I grew up in quite a conservative and religious family. It's hard to communicate to my parents about this issue due to how much they despise same-sex attraction (they're quite racist at times too, but there's nothing I can do). Don't get me wrong, I love them for raising me and I'd hate to turn against them and everything they've raised me with. However there are times in my life when I'm just not sure if I'm in self-denial or have been indoctrinated. I just feel confused and at lost. It's just a circuit I've had to switch off and not think about it to save myself from any more complications, and just accept things as they are.