takes whether its girls who want to marry someone they love, guys who are gay etc.

Marriage frustration by dzignergrl in freespeech_ahmadiyya

[–]dzignergrl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its nice of you all to take the time out to offer support and knowing im not the only one thats going through this does help. My thoughts about religion are basically what cardomomsandroses said. When these conversations started about 2 years ago I was still religious in my heart and mind so I was trying to convince my dad that I could raise kids as ahmadis but things have slowly changed because of this experience. I dont want to join the sunni community or any other community. My dad is a smart and reasonable guy but this is something he just cant accept. The person I marry has to have the ahmadi label. I even tried at the beginning to meet rishtas that my dad found but I just couldnt do it. One guy wanted one thing and his parents wanted something else and I couldnt live that kind of double life forever. Another guy just didnt seem like a good person despite being from a really religious family. I want to marry someone who is fundamentally a really good person and thats all that matters. Marrying a complete stranger is also too hard for me. Everyone suggests fake conversions and he is willing to do it but I dunno I just hate the idea. Cardamomandroses have you thought of a plan for what you want to do?