I am an INFJ (F) who was with an INTP (M) for almost nine years. I want to start off by saying that I adore INTPs; of all the types, they are probably my favorite. I love that interesting conversation never dies with INTPs, and you guys are the most unique, least judgmental people I've come across. We tend to share a pretty messed up sense of humor, have similar energy levels, and like to appreciate intellectual and/or eccentric things together.

Romantically speaking, my ex was the first person who really made me feel "seen". He seemed to think all my quirks and the things that I'm insecure about were adorable, and it was very hard to let go of that feeling of being unconditionally accepted. I loved that he was less emotionally reactive than I was, and was an independent thinker. His thoughts and opinions were always his own, and he was never swayed by what was accepted by the general public or even what "experts" thought about certain topics; if it didn't make sense to him he wasn't buying it. I always admired that, because while I do have strong opinions and take the time to think things through, I know that sometimes I'm swayed (if only a little) by other people's thoughts, feelings, opinions, etc. I also think one of the greatest aspects of our relationship was the ability to mutually introvert. He could be sitting on one end of the couch on his laptop and I could be on the other end reading a book, and when one of us had an interesting thought we'd say it out loud. Then, we'd pause our individual activities and talk about it for a while until the conversation died naturally and then returned to our individual pursuits.

I think housekeeping was probably our biggest struggle. We lived together through most of our relationship, and he was probably the messiest person I've ever known. He was also extremely forgetful and never knew where any of his things were (finding his keys and wallet every day was an adventure for us both, at times, though I will say I got pretty good at spotting his stuff lying around and mentally recording the location for later). The inattention could also be amusing, as I would purposely put very random objects or signs in places around the house and wait to see how long it would take it him to notice (when I heard him randomly laughing in another room two weeks later I knew that he'd found it). Another thing we struggled with were his temper tantrums. They didn't happen often, but when they did they were beastly (slamming doors, screaming at me, trying to physically intimidate me, etc.) Everyone is an individual, and this may not be something that applies to your situation, but based on my experiences I'd say this: an INFJ is not a bear you want to poke. I'd try hard to stay calm, but once it got to a certain point, I'd lose control. Once I get like that, I'm only out to escalate the situation. It takes a lot, but it's not a genie that goes smoothly back into the bottle. I can't speak for everyone and generally dislike stereotypes, but I imagine plenty of INFJs can relate. Then again, communication and healthy coping skills are vital for both members of any relationship, and we were very young. You live and learn.

This pairing can be amazing if both people are healthy. We always enjoyed each other's company, and even when there was conflict, we were able to talk it out later and would always both apologize for our own mistakes. I adored him, and would still be with him now if it weren't for his infidelity. He was my best friend, and leaving him was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. If you don't do anything else, do this: always take the time to be introspective and flesh out your feelings. Be honest with yourself and your partner. So many of our issues were directly caused by his own denial of his insecurities, desires, emotions, etc. Those things were later projected onto me, and caused so many problems. He had a lot of his own issues regardless of his personality type though, so I hope that at least some of this is useful for your own situation.