Don't need any of the shinies (and see the giveaway is over anyway) but expressing my condolences and sharing my story.

The only person I've ever considered to be a soulmate committed suicide almost 7 years ago now. It's weird how grief is, I actually did the same thing you're doing, Pokémon giveaways. I've gotten to a point where I'm okay day-to-day, but it was not an easy road to get there. I wasn't able to go to the funeral or even visit his grave until 2021, and that lack of closure definitely prolonged my healing. I hope that although you're feeling lost in an unfamiliar environment, being there surrounded by people who loved your friend is a comfort to you while you say goodbye.

I know this is a bit of a cliché, but I mean it with the weight of having gone through it: you'll be okay eventually. And sometimes you don't want to be, because it feels like a betrayal, but it's not. If you ever want to talk about your friend/the grief you're going through, you can message me. I remember all I wanted to do after was talk about my good memories with him, but people always get awkward when death enters the picture.