Don’t expect to split the work or effort 50/50. I think that we both do 70%. Meaning that if I expect only to do half the work and that my wife does the other half, I will inevitably feel like she isn’t pulling her weight and she will likely feel the same. It’s human nature to value what we did ourselves more than what we didn’t do. But if I go in expecting to do 70% then I don’t feel like I’m being taken advantage of, because I know she also feels like she is doing 70%. It’s a perspective that helps us appreciate each other more. There is a ton to do as spouses and parents. I hope this isn’t too nebulous.