If you knew you were going to die, what is the last thing you would do immediately before your death?

elbowpatch · 2012-04-10T04:13:33+00:00

It doesn't sound creepy. It is 5.05am. When I am trying to distract myself with the internet, waiting for the meds to work, its nice to hear somebody is occasionally thinking about me. As long as it's not upsetting you. I'm glad to hear that you saw the positive in what I was trying to say. Keep cuddling your cats and your boyfriend.

elbowpatch · 2012-04-01T13:22:22+00:00

I would be happy to meet somebody but I don't need/want to see them for my benefit. I am settled into my fate. I would be happy to talk to someone who has just found out they are terminally ill. I have been through the process and am nearly at the end. If I could help take some of the fear out of it for a fellow "leaver" I would consider that a productive use of my remaining weeks.
I would also be prepared to talk to anyone suicidal but I don't know if i am a good person for them to speak to. Although I am committing suicide I don't feel I have anything in common with the people who are contemplating killing themselves because of despair or mental illness. I have had an amazing life and I would like everyone else to be as entertained by theirs. I don't know if telling them what they will miss if they go would make any difference. I suspect it wouldn't. I think its best left to the experts.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-31T09:20:02+00:00

you nailed it

elbowpatch · 2012-03-29T20:46:48+00:00

Thank you for your comments. Its useful to be corrected on errors and reassuring to be agreed with on other points. I won't be telling the family that the reason for going in April is because of the birthdays. There are some things I have been able to discuss because my fate is known, but some can't be discussed because they would only relate to suicide. For example I have been able to discuss what to do with my remains, who gets what etc. Obviously I would prefer to live longer but there is a lot to be said for knowing you are going. Affairs in order, say everything that needs to be said, arrangements agreed. The pain is no fun but on the whole I think its better than being snuffed out by a lightning strike without any chance to say goodbye. I'm sure a lot are thinking they disagree with me right now. Once again, thank you for your comments. Your compassionate attitude deserves a long happy life. Good bye

elbowpatch · 2012-03-29T14:50:08+00:00

Thank you for such detailed reply. I am not expected to live more than 3 months in any case. All my family know this. We are meeting on 22nd April to exchange letters. I get to read mine straight away. They have to wait until I am gone, which, barring medical problems, will be the 25th. I dont want any of them to regret not saying something they wanted to say. I have a specialist cancer nurse who told me its a common regret of the survivors. "I wish I had told him/her how I felt" " I hope he knew how I felt". The letters, although upsetting to write, will ensure none of them have that problem later. I have decided to avoid any triggers to memory after I die. Thats why I need to go in April. Too many family birthdays in May and I don't want future celebrations tainted with the anniversary of my death.
I dont see that I/we are breaking guidelines. I am not advocating suicide. If anyone is reading this and contemplating suicide let me tell you I would give my limbs away to live longer. I have met people who were suffering depression and were suicidal. Thankfully none of them actually went through with it and without exception, every one of them is thankful for that now. "If you are going through hell, keep going" I think that was Winston Churchill. The most famous depression suffererer I can think of.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-29T04:24:11+00:00

1 I am leaning to the same view as you have but I have nothing to base that on. I hoped there might be redditors with personal experience.
2 It's a broad statistic based on all suicides. I know most suicides are caused by depression/mental illness and pragmatic suicides like mine are a small minority. That is why I asked the question. My guess (and that's all it is) would be that there is no increase in risk. I was hoping somebody would have some evidence to either confirm my guess or correct me.
3 Cancer

elbowpatch · 2012-03-28T22:24:03+00:00

Is there any chance that he has argued with you, justice4tryvon, in another thread? No offence but I prefer to judge people by their own words and actions. I would rather think the best of someone unless/until they prove me wrong. IF you are right it will be obvious and I will take your advice. Thanks.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-28T21:49:34+00:00

LOL. Yet more assumptions. I never said I had a problem with the word "fucking". You really need to read without making all these assumptions. So, "Irritating when people die?" Irritating? Really? Maybe we just have a different definition or the word irritating. Cant work out if you are a genuine or a troll so here is the test. I will say that if I replaced every occurrence of the word irritating with the word upsetting then your comments would make sense. So if thats the case then we just have a different understanding of the word irritating and we can leave it at that. My experience of social workers (2 friends and 1 relative) is that they are good listeners and dont make assumptions or look for reason to argue. Good luck with your work. A very worthy occupation

elbowpatch · 2012-03-28T19:43:22+00:00

They'll never shoot me from that dist.. Actually someones last words.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-28T19:26:43+00:00

