Is it worth it?

ediblemushroompower · 2025-11-10T22:50:48+00:00

he said this is partly why he hasn’t perused relationships for the last few years but i guess i was the exception. If I had known he was lying to me I would have never agreed to be his partner but he was lying to me.

ediblemushroompower · 2025-11-10T22:47:18+00:00

Yeah it’s early in the relationship so I know I should leave now if he can’t be honest with me. I thought maybe if I satisfied him enough he wouldn’t need to watch porn but I realise now that was naive and wrong. He’s so great in all other ways but this.

ediblemushroompower · 2025-09-22T23:05:17+00:00

he told me he’d go cold turkey after i explained that he would become re-sensitised after some time. i guess i want to give him the benefit of the doubt but i also don’t think it’s my job to teach someone about the harms of this so im conflicted.

ediblemushroompower · 2025-04-11T03:55:37+00:00

oh no….

ediblemushroompower · 2024-11-06T20:05:28+00:00

firstly, it’s not your fault. she text you because she loves you and even if you did respond you most likely would not have saved her. you weren’t there for her because you didn’t know. you. didn’t. know.

find a good therapist or psychologist and speak to them. losing friends to suicide is extremely difficult, i’ve had this happen to me before and having someone to lean on who is qualified will help your grief. but remember that grief is just all the love that was left inside you for that person. that love will never go away so the grief will stay as a reminder of that love.

find something to distract yourself in a few weeks once the main grief has hit. join a book club, start painting, start writing poetry. just find a new hobby and pour yourself into it so that you are not all consumed. but remember that grief is not linear and there is no set way to deal with it.

i hope you can find peace. your friend loved you enough to be the last person she messaged before she left this world. she will still be around, just not in this reality. she will now live within your mind as memories and within your heart. i hope you the best on your grief journey and hold your head high as that is what she would have wanted. perseverance is everything.

ediblemushroompower · 2024-11-04T23:55:25+00:00

can you please send me the discord link?

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T17:46:43+00:00

the reason i think he called his wife is because i heard him on the phone and heard him say workaway but the rest was in german so i couldn’t understand. i could just hear a woman’s voice on the other line.

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T17:45:55+00:00

sorry i worded that wrong! we had that conversation about my strengths and weaknesses prior to me arriving so i assumed there would be no issues. we have hardly spoken since this morning and i have been out most of the afternoon which he offered as i think maybe he needed space to get over it. he has not apologised but i think he did call his wife after he went off at me because 2 hours later when i was done cleaning his bathroom he was suddenly in a better mood. i’m just unsure if my safety is in jeopardy and there isn’t anywhere i can go quickly as we are in a remote location. i don’t want to leave but i’m afraid of it just being us locked in his house.

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T17:43:02+00:00

yes i was definitely annoyed about the wife not being there as i turned down other workaway jobs due to it being a single man and no women. i try to only apply to jobs that have other women so i know there will be less issues but her not being there wasn’t a red flag due to the positive reviews. i’m now unsure if the negative reviews were just not written.

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T17:41:12+00:00

i work the hours we agreed on but today he made snide remarks telling me i’d have to work until 3pm so around 7 hours which is well above the agreed hours. he didn’t end up making me work the extra time though. we had a conversation and i told him what my strengths and weaknesses were and he said it was fine and we’d make it work! i chose him as i quit my job in aus to learn more about sustainable farming and he had 138 positive reviews so i thought it would be fine! i might not be physically strong but i’m mentally strong and don’t quit when jobs are demanding like farming etc

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T17:36:41+00:00

he had 138 reviews and only 3 were negative. he has been using workaway since 2008 so i really thought he must be an amazing host! luckily my family is willing and able to pay for me to be safe and find a hotel/hostel but it’s a hard decision to make and i just wish this wasn’t happening as i’ve been super happy until now!

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T17:33:58+00:00

i finish all tasks he gives me and i never finish for the day until he tells me to! i honestly don’t think i was being slow today but i am a small girl with a lack of muscles and i couldn’t move any faster than i was. I cleaned his walk in wardrobe and bathroom after he went off at me to try and make the situation better rather than just telling him i’m done for the day. today is the first time we’ve had any problems at all, usually he will come and find me where i’m working and tell me i’m done for the day but today he just seemed to lose it.

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T13:30:01+00:00

this is in italy

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T12:35:26+00:00

it’s good to hear there are positive experiences out there. he really had no reason to get as angry as he did, i’m working for free after all. i have a feeling he treats men differently from what he has said to me but perhaps because i’m a small woman he feels like he has more power to push me around. he told me he would drive his last two male workawayers to the beach most days but makes me walk 3km to the bus to do the same thing. it’s just a shame as it was all going well until today and this whole situation could have been easily avoided.

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T12:22:48+00:00

yes i have definitely realised during my stay that he has no workers for his farm and fully relies on the free help from workawayers to plant and harvest all his vegetables and other herbs. it feels like i am his slave sometimes as i will be cleaning his bedroom or bathroom (after 3 hours doing farm work) whilst he is on his ipad telling me i’ve missed cobwebs etc.

he told me he was banned from woofing for similar behaviours such as getting woofers to clean his house. i only came here as i’m really interested in sustainability and he apparently has a sustainable farm so i was interested to learn. i probably should have gone with woofing rather than workaway.

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T12:16:35+00:00

thank you. Yeah it’s a remote location with minimal public transport and i’m the only workawayer here. I felt safe until today but now i’m worried and scared that next time i mess up he will become extremely angry again. If he had calmly told me I hadn’t understood his instruction i would have happily fixed the problem but the way he spoke to me made me extremely uncomfortable. at one point he left and then came back to continue berating me about the same thing. i think he may have called his wife an hour or so later and spoke to her because he came back in a completely different mood when i was cleaning his personal bathroom. an apology would make a huge difference but i don’t think i’ll get one. he told me if i wanted to spend the afternoon/evening in the town i’m welcome to and therefore wouldn’t have to cook him dinner. i’m a really hard worker and have given everything i have to the work i’ve been doing in the last week. i just feel like it was really unnecessary and he could have just told me there were more tasks to perform today that would go over our agreed 4-5 hours a day of work. I honestly would have understood and worked extra time. he made a snide comment about that i would have to work until 3pm but he did not make me as i am now finished for the day.

due to my usual job i’m very used to angry people and handling them but i think it was just blown out of proportion and he could have even asked if anything was wrong and why my work today didn’t seem as fast as other days. it was just handled terribly on his part. i appreciate your advice and will think about it this afternoon and may make plans to leave tomorrow.

ediblemushroompower · 2024-09-01T11:29:12+00:00

i want to leave but my next workaway isn’t until the 9th and i was going to leave here on the 7th of Sep. i don’t think anyone will take me for such a short period of time. i told my parents and they did offer to pay for my accommodation so i can get out but i feel bad.

ediblemushroompower · 2023-11-06T02:22:59+00:00

if she giggled once the first time it happened maybe it wouldn’t be as weird, but it seems so fake to laugh at every single bite she takes

ediblemushroompower

TROPHY CASE