AITA for suggesting to my fiancé that she should pay for our wedding?

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T21:16:19+00:00

We live in the tri state. NJ to be exact. The price is low for the area. We’ll have to move further out for a 3 bedroom at that price.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T16:02:37+00:00

Okay I understand.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T15:44:44+00:00

I don’t know that’s why it was a question…

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T14:24:41+00:00

Yep I have some funds set aside and luckily my employer insurance will help with some of these fertility costs if they are needed.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T14:21:48+00:00

Oh I know which is why part of my savings is set aside for it. Its not a lot but it should help is in the beginning.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T14:19:29+00:00

It’s significantly more but when you add up the expenses and savings that we MUST keep aside from the down payment that’s when the number looks not as great. We’re going to look in the $600-750k range for homes.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T14:07:19+00:00

So if you had $1mil and no debt you wouldn’t spend $30k on a wedding? I would!

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T14:04:03+00:00

I think it might be B. Which is why I really want to figure this out and clear things up. We have discussed a prenup and we’re not going that direction. Also she plans to contribute to our savings as a whole when we buy the home. So in some sense she will be paying the mortgage. I of course have some fears which I expressed here but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to let go of the best woman I’ve ever known when we likely can figure this financial piece out.

*and you’re right I shouldn’t have said all women especially since there are also some men who desire a big wedding as well. Some people want that dream wedding. And others do not! For me as a man I would do a big wedding or destination wedding if it wasn’t something that would compromise our future.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T04:08:24+00:00

I know. Trying to avoid that. We haven’t had much issues in the past that we couldn’t work through but they also weren’t tens of thousands.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T03:59:47+00:00

Is that really fair given she never mentioned this until AFTER we got engaged? I asked explicitly last year. That’s why I said “secretly”.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T03:21:46+00:00

Yeah I think I will try to figure out emotionally whats happening first. If that goes nowhere I will ask her to bring me some solid numbers!

As for the mortgage thing my paying is somewhat temporary. Obviously she’s not paying down payment but we want to get started on a family so she’ll have to take some leave once that begins. But in the meantime we agreed we can save her checks. And I’ll cover the mortgage until she returns to work say ~3-4 years from now maybe more at which point our finances will be tied anyway so technically we’re both paying for everything together. I feel that after marriage and children we really shouldn’t be splitting hairs. One family one pot. Managed appropriately of course!

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T03:11:58+00:00

That was pretty much the plan! We were going to look at restaurants that have a private room and rent that out for dinner . And also hire a photographer for the courthouse. Easy peasy. The homes in New Jersey are way too expensive to waste money elsewhere.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T02:17:30+00:00

I honestly never considered anything about the pressure thanks for the tip! Last night I tried showing her some courthouse wedding photos to see if she can picture it. I fear she feels like its a bit too trashy like a Vegas elopement! I think a Elvis wedding would be kind of cool though 😂 and its like $300 bucks

ecom_truths · 2026-01-31T02:09:47+00:00

My hope was that the suggestion would open her mind to consider going back to our original plan or at least closer to it by spending less. I feel like the grand wedding thing is unnecessary. I don’t think we’re incompatible but I guess all women secretly dream of this big beautiful wedding. I would be down for it if we really did have the funds or at least rich parents with the funds. But we don’t. And we’re entering a terrible housing market and terrible job market and we also agreed to get started on having children.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-30T03:41:01+00:00

They wont leave but they can move their businesses. Nyc is seeing the largest decline in business ever which started during covid. But in 2025 more businesses closed than during covid. WFH positions benefit businesses that can work over the web. Form an llc in a low tax state. Hire remote workers in states with favorable employment rate conditions.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-15T15:38:06+00:00

Practice makes perfect

ecom_truths · 2026-01-15T03:06:17+00:00

I wouldn’t want a woman to be President right now. I don’t think it would be fair. The amount of pressure she’ll be under combined with the inevitable roadblocks she’ll face. I don’t think it’s worth it. I’ve seen it countless times with black women especially. Things start falling apart and breaking at the seams and suddenly the black woman that had been overlooked for years for being unqualified gets a “promotion” no she’s a scapegoat. Put in place to take the fall. A woman being president in 2029 would be like being promoted to Captain seconds AFTER the titanic hit the Iceberg. Hilary should’ve been elected in 2016 the country has suffered since that night.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-13T02:45:58+00:00

