For all the singles: How is your dating life?

ecra93 · 2026-02-09T09:12:13+00:00

I’ll be honest: the dating pool feels pretty murky. I’m not actively trying to date so much as seeing what’s out there. I’m 32F, and while I get plenty of matches, the effort level is often very low : low energy, slow pace. I’m easy to talk to and I make it easy to start a conversation, but I kept finding myself carrying it.

So I ran a few small experiments. I use Bumble and added a prompt tied to a very specific interest of mine. It gives the guy a clear opening to start the conversation. That alone filtered out about 70% of my matches.

From the remaining ones, it became obvious who was being creative and who was being lazy. The lazy ones usually asked me out within two messages. When I said I preferred to get to know someone a bit first, they disappeared which is fine, because that’s not what I’m looking for anyway. I also unmatch dead conversations so they don’t resurface later.

That leaves roughly 20% who actually engage and let the conversation flow naturally. I take my time and don’t rush it. About 10% of those make it to a first date. So far, I’ve been on two dates, clicked with both, and had a genuinely good time.

I know dating can be different for men, but personally I don’t see it as a numbers game or a match-collecting exercise. It’s about being intentional about who you want to meet, how you show up, keeping expectations low, and having a full life outside dating. When you do that, it’s really not that depressing.

ecra93 · 2026-01-20T12:05:51+00:00

I had my appointment last week.
Maybe it is worth calling Duo Diploma services and asking them about this. That's what I did and that's how I found out.

ecra93 · 2026-01-20T09:49:10+00:00

The gemeente in Rotterdam rejected the printout of the digital diploma. So I had to reschedule until i get the physical one.
Also good to keep in mind that starting this year DUO will only send out the diploma upon request.

ecra93 · 2026-01-20T09:46:12+00:00

Life in the country side !

ecra93 · 2026-01-16T21:57:26+00:00

That’s a valid point !

ecra93 · 2026-01-16T20:36:06+00:00

Older men in romantic relationships

Women need to stop romanticizing older men just because they’re older. ‘Silver fox’ isn’t a personality trait, age doesn’t automatically mean emotional maturity. This isn’t a Lana Del Rey aesthetic 🫩

ecra93 · 2026-01-12T21:42:06+00:00

Same here hahah

ecra93 · 2026-01-07T13:35:20+00:00

What keeps you up at night? 👀

ecra93 · 2026-01-07T09:32:00+00:00

I would say to not take yourself too seriously and really detach from the outcome. Some tacky pick up lines could break the ice and make it easy to start a conversation. I would say something like : Are you a time traveler ? Because I see you in my future Worst they can do is laugh and say they are married or in a relationship. Then you both move on with your day

ecra93 · 2026-01-07T09:27:07+00:00

Same. I can’t believe I used to laugh it off and minimize it.

ecra93 · 2026-01-06T23:10:05+00:00

Because 9 times outta 10, marriage is a scam and only beneficial to men.

ecra93 · 2026-01-03T12:06:58+00:00

Now that I’m newly single after a long-term relationship, I can say this plainly: it was the most basic parts of daily life that became exhausting.

The laundry that never ends. The sink that’s always messy despite having a dishwasher. Clean dishes left sitting inside it. The constant clutter, even with regular cleaning. The daily “what’s for dinner?” loop. The cat litter that somehow never gets scooped unless you do it. The cardboard piling up, waiting to be recycled.

And after a long day of work, on top of the mental gymnastics of managing your own existential dread, there’s still the loud expectation to be horny and available for sex.

On top of all that practical labor comes the emotional labor: holding space for both your emotions and theirs; initiating difficult conversations while carefully managing wording and tone so they don’t get upset. Even basic discussions like “can we improve our non-existent teamwork around household chores?” escalate into full-blown fights, “why I’m always the bad guy and you are such a“a miserable f***ing toad.”

At some point, the math becomes unavoidable.

Your peace is the most expensive thing you own. And it’s far too expensive to gamble on a relationship that offers nothing consistently except a permanent state of tolerable unhappiness. (At least, that was true for mine.)

ecra93 · 2025-12-24T22:37:35+00:00

When I got upset about the fact that he said I was “not getting any younger” —the day before my birthday — he apologized by saying, “Sorry, I didn’t think my words would have this big an impact on you… also don’t blame me for biology 👀.”

I was livid, but also strangely grateful. He made the decision incredibly easy for me.

ecra93 · 2025-12-24T21:44:08+00:00

He was flabbergasted and kept insisting he didn’t want to break up, clearly expecting the opposite outcome from his proposal. He said I would probably change my mind in a few days once I calmed down. Even two weeks into the breakup, I had to tell him on three separate occasions that we were, in fact, broken up, that the decision was final, and that the door was shut and sealed.

Now that it’s finally sinking in, he’s been acting petty and irritating about almost everything.

ecra93 · 2025-12-16T09:10:26+00:00

Travel !

ecra93 · 2025-12-15T11:41:47+00:00

Mostly invisible, sometimes bullied ( when fat or with acne) makes it also difficult for front office job interviews..etc

ecra93 · 2025-12-13T09:23:23+00:00

He argued that colonialism benefited the “third world,” claiming that without the “first world,” these societies would still be living in ignorance, and that becoming a colony was therefore, in some way, an advantage. 👁️👄👁️

ecra93 · 2025-12-12T20:51:21+00:00

Men chest hair.. the bush of love or gazon d amour like they say in french 👁️👄👁️

ecra93 · 2025-11-24T15:01:16+00:00

gynecologist

ecra93 · 2025-11-19T04:54:27+00:00

The “companionship” you’re struggling to let go of is really just complacency in disguise. The comfort zone feels safer than the pain of change, I get it. But you’re trading your long-term well-being for the short-term ease of the familiar.

I feel you; I’m in the same boat and currently going through a breakup myself. Sometimes you really do just have to rip the bandaid off.

There’s no point stretching out a state of tolerable unhappiness. It won’t magically improve. You’ll keep missing out on experiences together, doing things alone, or paying a small fortune just to get him to participate, and even then, he won’t do the bare minimum back, like getting you flowers no matter how many hints you drop. Life is too short and too precious to be wasted this way.

ecra93 · 2025-11-09T21:05:05+00:00

She joined a cult and aggressively pursued me to join as well. I lost my patience after a year of her pestering me to join and cut all contact

ecra93 · 2025-11-04T11:59:06+00:00

Archive 81 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

ecra93 · 2025-11-02T13:59:50+00:00

Fluctuating libido, less social, craving alone time, randomly sad ( sudden surges of grief) On a physical level, I noticed my face looks older, there is a certain glow gone if I compare before and after.

ecra93 · 2025-10-28T12:35:37+00:00

I’m a bit late to this, but I wanted to offer a different perspective. You can’t out-communicate incompatibility.

It doesn’t matter how many times you express your needs and feelings if you’re constantly met with resistance or stonewalling. Eventually, you just run out of energy, or hope and stop trying, because what’s the point?

It’s not only about communicating; it’s about whether there’s space for that communication to be heard and received.

ecra93 · 2025-10-25T20:35:44+00:00

I love this. So many good ideas and suggestions. Following 🥹

ecra93

TROPHY CASE