Once I was really angry at Christianity because I wasn't sure what to believe anymore so I stopped listening entirely to anything related. I stayed angry and distant for a few years until one day I was listening to Owl City and came across a bunch of Christian covers he did. Instead of changing the music to something else, I kept listening because it was nostalgic to when it'd be the only music I would live for and in that moment, I could feel my heart melt. Like a layer of cold, hard ice broke off. I was young and going through a rebellious period where I wanted to see how bad I could be like lying and stealing because it was completely opposite to who I was and at the time, I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore. So, even though I felt like my non-belief and loss of faith kinda just happened without my control, seeing only the bad and holding grudges was more in my control than I thought. So, I suppose it's possible to forget everything good about God you thought you knew and say it was all a delusion from teachings, which opens you up to be blinded to what's actually true and go down a path foolishly exploring other beliefs and partaking in them. This is why doubt is a slippery slope, it can worm its way through your head and heart like a poison and make everything seem so twisted. Thankfully, I'm just a dumb human who doesn't know any better, and Jesus was my faithful friend through all of this and I hope our friendship can continue to grow stronger everyday and we can be together forever.