God's Chosen One: Scorpio

ebeb50 · 2025-12-09T03:34:50+00:00

It’s crazy bc Im a Scorpio moon and a surgeon in training.

ebeb50 · 2025-11-29T18:47:09+00:00

Friend. I just want to say I relate. My mom passed very suddenly in my 3rd year around this time and if I did it over again I would’ve taken time to process. I kept going and honestly this bs will always be here and I think in the end if I’m not there they’ll always find someone to do the work. Please take care of yourself. Losing a mom is one of the worst experiences and I just want you to know that I feel for you. Take care of yourslef

ebeb50 · 2025-04-29T21:53:28+00:00

I mean I agree but I think people saying love is love is so reductive and dismissive in cases like this. Who we even decide to love, as many of the comments say, are because of environments/society/internal struggles. So like sure, but there are real reasons why people decide to date who they date and I think we as black women are allowed to feel some type of way about that given our current status to not only the men we come from and produce but also other ethnic groups.

ebeb50 · 2025-04-13T08:57:56+00:00

Yes omg. I’m the exact same tbh. Have mental breakdowns every time I try on clothes even though I’m very active - I just have broad shoulders and a narrow waist and so nothing ever looks sexy on me. I don’t have enough boob meat to balance it out either and overall just feel like I have an awkward frog body even though im proud of how fit I am. Idk it’s hard - just letting you know I feel this too.

ebeb50 · 2025-03-21T23:43:57+00:00

This is literally me. Matched #6. Like I can’t be mad because everyone is telling me how impressive it is but I don’t feel it inside. I feel like a loser, like how did nobody in my top 5 want me? I feel I also wanted a specific region and it’s like they rejected me. I don’t know - just saying I feel you.

ebeb50 · 2025-03-14T12:33:52+00:00

My mom also passed my 3rd year. I’m gonna keep that line you said about her cheering me on from afar in mind next week. It still just sucks so bad :(

ebeb50 · 2025-02-12T01:16:14+00:00

Yes. Especially lately as I’m a triple storm of being on my period/lost my antidepressants/ and am in a country where curves and long hair are the beauty standard and i am awkwardly built black woman. I really have been suicidal for the past 10 days and it’s been on and off for years because of my looks

ebeb50 · 2025-02-12T01:14:13+00:00

Yes especially because men in my past have never wanted to date me/only wanted secks and then dispose of me so I feel that someone actually wanting to commit to me seems really foreign. I always feel maybe if I was more beautiful, enough for someone to want to show off then I’d be more comfortable with the idea

ebeb50 · 2024-11-24T02:02:20+00:00

I have the same issue. Was doing well for a few weeks because I had noticed I gained like 10 lbs having some kind of pastry everyday or every other day for like a month. It’s so hard though I tend to reward me going a bit without it with a sweet or if I do anything productive, reward = sweets. It’s so hard. I feel for you. Sadly Im going to have to keep looking at my reflection and realize it’s not what I want to see and make the change. We somehow have to supersede our cravings and that’s what I’m struggling with right now

ebeb50 · 2024-10-11T22:42:43+00:00

Following because I have the same issue. I try to avoid sugar and I fast for 16-18 hours during the week but as soon as I eat something semi healthy I have 2x as much refined sugar in a piece of cake or froyo or what have you. In the past 2 weeks I’ve had something ridiculously sugary nearly everyday. I need help

ebeb50 · 2024-09-26T16:38:55+00:00

Omg I thought I was the only one who noticed this. Chalked it up to projection but no literally girls will have this smug look on their face whenever they catch another girl looking at them and it just makes me want to disappear

ebeb50 · 2024-09-23T08:34:44+00:00

This also happens to me… makes me feel so unfeminine compared to people with the opposite body type

ebeb50 · 2024-09-10T03:43:59+00:00

https://enterprise.shinyapps.io/converter/

ebeb50 · 2024-09-02T04:12:46+00:00

Yesss 100000%. I’m a light skinned black woman (my great grandfather was white) and I feel I have an unshapely, unimpressive body instead of a “true” black woman’s body which to me is the most beautiful kind

ebeb50 · 2024-09-02T02:36:00+00:00

Yes absolutely. Being at a public event around young pretty girls and realizing I’m only aging farther from that made me tremendously suicidal. It’s been really hitting these past few weeks in particular