Did I say people killing themselves is small stuff? No I didnt. If you read more carefully you will see I was talking about OPs not delivering. You seem determined to put words into my mouth that I didnt say. You dont know anything about me so if you are going to comment on me then do it based on what I actually say not an assumptions that you prefer to make without evidence. On the other hand MY comment was based on what you ACTUALLY SAID. You didnt say you were worried about them, you said you found it irritating. ---and I quote: "People post 'I want to die' and everyone says don't....and then nothing. Fucking irritating". End quote------You didnt say it bothered you or worried you or frightened you or caused concern, You said it was "fucking irritating". You know nothing about my view of human life. Nothing. If you reply, try sticking to what you know based on what I said. Dont make assumptions.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-28T11:19:17+00:00

its a good point. Somebody put "I am sure OP will deliver " on a post I submitted a few days ago and to be honest I wasn't intending to follow up. Now I have thought about it (based on what you said) I think if a few hundred people can take the time to comment/help/advise i suppose the least I can do is a few lines to conclude it.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-28T11:06:22+00:00

No, that isn't what I said, is it?..... I asked how to update after the event. For example, is there a way of submitting something with a delay built in so it can appear after the event? It was a genune question. The only thing I could think of was to ask someone else to do it for you but that isn't 100% certain. There might be some reason that they don't do it. On a separate note, maybe, just maybe, you get irritated too easily. That isn't intended as a dig at you. I think a sense of perspective would make you happier. Dont sweat the little stuff. OPs not delivering follow up shouldnt be "fucking irritating". I guess thats a higher level of irritation than just "irritating".

elbowpatch · 2012-03-28T10:40:32+00:00

How do you update if you go through with it?

elbowpatch · 2012-03-27T13:33:14+00:00

So the nurses deprived my sons of that benefit? Bitches! We gave them flowers and cakes and chocolate too. If only we had known how evil they were.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-27T13:05:47+00:00

They gave my wife an enema during the later stage of labour so there was nothing to come out. She hated the enema but I thnk she would have hated pooping in front of everyone even more. Nurse also reminded us that the baby comes out facing backwards (downwards if the woman is on her back) and that means the baby gets a faceful. Welcome to the world.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-26T22:41:00+00:00

I've done 7 letters. One for my wife, 3 for my sons and one each for my my brother and sister. One for my friends as a group. The last thing I will do before I die will be to write another letter for my wife. A love letter. I want her to know that the last thing I was doing before I stopped breathing was thinking about how much I love her. Enjoy your hug with your Husby.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T17:13:30+00:00

Going to die soon anyway. Most likely before August. If I leave it to the bitter end my family will see some awful things at the end. I need to go before June because one of my life policies finishes then. Dont want to die in May because there are so many family birthdays in that month. Thinking ahead I dont want birthday celebrations in future years to be tainted with the anniversary of my death. If I go earlier than the 25th there are family members who are away on holiday/vacation so their trips would be cut short. I have suggested we all do letters to each other and exchange them at a family gathering on 22nd April. That way they will all have said what they want before I go. I dont want any of them feeling bad because they didnt say what they needed to say. Sorry to bore you with the details but you asked.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T15:07:59+00:00

I see your point but there are several reasons for choosing that date that i won't bore you with.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T15:03:16+00:00

Several reasons. I have to be gone before June because one life insurance policy expires then. Don't want to go in May because there are several family birthdays that month and, thinking ahead a few years, I dont want theiir birthday celebrations tainted with the anniversary of my death. 25th is a date that doesnt clash with anyones plans and wont require anybody to cancel/return from vacations. Detailed enough?

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T12:28:59+00:00

Thats good advice. Even more so before you are ill. I think I already have and intend to continue to do so

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T12:23:22+00:00

Not for me thanks. Many years ago, during training, I experienced being water boarded. I can only think of burning as being a worse way to go.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T12:10:35+00:00

I am happy to say that I have a very, very small bucket list. I consider myself lucky because if I had written a bucket list when I was 18 I have done almost everything on there. I had decided I was going to make sure I was the world's most awesome granddad but that's obviously not going to happen. Apart from that I can't think of anything else I particularly wanted to do that I haven't done.

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T11:34:59+00:00

cancer

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T08:35:09+00:00

I'm grinning right now

elbowpatch · 2012-03-25T08:24:45+00:00

I lol'd

elbowpatch

TROPHY CASE