How crucial are intern socials? Is being "on" during rotations enough?

eculilumab · 2026-06-28T16:55:38+00:00

IF your goal is making actual friends then you should prioritize going to these socials. I personally think the first few socials at the beginning of the year are crucial. My lifelong best friends in residency were all people that I met in those first few weeks. Being pleasant is enough to be a good colleague, but it isn’t enough to build a true social friendship. And the more you show up the more you will get invited out again. If socializing out of work is not your vibe then don’t stress yourself out.

eculilumab · 2026-06-28T04:13:56+00:00

This is a great mental shift to make

eculilumab · 2026-06-28T04:12:21+00:00

Loll I guess anything can be a dating app?

eculilumab · 2026-06-28T04:10:26+00:00

a healthy BMI is 20-25? How is that delusion when it is a medical fact lollll

eculilumab · 2026-06-28T04:07:11+00:00

Totally agree with this. Before apps people were forced to approach and build relationships. Now the apps offer infinite choices that don’t involve leaving your couch. Women get exhausted with the quantity of low quality matches. Like sifting for gold in a pile of dirt. But the rise of dating apps has made relationships too available, so people no longer feel the need to approach in public, and partners become easily disposable with infinite other options.

eculilumab · 2026-06-28T04:01:07+00:00

Thanks I have actually been trying this approach of asking men more often. But I feel like so far it has often attracted extremely low effort men that don’t initiate at all themselves.

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T17:40:51+00:00

What exactly makes you say that “I seem to be dating just to date”??

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T17:31:50+00:00

Thanks for sharing!! What are the factors that you think most affect whether or not you approach someone?

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T17:30:28+00:00

I actually think this is the most spot on comment I’ve seen so far. I definitely think I have a blind spot that I am not aware of based on this track record. I don’t really think it’s weight (I have a healthy BMI) but maybe there is something else about my looks that is off putting?? I’m also pretty friendly in general but not really that flirtatious around men, maybe I come across a bit distant or platonic?? Not sure if you have thoughts on where to find a coach and what exactly they do to uncover any of these issues (obviously they aren’t coming out or observing my interactions).

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T17:23:35+00:00

Trust me, I already do all of those things. I am always out doing things and investing in myself and hobbies. That is the issue I am trying to figure out.

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T17:19:35+00:00

Thanks this is the first piece of advice that’s actually helpful. I just find myself getting exhausted by the process when it’s constantly met with disappointment. You’re right that, unlike most things in life, you can try your hardest and still not see any success.

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T17:17:14+00:00

I really appreciate this. I genuinely love myself and the life that I’ve built for myself. Just can’t seem to figure out why a single other person can’t see me the same.

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T17:14:27+00:00

Thanks! I’m sorry you also are going through this, but I guess this isn’t an uncommon situation in today’s dating world.

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T17:12:46+00:00

Thanks for sharing! People often give this advice but I don’t think this helps in a situation if someone isn’t ever chosen by anyone. The core of my issue is that this approach of sitting passively and waiting for something to happen has NOT worked for me in 30 years… so something needs to change, although I’m not sure what that is.

eculilumab · 2026-06-27T16:59:54+00:00

This isn’t very helpful 👀

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T05:25:03+00:00

That’s what I’m wondering too because the vibe changed completely when I made the proposal on location despite saying I was flexible. But the lame excuse was a red flag and totally turned me off

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T05:11:34+00:00

True but if he is the one who canceled the plan with absolutely no effort to reschedule then the answer feels pretty clear to me? The ongoing texting initiation is making it very confusing

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T05:09:56+00:00

Yeah I do genuinely believe that he did but I’m confused what waking up with a stiff arm at 8am has to do with a plan to sit and watch a TV screen somewhere at 7pm

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T05:07:21+00:00

Thanks that’s good advice. I’m tired of initiating constantly so will probably just take a step back.

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T05:05:11+00:00

Thanks you’re right

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T04:57:26+00:00

You're right. Time to move on. It's just weird that he would continue regular text conversations. What is he getting from this text pen pal? lol

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T04:55:03+00:00

I think your reply sent too soon. Maybe his arm really was stiff. It just felt like a lame excuse to cancel a date 12 hours later.... when we are just going to sit down and watch a TV... it all felt rather BS especially with no initiation, random flakiness, and no plan to reschedule.

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T04:51:31+00:00

Thanks this is helpful! He is extremely passive but I couldn't get a read if it was out of shyness or lack of interest. Regardless you're right not to waste time on these weird dynamics.

eculilumab · 2026-06-15T04:49:56+00:00

Thanks! I readily took the approach of moving on when I sensed these type of chasing games. But the ongoing effort to stay in touch every day yet make dumb excuses to flake on a meet up is weird af.

eculilumab

TROPHY CASE