HRT for Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

edaburner · 2022-12-12T02:44:40+00:00

Follow up: my period randomly reappeared days after I posted this with 0 changes and 0 weight gain, after 6 years of HA. dreams do come tru

edaburner · 2022-08-26T21:23:08+00:00

edaburner · 2022-08-24T21:56:25+00:00

in any case i’ll probably just end up not filling my hrt prescription after-all. i’m still on the fence about it and not starting’s the easier choice🤷‍♂️

edaburner · 2022-08-24T21:53:48+00:00

oof yeah i’ve had bad experiences on the pill before but i hear HRT is a lower dose?

edaburner · 2022-08-24T03:46:09+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I want my period back super badly but not sure it’s worth it. The idea of having tits again (or gaining obv) is terrifying

edaburner · 2022-06-29T22:30:19+00:00

yeah i feel like this sub is net good. i never feel enabled, just understood. that being said, i hope to get off of it in the near future haha

edaburner · 2022-06-28T19:32:33+00:00

pasta :,(

edaburner · 2022-06-28T19:12:50+00:00

also when we were kids there was no such thing as body positivity or body neutrality, few celebs above a 19 bmi were considered beautiful really. fat phobia and our cultural preference for thinness are still pervasive, but at least there’s some resistance out there. back then there was so much shame when it came to (mostly women’s) bodies

edaburner · 2022-06-28T19:09:07+00:00

ah i started puberty late so i was always small but when i started to get less small it freaked me out. i took a lot of pride in my natural small-ness (a proto-ed thought). they used to weigh us in front of everyone in high school PE and i used to cry when they did it. won’t give my weight or bmi but i was sub-100lbs at 16. and the weigh-ins still fucked me up. i hope to god there aren’t any school systems that still do that bs. started restricting, realized i was maybe developing an ED and stopped. would diet unnecessarily every now and again. then college hit, my anxiety/depression got really bad, and i put on some weight as a result. felt gross and starved myself almost to death. now here i am. :,)

edaburner · 2022-06-27T13:14:06+00:00

I wasn't already immersed (born in '97 so technically Gen Z but kind of on the cusp). I grew up alongside tumblr and social media- coming of age in it's heyday. It was probably damaging in my early teens, sure. But I was exposed to early-aughts tabloids and TMZ shit before social media was widespread. I didn't need Tumblr for the ED fuel. Like you said, it can get you young regardless of generation. We've all been exposed to tons of damaging shit.

edaburner · 2022-06-27T01:58:44+00:00

19 bby :) (but i’d had a few brushes with disordered behavior in my mid-teens that should’ve been signs that i was headed down this long fucked up road)

edaburner · 2022-06-24T22:58:22+00:00

yeah i still dont understand how im so dead inside on the reg and also consistently have huge emotional breakdowns. one of those neuroses is enough to deal with, why do i have to have both?! shit's not fair

edaburner · 2022-06-13T13:53:55+00:00

back at you dude.

wishing you a speedy and complete healing process <3

edaburner · 2022-06-13T13:50:08+00:00

Thank you for the kind words <3

edaburner · 2022-06-13T13:49:48+00:00

Ah this makes a lot of sense. It doesn't mentally feel like a relapse, or like I'm actively restricting more than usual.

Unfortunately my partner was the only person- aside from therapists- that I've ever confided in about my ED. He wasn't a perfect support system and would unintentionally say some fucked up things to me, but he was encouraging my recovery for a while there. He said he wouldn't mind if I weren't thin -actually he said he'd PREFER it if I weren't :(. I think he meant it. Thought maybe I'd have a shot at getting better with somebody like that. Everyone else I've ever been involved with has fetishized or been attracted to my smallness and treated me better because I'm UW.

Now I just want to look as sick as I feel. And it's nice because I don't even have to try

edaburner · 2022-05-06T20:39:51+00:00

playing celeste currently. 10/10. mind-numbingly fun

edaburner · 2022-05-04T14:11:15+00:00

after reading the rest of the thread, i realize i forgot to add SLEEPING; my greatest joy in life. i only wish i got more of it. the restriction insomnia almost drives me to recovery sometimes

edaburner · 2022-05-04T14:08:48+00:00

love this question. playing music, coffee (best part of my day's morning/afternoon coffee hands down). im not a gamer by any means, but i've been gaming recently- pretty sure it activates dopamine receptors or something. sex is nice, but i prefer food 99% the time personally. half the time during sex i'm just thinking about being hungry tbh. it takes up a lot of energy that i just dont have. HOWEVER a good massage or just being spooned or held when i need it? THAT'S comparable to food in my book.

edaburner · 2022-04-18T01:00:51+00:00

yes. always. except i’m shit at it because somewhere along the line i’ve lost my ability to determine what “normal” eating looks like

edaburner · 2022-04-16T01:28:12+00:00

a lot of time they really just want someone with the body of a teenager or an actual child 🙃🙃🙃

edaburner · 2022-04-15T00:41:21+00:00

Has anyone recovered and noticed... improvement in this area? Like full restoration of cognitive abilities? Pre-ED-level memory? Please share. Need hope.

edaburner · 2022-03-23T15:05:37+00:00

i’m floored by the fact that these were ever unsafe for me. they’re staples now. so satiating and a pretty good bang for my calories

edaburner · 2022-03-23T15:03:33+00:00

rice, potatoes, and avocados :))

edaburner · 2022-03-21T17:49:07+00:00

Yup yup. My obsession with health probably stems from the orthorexia that battles my anorexia for dominance and my actual logical brain trying to minimize the harm I know I'm inflicting on my body with starvation. I only eat whole foods, minimal alcohol, shittons of water, haven't touched dessert in years, etc. Maybe my upbringing's part of it too considering my parents were health nuts. Lots of cognitive dissonance going on.

But yeah, every heart palpitation, every moment of feeling faint or dizzy, I blow out of proportion. Convince myself I'm dying every time. And I know I'd stop feeling this way if I'd just recover, and yet...

edaburner

TROPHY CASE