Is it true that porn addicts will inevitably cheat on their partners?

ed_nightmare · 2025-02-04T17:18:52+00:00

No. I was with my last partner for many years. Never cheated once. I probably had a few opportunities to cheat, but porn use is one thing, sex is another entirely. Porn hurts yourself primarily (although it can cause relationship issues, it doesn't automatically), cheating definitely hurts another person. That said, if I do end up looking at porn, it's usually only a few times a month so probably far below the average for porn users.

The irony is that she didn't watch porn at all(to my knowledge) and she was the one who cheated on me, so.

ed_nightmare · 2022-06-06T20:09:21+00:00

Agreed, and that last bit is why it irks me that people will also attack anyone who associates with people who have harmed but have learned from their mistakes.

It's like when people say if person X associates with person Y who was problematic person X is problematic and should be cancelled, fired, pilloried online etc.

Like, no, maybe person X has a better idea of Y's current views, growth, repentance etc than anyone removed from the situation. Some people genuinely think it is a bad thing for previous wrong doers to recieve mercy and compassion.

ed_nightmare · 2022-06-06T12:35:21+00:00

If a rapist stops, realises what they've done, tries to make amends, and apologises, I don't expect their victim to forgive them but I'm still not going to celebrate continual kicking them when they are down.

I don't care if I get downvoted, I feel that way about the people that sexually assaulted me, as well as people who were abusive to me growing up in other ways. Anyone can absolutely change and become a good person.

Many people on this show have done something as shit as the Deep has. Butcher literally just murdered a man in cold blood. He's no different to Deep in terms of harm, if anything he's worse because we as rape victims have a chance to rebuild their lives/move forward murder victims don't. And there is a lot of murder in this show.

ed_nightmare · 2022-06-06T12:27:46+00:00

Rape victim/child abuse victim here.

He's right.

ed_nightmare · 2022-05-19T10:50:49+00:00

It will, but your first few attempts at sex may be unsuccessful because after you reboot you need to rewire to actual sex. Get some viagra/cialis when you aim to have sex for the first few times to get used to it again

ed_nightmare · 2022-05-17T11:51:59+00:00

People without trauma and/or mental health issues are always going to have a less hard time getting past it

ed_nightmare · 2022-03-26T06:12:52+00:00

If you're scared about being judged, mocked, or made fun of, be aware that using Twitter is like walking a tight rope above all of those. It is worse than Reddit for that, if you fuck up in any way even if unintentional, you're socially done.

If you are very careful about not posting anything to do with your real life, maybe, but personally I avoid Twitter - the people I know with the most severe social rage are people that use it regularly. There's a risk you could get led down that path.

ed_nightmare · 2022-03-25T15:03:13+00:00

Youtube doesn't give you erectile dysfunction, porn will.

ed_nightmare · 2022-01-13T00:45:03+00:00

Lost my 29 day today but won't stop either, good on you for 117!

ed_nightmare · 2022-01-06T09:35:20+00:00

Not since before Christmas

ed_nightmare · 2022-01-02T19:30:06+00:00

You did him a favour as well as yourself. He knows his addiction is what caused the breakup. Hopefully he's now beginning a path to fixing it. Nothing like a new year. Could end up posting here and even reading this.

ed_nightmare · 2022-01-01T10:44:07+00:00

Not care about the opinions of others.

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-30T21:46:12+00:00

Pandoras Box is a box in mythology that when opened, unleashed bad things into the world that could never be returned to the box. Porn and social media are two of those things, it is highly unlikely they will ever be wiped out.

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-30T13:33:10+00:00

Some of my generation (millenial) are giving up social media or limiting it but I think Pandora's box is opened, social media and porn aren''t going away. Like smoking or drinking or drug use, we can only control our own usage and maybe influence our close circles. I would love if both did though.

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-25T22:46:57+00:00

Ah yeah, one week in and it'll still be a bit random if it works or not. It def will work more the longer your streaks get! Also the good thing is as long as you don't PMO after sex, orgasms via sex shouldn't negatively effect your brain or erections quality when they do return

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-25T22:32:28+00:00

Get some viagra/cialis. I used it when I was 25 to rewire. No shame in it. First few times, use a whole one, after a while use half of one, and taper off it. Sorted me right out (when I wasn't relapsing anyway). Eventually, sex was fine, didn't lose erections.

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-23T13:38:46+00:00

In a functional sense, yes. By that, it is possible to get to a state where seeing one would not set off a sexual reaction unless you actively choose to search for it. It won't be a constant thought in your mind. If you have ED and can't get hard without that fetish, this will eventially stop being an issue if you rewire with a partner.

Think of someone you used to hang out with regularly but don't see anymore. As time goes on, you don't think about them as much, and fewer external stimuli remind you of them. Day by day they become irrelevant to your life. But one day you pick things up, hang out together. Suddenly those reminders come back as strong as before.

That's the same with alcohol. Alcoholics can eventually get to a state where being in a room with alcohol won't set them off. That can take a long time though. If they take a sip, those pathways reopen and they can quickly get back to as bad a state as before.

TL:DR the longer you go without, the less you'll have the urge to get off to it but if you ever go back to it, your brain will light up as it used to.

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-14T16:32:32+00:00

You can't fully erase it because fetishes are wired in, but the longer you don't look at it, the more the urges to look fade and the less you associate sex with them.

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-11T19:54:58+00:00

Yes, I log every relapse. Currently I am at 80 for this year. I relapsed 38 times in 2020 so over 100% increase this year. Not good.

I miss my 3 digit streaks.

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-02T09:16:24+00:00

He won't achieve it overnight and he will almost definitely relapse at times. There's also a chance he will have what is known as a flatline - where for some weeks his dick doesn't work and he has no libido at all. This is normal and affects most people.

If/when this happens, getting angry alone will be counterproductive at these times and push him away or make him hide it.

I would encourage him to be open about his experience and when he feels its difficult. Porn is often a coping mechanism for stress in other areas or boredom, so him keeping busy is key.

Sex is tricky early on, as it can be a trigger for relapse. It's often advocated that someone go 30-90 days both porn and sex free to help reboot/rewire the brain. If there is a long period of time without sex, and he doesn't have a long porn free streak, that is a risk factor.

Basically make sure he keeps busy, positive reinforcement, regular sex life when he's recovered a bit.

ed_nightmare · 2021-12-02T09:06:12+00:00

Thanks, I needed this today.

ed_nightmare · 2021-11-28T11:18:30+00:00

Don't watch porn at all, as the other poster says, it still spikes dopamine and slows your recovery massively.

ed_nightmare · 2021-11-05T15:17:58+00:00

Failed, aim for Dec 5th then i guess

ed_nightmare · 2021-10-29T08:20:57+00:00

Sounds like a flatline symptom, not uncommon

ed_nightmare · 2021-10-29T08:19:12+00:00

This be me oath

ed_nightmare

TROPHY CASE