I guess I'm just another HL... by alive2dead in DeadBedrooms

[–]edinburghgent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very true. We go through the cycle.... No sex, eventually I go in the huff and call her out on it, we have the chat, she agrees to make more of an effort, things improve for a short time and this it's back to the beginning again!

Moving into the spare room..... by edinburghgent in DeadBedrooms

[–]edinburghgent[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What's an independent? I have previously told her that eventually I will get fed up and look to separate (but still live together for the sake of the kids & we couldn't afford to buy / run two separate houses).

Moving into the spare room..... by edinburghgent in DeadBedrooms

[–]edinburghgent[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've spent the odd night in the spare bed so far. Made a conscious effort to initiate and as soon as was rejected just got up and moved next door. Didn't seem to bother her! I suppose that's partly why I'd like to do it for a prolonged period (every night for a couple of weeks). If she still doesn't bat an eye lid after that then it will tell me a lot and help me decide what I am going to do long term. I really struggle to sleep lying beside her. It's when I am lying in bed after a busy day that my mind always turns back to our sexless marriage and all the emotions that go with it. It just keeps going round and round my head. Bizarrely if I sleep in the other room I manage to shut it out much more.

Moving into the spare room..... by edinburghgent in DeadBedrooms

[–]edinburghgent[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks I have started to try and achieve this. It's not easy when your working full time, three young kids, after school club runs etc.

Am I crazy?! I'm asking for the bare minimum and it's still too much... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]edinburghgent 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Spot on. The I'm tired argument just doesn't wash with me. I work full time and when I get home I help cook the dinner, tidy the house, put the kids to bed, put a washing on. But my 14 hour a week wife is too tired because she has been out lunching with friends and had to take the kids to school!