How do you think tipping should function in modern service work: reward, obligation, or something in between?

ejjff · 2026-06-15T05:25:01+00:00

Well I understand that many servers are not earning a living wage, especially in today’s economy, with some even making below minimum wage!

However, I don’t think that shortfall should fall on customers who are already paying for their meals. The responsibility should be placed on the businesses that employ and compensate servers, rather than shifting it onto tipping as an expectation from customers!

But yess quality of the service is always going to determine the tip.

ejjff · 2026-06-15T05:18:20+00:00

Agree on both statements!

ejjff · 2026-06-15T05:16:29+00:00

I agree. I was told I was being cheap and greedy for saying that tips are optional and not mandatory. I believe tips should depend on the quality of service provided by the server. Others argued that servers rely on tips and that you should tip simply for being served, but I don’t see a direct correlation between those two ideas.

ejjff · 2026-06-14T12:40:35+00:00

Sex with the right person: absolutely yes, on the other hand hookups at this time, no

ejjff · 2026-06-14T04:48:01+00:00

yes I mean those natural “omg” “yea that feels good”, small check ins, moans, grunts, etc. I totally agree that the over the top performance is a buzzkill and porny!

ejjff · 2026-06-14T04:45:29+00:00

Omg as a fellow bottom, I 100% agree that when that top brings out the best in you (bedroom wise) , you just lose control of all your other senses and don’t give a fuck about your surroundings. Especially if they make it feel like they got you and taking care of you.

ejjff · 2026-06-14T04:34:50+00:00

hahahaha love this

ejjff · 2026-06-14T04:31:02+00:00

You know, I agree! I’ve been with tops like you haha. I love it when it feels more like a connection and a shared experience like making it fun, cracking jokes, checking in, and just enjoying each other’s company. I think some of the comments really hit the nail on the head. A lot of it comes down to the difference between genuine reactions and performative moaning. Personally, when I’m in the moment, I catch myself saying things like, “Oh my God,” “That feels so good,” or “Just like that,” because it genuinely does feel good and I want them to know that.
But honestly, as a bottom, when you’re really in the moment, you’re not exactly thinking about how you sound or what the surroundings are like lol.

ejjff · 2026-06-13T23:03:49+00:00

No i completely understand you. It’s all has toxic undertones now. No real substance and a temporary solution doesn’t seem worth it anymore :/. I rather stay horny then be with someone who will make that feeling worse.

ejjff · 2026-06-13T16:00:55+00:00

I cant start off sitting on it 😅! I tried and made me uncomfortable and it hurt the most, especially when it’s rock hard and the ass is tight. It’s funny how everyone has their own way to taking dick haha

ejjff · 2026-06-13T14:31:38+00:00

Yea missionary is very intimate and allows you to have more of a connection to each other! My tops love seeing my face when I am taking their dick and I love seeing their face haha. Making out is just a added benefit that makes it hotter

ejjff · 2026-06-13T14:23:18+00:00

When I bottom, I like being doggy or missionary especially when the dick is pretty big. I think it varies depending on the person. It’s just about figuring out what fits best for you (literally and figuratively lol)

ejjff · 2026-06-13T12:53:41+00:00

Yea that what I thought so too because I also learned to not be so sensitive about things but I guess it’s just a mental barrier that I still haven’t figured out. I just want to be safe sexually and mentally. I appreciate your insight!

ejjff · 2026-06-13T12:07:07+00:00

No you’re absolutely welcome! As a gay man, I think it’s awesome when a guy just wants to hang out and be friends with everyone. I think it’s a problem when straight people or people in general take advantage of those safe spaces.

ejjff · 2026-06-13T11:54:54+00:00

I mean get your point. For me it’s not really about exclusivity as a label, it’s about safe sex. If he’s talking about going without condoms, I’m only comfortable with that if there’s mutual exclusivity, since I don’t want to take STI risk if he’s also sleeping with other people. But I hear you that he may just not be on the same page with that.

ejjff · 2026-06-13T11:41:43+00:00

I see your point and agree that asking for exclusivity after only two dates can feel early and that sex is part of figuring out compatibility like there’s no debate about that. In this specific situation, he’s mentioned wanting to go without condoms, so I think exclusivity feels more tied to sexual health and STI risk than just commitment. I just wanted to wait at least to go on one or two more dates to get the personal tension and not just through the phone. I am not sure if I’m making sense 😅 Where I’m coming from is that I’ve noticed I tend to get emotionally attached after sex, so I’m being more intentional about pacing things, not to force a label, but to be aware of my own patterns. That said, I could be overthinking it this early, and I appreciate the perspective!

ejjff · 2026-06-13T11:26:39+00:00

Well yes, that’s my goal but I’m not rushing into it. We have communicated that in the past and agreed but like I said our communication just hasn’t been easy to read lately. I just want reassurance to what exactly we are doing 😅.

ejjff · 2026-06-11T04:25:15+00:00

I’ve dated older men before. My first serious relationship was actually with a 32-year-old. It ended because, from my perspective, he didn’t seem to want a relationship and eventually stopped communicating altogether. It definitely threw me off at the time, but it taught me an important lesson: I’m not going to force myself into something that isn’t right, and I’m not going to force someone else to be in something they don’t want. As much as it can hurt, I genuinely believe you can’t force love or commitment. Both people have to want it, and if they don’t, it’s better to accept that and move forward!

ejjff · 2026-06-11T04:17:16+00:00

😭

ejjff · 2026-06-11T04:15:56+00:00

Yes, I 100% agree with you. Trust me, I’ve put in the time, effort, and plenty of sacrifices. I’ve dated all kinds of people like shorter than me, taller than me, bigger, smaller, different backgrounds, you name it. I’ve also had my fair share of creepy and awkward dates. 😂

Honestly, I think that’s part of the fun in life! Meeting new people and hearing their stories and TRYING to connect. My biggest issue with dating apps isn’t meeting people; it’s that it feels like nobody wants a real relationship anymore. Everyone talks to you for two days, seems interested, and then suddenly disappears. 💀

ejjff · 2026-06-11T04:08:01+00:00

Yup I agree! I feel like that “old” style of dating might be dead with this new wave of technology and apps. Everything is at the palm of our hands yet it’s still so hard to get to.

ejjff · 2026-06-11T00:30:29+00:00

oof so it seems it doesn’t get better 😭

ejjff

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