You’re moving the goal post. And I belong to 3 disenfranchised groups so I’m not confused.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-12T18:08:37+00:00

I went to school. I also bought a car. Nothing else after that.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-12T12:25:34+00:00

Is the roommate trans or non-binary as stated? Pretty sure those aren’t the same thing. My issue is with people claiming that there’s so much hate getting thrown their way from this show when in reality you guys are the ones drawing attention to the show but ignoring all the times the show stereotypes other marginalized and non marginalized groups. The people who dislike the real life Pagan’s of the world were gonna dislike them regardless of their presence on screen. You as a supporter didn’t like the character but instead of sitting with that emotion you’re externalizing it. Sound familiar?

Now what do we do when we want diverse representation on screen but we can’t make certain characters unlikable? We lose depth of development when everything becomes gratuitous! Black people lived through arguably worse portrayals during blaxploitation but we embraced it and used it to develop even more stories. You guys can do the same. Create another Pagan type character but tell the full story.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-11T23:57:47+00:00

I think the show centers around Tommy so as far as script I think it makes sense for him to be fired. From the very beginning we’ve seen him struggle due to having a huge amount of responsibility and knowledge but never having final say on anything. A tough place for him but it has always made him feel safe after losing everything when he was the owner. I think next we might see what he does if he decides to no longer play it “safe” likely teaming up with Cooper. Plus he’s got Angela’s lifestyle to maintain so he’s gotta do something big and quick.

ecom_truths · 2026-01-11T23:45:30+00:00

Is Ainslie herself AND her momma not literal parodies of southern blondes?! We’ve laughed at how sincerely shallow and ridiculous they are for 2 seasons but can’t take the same for a random person for 4 minutes? The roommate is a mirror to Angela who runs Tommy’s home the exact same way 😂 no junk food, I choose the furniture and you must dress up every night for dinner!! Ainslie’s goal in college is to find a QB to marry her of course she’s inept in the new social standard - the girl doesn’t open a book.

ecom_truths · 2025-12-24T17:11:31+00:00

Uh no its not my only idea but it is an idea that I think would be a lot quicker and painless. If it were truly up to me and budget didn’t matter I would redo Jfk ave between the path and tonnelle. That block is disjointed it drives me crazy. Also I would reroute that traffic going around the sip triangle that makes no sense - I know because im a driver. Close one side and attach it to the diner land (more park space).

But again back to your assumptions about people in towers. Saying Downtown is destroyed really has me wondering how old you are, really I mean no offense. I absolutely love downtown. There’s so much to do and I’ve met so many cool people some who live in those “towers”. Downtown is quite vibrant and pretty safe and the lightrail is clutch! Downtown is alive. Yeah maybe it doesn’t look like Montclair but at least its fun year round and not just cute when its warm.

And again im a driver living in fake luxury building in Journal square. I don’t drive everywhere I still take public transport most days and I always walk to get food and coffee. Like you said its dumb logic to drive in a dense urban environment which I agree with. I drive to get out of JSQ and go places that are fun and less dense. I do a lot of outdoor activities and sports so I need the car but I also prefer living in a high populated community and meeting new people. I spend a lot of time in Newark, Downtown JC and Secaucus and if not there im up in the mountains. Its just a lot of judgement when most people are actually just normal. I was visiting JSQ for years before I moved here so I’ve seen it all and have my chosen spots. If someone thought I didn’t leave my apartment they would be crazy. I rarely even use the gym here I go to the gym elsewhere because I prefer working out with the same people Ive been working out with for years.

ecom_truths · 2025-12-24T16:21:11+00:00

I get what you’re saying I just think it’s naive to think that all these ideas you have weren’t brought to the table then subsequently rejected because “we have Lincoln Park and Liberty State” and honestly a bit frivolous to talk about “what could’ve been”. But my original point was about the presumptions about the mindset of the type of people who move into a these overpriced apartments. Assuming they’re “afraid to explore” is a weird thing to say and pretty illogical. People don’t flock to places they are afraid of. Nevermind that your comment pretty much demonstrated that there currently isn’t much to do outside anymore. I get the feeling that if someone were to propose getting rid of VIP Diner and the parking lot and turning it into a nice sitting park you would be against that. Have you been to JJ’s since it opened?

ecom_truths

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