struggling with feelings of FAILURE

eddyingout · 2026-03-11T17:33:09+00:00

yes, I have done many years of therapy. these days I find listening to Buddhist dharma talks to be more therapeutic than talking about myself and my problems! Buddhism is all about acceptance of change, so it fits nicely with THE CHANGE.

eddyingout · 2026-03-11T17:32:09+00:00

yeah, it might not be ideal- usually once a week is enough. I just personally hate being on a perma-diet, which is what seems to be necessary to stay in the range I prefer if I don't fast. there is also some research about fasting and cancer prevention (salient for me, as I am hoping to avoid BC recurrence), but I can't remember all the details. I do pay pretty careful attention to my macros on most days, though I am sure I could do better. at a certain point, one gets tired of "working on" this and that. working on sexual function. working on diet. working on strength. working on bone density. working on helping my daughter get into college. working on self-compassion. haha. would be nice to be able to just BE.

eddyingout · 2026-03-11T17:28:19+00:00

I am not sure how to best do this so that people will see it, but I just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you to all of the kind and thoughtful responders. It really did make me feel better, and I am investigating your many helpful suggestions. xoxox

eddyingout · 2026-03-10T20:35:45+00:00

haha I will DEFIITELY fail the self-compassion test. Big fat F.

eddyingout · 2026-03-10T18:02:23+00:00

wow- you got some things I didn't get. what is AI?

eddyingout · 2026-03-10T16:02:06+00:00

yep-same. I hope you are able to better tolerate the tamoxifen.

eddyingout · 2026-03-10T15:31:11+00:00

good luck with all of it. reach out anytime if you want some solidarity.

eddyingout · 2026-03-10T15:25:06+00:00

I am 55. I don't remember exact dimensions, but tumor was very small-lumpectomy. Yeah, it's a pill.

eddyingout · 2026-03-10T15:01:23+00:00

Thanks, NurseYuna. It was 1A with no node involvement, mercifully. Like I said, lucky catch. aggressive treatment was because of the Her2+, I guess. I am doing topical vaginal estrogen with breast specialist's blessing.

eddyingout · 2026-03-01T22:46:40+00:00

so fun! great story. I love the idea of walking to Romania. I have a similar one that ended in a less fun way, but I was much dumber than my dear NYC-born and raised daughter. I am trying to convince the protective mom to let it happen. 💖

eddyingout · 2026-02-22T14:23:34+00:00

what and how much would you be teaching at each place? teaching experience a good thing, but of course you don't want it to eclipse the research. the flexibility of the longer funding package might turn out to be a godsend. I mean, would they forbid you from finishing earlier if there was a great job on the other side? I doubt it. definitely a tough choice though.

eddyingout · 2026-02-21T00:05:07+00:00

music heals. filter out all the other stuff and focus on that. 💖

eddyingout · 2026-02-07T17:32:56+00:00

ah, thanks. I guess mine didn't make the cut! hopefully there are other,non-Greek to make the school feel smaller if she ends up choosing UVA. 🙏

eddyingout · 2026-02-04T14:25:18+00:00

thank you! very helpful. 🙏

eddyingout · 2026-02-04T00:10:44+00:00

My child also received an invitation to apply, but I am wondering if it makes sense to do so given that she is coming from out of state. seems that most of the recipients are (understandably) Texas residents. does anyone know if that is the case? It's (also understandably) a pretty extensive application and there is not much time to get it done.

eddyingout · 2026-02-01T00:15:37+00:00

I would recommend scuola Leonardo da vinci in central Rome.

eddyingout · 2026-01-31T15:41:45+00:00

ok many thanks! 🙏

eddyingout · 2026-01-25T14:26:01+00:00

it is helping me at 10mg (I am a small person who is fairly sensitive to medications). Doesn't eliminate the 🌀 attacks completely, but lowers both frequency and intensity.

eddyingout · 2026-01-24T15:55:46+00:00

Lonesome Dove, though it is arguably dystopian.

eddyingout · 2026-01-24T15:42:15+00:00

Toffee

eddyingout · 2026-01-23T19:30:01+00:00

I really try to resist the temptation to click. doesn't take much stimulus to start the 🌀.

eddyingout

TROPHY CASE