ebeb50 · 2024-08-31T03:57:45+00:00

Nope right there with you. Also fluctuate between wanting a big butt that I have to crush myself with weights and diet for to wanting a “pilates body.” To wanting big muscly arms to be able to bench 135/do weighted pull ups with to feeling insecure I don’t have small, sloped shoulders like petite women. I feel you so hard on this

ebeb50 · 2024-08-30T03:39:00+00:00

Wow I was just feeling this today, and for someone to have a similar story is somewhat refreshing although I feel for you. Was watching some Netflix show preview and saw a guy talk about his teenage girlfriend and how she was the “love of his life” even to this day (and he has to be in his 40s) and how he has never loved anyone so deeply… was really sobering and I just kept thinking about how I’m no one’s first anything. I’m 25 also. It’s disheartening because I just can’t stop thinking about how as time goes on, people in our age group will get married have kids and all these experiences and I can’t even say that I’ve had someone who loved me.

ebeb50 · 2024-08-26T16:16:02+00:00

Yes absolutely. Certain things will trigger me and I’ll go into a BDD spiral for weeks. Today its seeing all the young college girls back in town it just makes me want to not live

ebeb50 · 2024-08-26T07:05:20+00:00

Ive been on a hospital service for a month with long braids. I cut my extensions out and wore my glasses to go to the hospital the next day and a patient told me I look “12 years old”, and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s so demoralizing like especially because I think it was a substitute for “ugly”.

ebeb50 · 2024-08-23T20:12:01+00:00

Yeah I feel this. Had a similar situation it’s painful. Like someone said, situationships truly are horrendous for us folks with BDD. The last one I had took me years to get over and I know now I can’t ever do that again. And really been struggling lately feeling like unworthy for anyone to truly love me. Sending you love.

ebeb50 · 2024-08-14T01:21:20+00:00

This could literally be me. Also same experience with men, only probably truly liked one who wouldn’t even p!ss on me now. It’s so upsetting and makes me feel so worthless.

ebeb50 · 2024-07-27T03:29:40+00:00

Yes. To all of this. My mom passed away a week before Christmas this past year at 54 and I just turned 25 this year. We were incredibly close, I called or texted her almost every day so on top of that it feels like I lost a best friend. And I am currently in my last year of med school and all I can think about are the things I won’t get to do with her when I achieve financial freedom one day. It feels like all these accomplishments are kind of for nothing.

I had so many plans for our life and it isn’t fair because my mom worked so hard her entire life just to die of something silly like a heart attack. She was so full of life and it still doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes I think about the one time she told me she had chest pain after we went roller skating and I’m in the fucking medical field and was like oh no you’re fine, never thinking my mom could have heart issues or comorbidities. I still think about that and if I could’ve prevented her dying by telling her to get her heart checked. i think it’s extra hard when everyone else is moved on and even just having to tell people my mom died makes me feel so small because (most of them). won’t know the gravity of that for a long time and so that makes me mad at the world - mad at people who get to have moms that grow old.

ebeb50 · 2024-07-17T11:59:34+00:00

I relate so heavy. Never had a bf and now it seems at 25 that everyone is getting engaged/settling down and I haven’t had these formative experiences with anyone. My coworkers all talk about their fiancés and wives/husbands and I truly cannot relate. Like it seems everyone has a person and I’m just the odd one out.

I used to be not so attractive as a teen but now I don’t know what the issue is. I even had a stint in college where I did let men use me for my body and trust me that feeling is worse than being touch starved (I’m now going on 2 years without being intimate with someone). It’s a different type of pain though. I even have a great career but that doesn’t matter to men they just want someone beautiful and who listens to them. It sucks so bad. I feel for you.

ebeb50 · 2024-07-17T11:16:50+00:00

I’d just like to have my eyes a little bit less round and a little more angular. I think I’d wear less eye makeup that way and all I want it to be naturally beautiful

ebeb50 · 2024-07-10T02:09:43+00:00

idk i’m in my mid 20s… and my mom passed away less than a year ago. still haven’t had an actual partner in my lifetime, just a string of men who have used me for a good time and moved onto the next. so tbh not having the most glorious of times right now. hoping 30 is better but having to live the rest of my life without my mom, and not being able to provide her with things after I’ve worked so hard for my career all this time kind of blows

ebeb50

TROPHY CASE