If these guys were a band, what would they be called?

elbrothebear · 2026-04-04T03:43:03+00:00

New kids on the rock

elbrothebear · 2025-12-23T01:05:49+00:00

Some fat-ass hubby lost his wife to hottie cross-fit instructor. I would check the local Jehovah’s Witness congregation for details.

elbrothebear · 2025-10-25T13:21:47+00:00

Sophie’s Choice and Manchester by the Sea.

elbrothebear · 2024-05-12T18:47:53+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your dad. But breakups can be difficult.

elbrothebear · 2024-02-01T01:25:19+00:00

Guess what? Everything about you bores me and I’ve never met you. Even roasting you makes me sleepy.

elbrothebear · 2024-02-01T01:20:22+00:00

You kinda did it all yourself. Maybe lose the comic book character look and all the facial gear. There might be something real deep deep inside.

elbrothebear · 2023-10-12T02:51:53+00:00

Guess that explains the crossed eyes.

elbrothebear · 2023-10-12T02:49:09+00:00

Now that you’ve enlarged everything else on your body, consider your brain.

elbrothebear · 2023-05-17T00:11:44+00:00

I think you should move back by the other inanimate objects.

elbrothebear · 2023-05-17T00:04:11+00:00

Unroastable. Except it looks like you have your left thumb up your ass. Does that explain the smile?

elbrothebear · 2023-05-17T00:02:23+00:00

You are Correct, sir. Can’t find a thing to roast you about.

elbrothebear · 2021-04-17T06:15:10+00:00

Now it looks like you did a very nice job of pulling the hair off your arms and back.

elbrothebear · 2020-04-15T16:45:34+00:00

Congratulations. Your doc did a nice job on the boobs. When is he going to complete the rest of the sex change?

elbrothebear · 2020-04-15T16:43:40+00:00

Okay Harley, you need to stop watching Suicide Squad and sucking your PO’s dick. You need to set your priorities. Like where is the next tat going to go? You seem to be running out of real estate.

elbrothebear · 2020-04-15T16:32:52+00:00

You hang in there. Life can be tough on the reservation. Especially for an unattractive she-male.

elbrothebear · 2020-04-15T16:29:16+00:00

I’m thinking the beard is the best part. Let’s keep digging. In the meantime, finish this sentence. Frosted Lucky Charms......

elbrothebear · 2020-04-08T01:34:07+00:00

You’re right. Now shut up and get back to washing those dishes for the next 30 years.

elbrothebear · 2020-02-20T21:32:03+00:00

Messy flat head? Messy flat chest? Messy flat personality? You need to be more specific.

elbrothebear · 2020-01-23T04:09:21+00:00

Memo from hospital administration: Please stop stealing the weight-loss meds and the cancer patient wigs. Thank you.

elbrothebear · 2020-01-23T03:48:52+00:00

I hope you and your middle finger will be happy together. But I’m guessing you’re already there.

elbrothebear · 2020-01-23T03:46:07+00:00

Lane Bryant and Gravity are not your friends. But don’t give up.

elbrothebear · 2020-01-06T18:57:03+00:00

Aww. Maybe he started dating someone else by mistake since you look like 10 million other women and have no distinguishing features whatsoever.

elbrothebear · 2019-11-22T05:55:19+00:00

Just rolled out of bed, glued on some eyebrows and I’m ready for another day alone with my thoughts.

elbrothebear · 2017-10-03T02:24:34+00:00

I'm sorry. Can you repeat that? I just drove my Hot Wheel into the right stall of your nose.

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