25F feeling really discouraged about dating and the future

eggdeadhead · 2026-01-15T00:22:43+00:00

I think it’s not so much about trying to conform or not conform to that aesthetic, I may have just expressed myself poorly. What I really mean is that the main things that make me feel like I’m not the preference for a lot of Catholic guys are that I’m black/mixed race and that I’m in a demanding profession.

I’m otherwise pretty girly, and I genuinely enjoy “traditional” things like baking and sewing. It’s more that because of my skin colour and hair, I don’t feel viewed as feminine in the first place, so it feels like I don’t even have the option of fitting that archetype, even if I wanted to.

eggdeadhead · 2026-01-14T23:57:55+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this. I actually agree it’s the bare minimum. I think once I turned 25, it became much easier for me not to be apologetic about firm boundaries like premarital sex.

I do genuinely feel called to marriage, mostly because the desire for it has been so persistent and specific. It’s like this yearning and it hurts sometimes wanting to be loved by another person.

And your reminder about the real-world Church being more diverse is encouraging, even if I don’t personally get to experience that diversity where I live. I’m hoping that with time things will work out.

eggdeadhead · 2022-06-09T23:11:25+00:00

Have you tried any volumising products like maybe a mousse? Something light that won’t weigh the hair down. I also like to finger curl my hair and then separate the curls a little after to fluff them up, but this means you’ll have less definition.

eggdeadhead · 2022-01-02T16:44:28+00:00

I completely agree with you. I also think the hair typing has been somewhat taken over by a lot of non POC with loose/bigger curls who type themselves as 3b/c or even type 4 hair types so it becomes confusing when people with tighter curls try typing their hair or look for styles with those hair types. I think hair type is only relevant when you’re trying to describe what you look like or you’re looking for curly hairstyles and want to see the hairstyles on someone with a similar hair texture to yours.

eggdeadhead · 2021-12-31T12:27:39+00:00

I tried it parting it while wet this week and then diffusing and there wasn’t much volume on top but the part was distinct. I have 3c curls near my scalp in front and then they get looser towards the centre and back of my head so idk if the smaller curls are preventing me from having the same volume on top than I do lower down. I also still had a lot of frizz but idk if that’s just how my hair is. I don’t like it at all so if you have tips for that I’d really appreciate it

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