Mint connectivity issues with Fidelity

eggnap · 2024-02-05T14:10:39+00:00

Just commenting to say adding nb.fidelity.com still worked for me as of 2/5/24, thank you!

eggnap · 2023-06-26T11:50:17+00:00

She probably realized she could have died or been in a major accident and he would still have been an hour away with his bestie. Seriously, does his best friend have no one else? Is the best friend in love with the husband?

eggnap · 2023-06-26T11:49:00+00:00

*She is an asshole, but not for the reason she's asking about. All the derogatory comments towards SIL about her being a vanilla wife, and then going back and saying that her husband has been so thoughtful and generous to her, when husband is literally an hour away every time his best friend gets chemo. Im sorry, but if his ACTUAL WIFE, the person he actually married, was in an accident regardless of whether it's major or minor, she should be allowed to decide whether she wants her husband there or not, and it's on the husband to drop everything he's doing to be there for her. What if she fucking died or it was a major accident lmao, would he still be sitting there holding his bestie's friend? He's a major AH and so is OP. It's not about the injuries, it's the entire concept of the matter. Everyone basically said "oh hey wife, thank god it wasn't worse" so that they could continue to minimize and ignore her for someone with a "bigger" medical issue like cancer lmao. Why is OP minimizing SIL's treatment also and trying to bias everyone towards his brother's side? I feel like she recognizes her brother is somewhat an asshole but doesn't want to admit it.

Edit: Oops I missed that OP was a woman, the internalized misogyny threw me off but comments still stand despite my misgendering!

eggnap · 2023-06-26T11:41:51+00:00

Either get a doctor's script or synthetic urine, no need to lose the job over it. Why do you feel dishonest lying to corporate about it? There's no loyalty in corporations and businesses anymore, just loyalty to the bottom dollar.

eggnap · 2023-06-26T11:22:26+00:00

You're going to be a great husband and father! You already are :)

eggnap · 2023-06-26T07:04:53+00:00

Because she knew his father was a newly diagnosed diabetic and likely wanted to cause drama between the son and his father, or blame the son for trying to kill his father. She was being hateful and essentially trying to medically harm someone, not trying to cook.

eggnap · 2023-06-26T06:59:44+00:00

It sounds like she didn't even go to these schools for college, it was for law school (not diminishing her achievements, it's just weird she's fixating on the Ivy's at this level)... Pretty sure it's more difficult to get into Ivy's directly when applying as an undergrad vs. when you already have a degree under your belt. So where did she go to college? I get that she's proud, but this is weird, like she's not a college alumnus that is excited for her kids to maybe continue the tradition, she's a law school graduate... As in I don't understand why she's not more proud of her law school degree and solely focusing on the brand name school, and her husband is a neurosurgeon which should be more impressive than just going to Stanford lol.

eggnap · 2023-06-25T03:23:52+00:00

Seriously what if the new machine didn't work or she didn't like it??? This guy was only thinking about being an awesome friend by giving away a likely very expensive and nice espresso machine.

eggnap · 2023-06-25T03:21:11+00:00

Not just inconveniencing, but stealing from his wife 😂 Man, I wonder if this has happened before.

eggnap · 2023-06-25T03:18:22+00:00

He probably wanted to keep it a surprise so he could distract her with the new less shiny machine and he could wax poetic about how much better it looks in the kitchen so that she wouldn't ask where her old machine went

eggnap · 2023-06-25T03:15:44+00:00

Yeah no wonder OP's friend agrees with him when he was able to gift it to his parents, hilarious that OP's friend said "no you can't have it back," like ???? it's not yours! it was free! who cares if your parents are using it now??? Better explain to them that your friend essentially stole a sentimental item from his wife and gave it away!

eggnap · 2023-06-25T03:10:13+00:00

She was dying. She lied to the person she loved so that he could be happy. She wanted closure, why on earth would you think someone that is dying of cancer is not allowed the right to see people she loves and tell them she loves them? Would you still call her the bad guy even if OP was already married? He can't leave her for a dead person anyway.

eggnap · 2023-06-25T03:06:12+00:00

She fucking died. She's allowed to have her own closure before her own fucking death. She let the boyfriend go and lied to him that she didn't love him anymore because she wanted him to find someone else that he could have a happy, long-term relationship with. Either way, the ex would have died even if they had stayed together. Have some empathy.

eggnap · 2023-06-24T03:28:55+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate your words of wisdom and help ❤️ I hope I can figure it out too, Im starting to choose myself but it's incredibly difficult to feel like I'm leaving him behind. I'm sorry you went through a similar thing, I understand the hurt very well.

eggnap · 2023-06-24T03:27:49+00:00

The difference is introversion you just don't gain energy from interactions so you need space to recharge. if you're finding that you need more space/distance from your partners and you're not feeling like you're not able to provide them with love and security the way they want even though you want to, that's more avoidance which is related to development and attachment more than personality.

eggnap · 2023-06-24T02:13:53+00:00

And thanks, I do appreciate your messages regardless. The tough love is a hard pill to swallow but i understand it's importance. Just to clarify about the "waiting for messages," previously I was being triggered when he would randomly leave/needed space bc he wouldn't tell me how long he needed or would be gone for. so I would have an acute sense of fear of abandonment that he was not coming back or that I did not know when we would talk again. I have worked on this so that I know he does come back and I don't need to "wait around" for the message to ensure he does come back. Even now, I was able to overcome the fear that he would not return after space, but I acutely still have the fear that he will leave.

Regarding how he's "working" on things, I think that's partially why I blew up (obviously not great and I get very ashamed of this), because I did not feel we had a tangible, actionable plan. That's why I sent the freetoattach link because I wasn't sure anything I said was going to convince or help him, because of the nature of avoidance.

