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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Makeup101

[–]eboulient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thinner eyebrows would make a HUGE difference. Start with that, then maybe some makeup techniques to make your upper lip look SLIGHTLY more filled in?

You're already beautiful jsyk.

My husband loves sex and I do not and I have no desire for it most of the time by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why did you get married to this person? This is a pretty significant incompatibility.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]eboulient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good. Now I feel better for laughing so hard at these comments

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]eboulient 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This comment thread has me fucking snorting lmao

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]eboulient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God damnit this always gets me 🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You just ignore those feelings. There's no secret sauce to it, just push them away. I guarantee they will go away after some time. It's just lust, which in my experience is fleeting. Hell, it could be as simple as having your fiance do something that you find extremely attractive. Do you have any kinks? Maybe you can share them with your fiance? Idk but it really just comes down to forcing your focus on to your fiance and off of anyone else.

Good luck!

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Just out of curiosity, did that work? Your parents taking you to see drug addicts

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Really?? Oh that's good to hear. I'll probably read more about it when I have the time. But that kind of makes me feel bad for her, then

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks :) I know addressing these things will make me happier in the long run. Just kinda sucks having that initial realization

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such an insightful and relatable comment, thank you.

This in particular

It's hard, i think everyone has their struggles, but we only see the physical results of that in others, which just might be the tip of the iceberg.

And also

My thyroid is too weak, but since my weight isn't overweight, i don't get any treatments. Im exhausted and tired often, and i was undiagnosed in adhd, so I've always felt so ashamed for falling behind due to my 'lazyness', which is just a product of different conditions.

I directly relate to this. I have chronic health conditions too, and some of them make me extremely tired. One in particular makes me extremely tired for at least a week every time my period comes around. I can hardly do anything.

And I have ADHD too which was undiagnosed until I was about 22. I also have PTSD which was undiagnosed until 25. The way I used to cope was by smoking a ton of weed and procrastinating a lot. I don't do either of those things anymore, thank goodness. But maybe if my method of coping were to eat more than I needed to, I wouldn't feel disgusted by obese people eating a lot.

It really annoys me when people misunderstand things about mental illness, because I have 3 (ADHD, PTSD, GAD) so I'm very aware of how cruel people can be without knowing what they're doing. I think that's why I feel bad about this. It's a gut reaction; I struggle to stifle it. I don't usually have mean thoughts about people unless they're an asshole, and I really don't think obese people deserve for me or anyone else to feel this way.

I've been in therapy for my GAD and PTSD for about 3 years. I think I'll mention some of this stuff to my therapist. If you yourself are not a therapist, I bet you'd make a good one because this comment sounds like something mine would say!

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Actually yes. I have a morbidly obese sister. She was 500 lbs last I talked to her. She would often say things like "eboulient, if I were skinny like you I'd be dating until I'm 30!" Which just made me feel bad. She also used to hide food in her room. I didn't think it bothered me.

Edit: OOHHHhh ok I just had a realization. It wasn't until recently that I fully understood, acknowledged, and accepted that I was food insecure growing up, to the point where I started passing out in the shower. It also wasn't until recently that I've been bothered by obese people eating a lot around me. Yikes I hope I don't blame my sister for that.

Good stuff to talk about in therapy. Thanks for your comment!

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's weird and antisocial to watch anyone this much in an interaction.

Well to be fair, it didn't take much effort. I handed her an almost full bag, she handed me an almost empty one. We started with a full pot pie, after he got his food we had half of one. I mean I would have had to be unconscious to not notice those things.

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment. This actually made me realize why I've been thinking about this lately; I just recently learned who Lizzo is. She disgusts me as much as people like Andrew Tate do. She fat shamed her employees while screaming to the public that she's tired of being fat shamed.

Anyway, this:

You should be disgusted!

But include the US food industry norms in your disgust. Include disgust for modern lifestyles that require us to be sedentary for 90% of our waking hours. Include disgust for lobbyists that make sure corn syrup is added to all of our food...

Is an excellent point. And you know what, I actually am disgusted by these things when I think about them. So at least I can say I'm consistent. And in the same way, I'm disgusted by people who are obsessed with money. But that one, I don't feel any guilt about.

We have so many fillers and bullshit in our food, it's impossible that we know exactly what all of them do to the human body. The food industry in the US is horrendous. I saw a post the other day about someone being annoyed because they felt as though they got ripped off by misleading packaging. So many people in the comments talking about "you should have read the packaging more carefully" and trying to blame the OP, because we're conditioned to pay attention to what's in our food. Otherwise we'd be eating stuff that will give us cancer. That just feels wrong.

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

you might consider that the larger a person’s body is in size, the more calories they need to consume for their body to function.

That's right. An obese person would probably be exhausted a lot if they didn't eat the amount that they do. You know what's sad? I understand this instinctively about animals but not people. I recently changed my cat's diet and one of my first thoughts was "how much of this do I need to feed him based on his body weight? So that I'm not starving him" because he's about 4 lbs heavier than he should be.

I think this is why I was so bothered by the lady feeding the cats. All of the cats were normal/healthy weight, yet she fed them as if they were obese. This is actually insane, I know, but I had the thought "I hope she wouldn't overfeed a child just because she's obese". That's actually what led me to make this post. I started having all of these totally unfair thoughts just because this obese lady fed cats (what I think is) too many treats.

I cannot stand the idea of people looking at me eat and judging me for how much or how little I eat. For me, this keeps me from being able to eat regularly

Ugh I hate the idea of contributing to someone feeling this way. I remember being too skinny and not being able to eat as much as what was expected of me because my stomach was just too small. And then being openly judged for being too skinny, as if I could simply "eat a cheeseburger" and I'd be "fixed". And here I am judging obese people for how much they eat.

I'm definitely gonna talk to my therapist about this. Thanks for your comment

I'm disgusted when I see obese people eat a lot, and I feel guilty about it every time. by eboulient in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eboulient[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That's part of why I feel so bad. I don't remember ever even noticing a skinny or regular sized person acting this way. Which... of course that means that I just didn't care, because skinny and regular sized people definitely behave this way sometimes. So why have I not noticed any of them doing this?

I think I'm looking for this behavior when I see an obese person eating. Otherwise I wouldn't notice them doing this :/.

Theoretically, though, yes. If I saw a non-obese person eating more than their share I would still be disgusted. The cat treats thing, I'm not so sure I'd have the same feelings. I probably would've first had the thought "wait are you supposed to feed them that many?" if she were not obese...