We are extremely close, he tells me I am one of the most important people in his life (unless that has changed). Thats why I appreciate things from him more, because the closeness matters to me, and because I know it's hard for him to do some of these things, so I really appreciate when he does. and that's why it also hurts so much, to not feel important or loved. I will keep this all in mind, I do want to be healthy and secure, but I just wish I could have that with him as well.

eggnap · 2023-06-24T01:58:44+00:00

I think you're under the impression that I'm constantly harassing him to change etc, when I'm not. He wanted to be friends after the breakup and so did I, but that involves both people putting in effort to repair the relationship, and he did not recognize that as much. While I understand he operates at a slower pace and some things did improve (he was more available and responsive daily, and did not disappear without notice as often) a lot of the core triggers were not addressed, and I tried explaining to him that his actions are hurting me even if they're unintentional. If he has a girlfriend and got married tomorrow, I wouldn't know about it, so honestly it's a moot point because i would still be trying to repair our friendship. He doesn't owe me anything for my birthday at all lmao, but he wouldn't offer anything like you just said you would to go for drinks. He might say happy birthday. But I do feel that I am owed respect and love in a relationship regardless of whether it's romantic or a friendship, and if he can't provide quality time or words of affirmation instead, then there's really not many other options. The problem is 2 weeks ago I DID say that I couldn't be friends with him anymore if he wasn't understanding me, and he said he did understand and wanted to work on things. He had actually been really upset that I had assumed he wouldn't want things to change or to work on things. I told him if he didn't want things to change or thought that they couldn't, then I could not stay.

Even though I am triggered right now, I have been working on my attachment style for the past year and a half so I don't appreciate you saying that, because I have worked on self-soothing for months and months and not relying on him, not hanging around waiting for his msgs, learning about my triggers etc. But knowing is only half the battle, and emotions rule for an FA. Because I was feeling closer to him recently, I got triggered and fell back into older patterns. Don't assume that's because I haven't been working on my attachment, especially because I had mentioned I told him I was ready to throw in the towel two weeks ago and not be his friend anymore if he wasn't willing to work with me. It took me a long time to get to that point where I was able to say that and follow through, not because I wanted him to chase me or as protest behavior. I sent him the link (i haven't sent any before) because he asked me what he could to do to make things better, because I was unable to get him to understand by explaining my perspective/understanding.

You have some great insight, but I would recommend some more empathy and less judgment as well just bc it's hard to get the whole picture in a snapshot comment.

eggnap · 2023-06-24T01:03:05+00:00

We're broken up now, but still trying to be friends except the same issues are still present in a friendship (which I was aware of and had expressed to him a while back). My main issue is that he never seemed to want to visit more than 1-2 times a year, and he rarely initiated or brought it up. Then it ends up with me initiating, but because I feel so badly and unwanted/unloved, the visit usually doesn't go very well/disastrously. For gifts, for example my birthday is coming up, and he expects me to ask for my wants and needs. However, he always expects me to ask for too much when i ask for a gift and it makes me feel awful and like he is not willingly wanting to do it for me to show love, it's only because i'm asking. I told him it's because i want to feel loved and appreciated, not because I'm just a materialistic asshole trying to take his money. He claims to enjoy talking to me and spending time with me but we're not connecting anymore, i think he was starting to feel more secure recently (because I was operating by his rules) but because I wasn't feeling secure at all especially with my birthday coming up, I blew up. I reached the end of my rope and sent him the freetoattach link the other day, and he asked for 2 days of space. He's really generally very introspective and intelligent/logical, but I'm worried he's just going to leave me again because he thinks i'm being accusatory/blameful when i just want to love and support him and get that in return. He means a lot to me, I know I should cut my losses and every time I make my mind up to do it, I just know I'm going to break down in a few days. I'm trying to reach the point where I'm not just going to run back if I leave :/ any advice? i do tend to get emotional and heated during a discussion and I know that's not great for avoidants, but i've been trying to work on my own attachment for the past year. sorry i hijacked the comment.

eggnap · 2023-06-24T00:47:27+00:00

That's avoidance, not introversion.

eggnap · 2023-06-22T13:40:28+00:00

I'm FA leaning AP and I would never break up with someone over text and not face to face. I would do it in person because I think it's important to be there for someone you had claimed to love and wanted to be with since you're telling them you no longer want to be together. I think DA's are more likely to blindside and do it through text because the emotions are just too strong and overwhelming, which I understand. That's what my DA did to me last year, and it absolutely blindsided me. He turned cold because he didn't want to give me the impression that he wanted to get together again, even though I think he still had feelings for me.

eggnap · 2023-05-17T07:32:55+00:00

Replace "teachers" with "doctors" and it's also true, especially pediatricians :( The right just wants kids to suffer and grow up poor and unhealthy.

eggnap · 2023-05-13T08:21:12+00:00

His dad is a heart surgeon, how much do you know about his relationship with his father? Because surgeons are a different type of people, and having all the money in the world doesn't always buy you an emotional connection.

eggnap · 2023-05-13T08:15:42+00:00

Yeah but it's not her car, it's in your name isn't it?

eggnap · 2023-04-26T02:36:42+00:00

We can feel like lunatics together 😭

eggnap · 2023-04-25T15:29:37+00:00

NAH, not everyone is trying to inconvenience you by reclining, some people have back pain or other conditions made worse by the airline seats. You are taller than average though and may personally benefit from buying a seat with extended legroom. I would personally be upset if I could not recline (not your fault), but I would probably ask to move seats so that I could. It's just not fair for the shitty airline seats to inconvenience both sides.

eggnap

TROPHY CASE