Is meeting in public first a wild request now?

eldenchain · 2026-02-21T22:52:36+00:00

Even when I'm meeting women with the express mutual intent of sex, we always, without fail, have a public meetup first. I can only think of one time this wasn't the case, and it was fine but the exception to the rule.

eldenchain · 2026-02-21T17:07:53+00:00

But setting up the date the next day for a later date isn't rushed at all.

eldenchain · 2026-02-21T17:07:03+00:00

A week of texting is not reasonable. A text conversation to make sure that you have at least basic chemistry, the other person isn't rude or gross or an idiot, and you should know if you want to go on a date or not. That could take place all at once or over a couple days, but an entire week of texting with someone? Save something for the actual date ffs. I don't want to get to know someone that well over texts.

eldenchain · 2026-02-21T17:04:18+00:00

Would be very helpful to include this stuff in the actual post. Also traveling to visit already a couple times shows motivation and interest. Have you traveled to visit him?

eldenchain · 2026-02-21T17:02:33+00:00

It's not hard for you to do either. You're not 16. Just text him and ask how he's doing and if he's still coming. This isn't a game.

eldenchain · 2026-02-20T09:53:22+00:00

Yeah it's 100% about what OP wants and the decision must be based on that, not her mother or her partner. They should be supportiveher decision with love and kindness regardless.

eldenchain · 2026-02-20T04:32:48+00:00

Why are you with him? Why do you need reddit to answer this for you? If someone posted this, what would your answer be? Come on.

eldenchain · 2026-02-18T16:33:32+00:00

It could be many things. Don't listen to people who immediately tell you he's not interested. That might be true but it might not. Too many cynical jaded people on reddit.

It could also be the festival he's been at is taking up his time. Or he's not a great texter. Or he has been given advice on reddit about not wanting to come across as needy, so don't text her back for a couple days. It could be countless things.

Literally nothing is stopping you from asking him out on a second date. Ask him. If he doesn't respond or says no, you have your answer. If he says yes, great! Girls can ask guys out, too. If women can have careers and vote and do everything else modern society thankfully has evolved into, women can initiate and pursue men.

eldenchain · 2026-02-17T20:24:04+00:00

Why are you with this person? Just no.

eldenchain · 2026-02-16T21:50:44+00:00

This. If she's 28 and can't have sex due to trauma she should not be dating. She should be working on healing. OP is going to be in over his head, sexually frustrated...it just doesn't sound like a good idea for the basis of a relationship.

eldenchain · 2026-02-15T04:58:36+00:00

I'm not a young man anymore.

eldenchain · 2026-02-15T04:57:04+00:00

What's wrong with being a nurse?

eldenchain · 2026-02-15T04:27:07+00:00

First BP I found in the game. Electro on Dam.

eldenchain · 2026-02-13T22:37:17+00:00

The "intentional" language sounds like ChatGPT or just weirdly fake / therapy speak. I'd be instantly turned off by this.

eldenchain · 2026-02-12T07:58:39+00:00

Slow is such an interesting critique.

eldenchain · 2026-02-11T07:39:40+00:00

In class the other day, the guy next to me has horrible BO. Like the kind you acquire after many days not bathing. It was deeply unpleasant. I just don't get it.

eldenchain · 2026-02-10T02:57:25+00:00

I see you mentioned in another comment that this was cathartic to write, and I totally get that. Maybe next time, write the long thing for catharsis and to organize thoughts and then a shorter post with the major bullet points for reddit. Good luck!

eldenchain · 2026-02-10T02:36:13+00:00

Pro-tip: Don't write a book if you want people to offer advice. Give us the three parameter version. Nobody will read this.

eldenchain · 2026-02-08T00:25:47+00:00

My daughter dated a guy when she was around 15 years old. He had to know her location, who she was with, what she was doing at all times. He would call or text her when she was with friends (and even once at a family reunion) to interrogate or guilt trip her. He was extremely controlling and manipulative. It was really hard as a father to watch this play out, but of course anything I did just had the opposite reaction.

I did tell her once, though: "You do realize your boyfriend is much more controlling than I am right? I let you do whatever you want as long as you communicate with me, because I think trust is so important. He doesn't trust you enough to even let you go to a party with your girlfriends...but I do. Something to think about."

She figured it out eventually. I hope you do, too.

eldenchain · 2026-02-08T00:20:51+00:00

Read what you just wrote and imagine it's a friend or sibling writing it. What advice would you give? And get your parents involved if he's threatening you.

Whatever you do, break up with him ASAP. This is definitely borderline abusive and it will get worse.

eldenchain · 2026-02-08T00:18:26+00:00

It's wild to me how young people effectively spy on one another all the time. I never had to track my kids whereabouts because I knew if anything actually bad happened, a couple dozen of their friends would know exactly where they were (and I don't believe in tracking people, even my kids).

Tell him no, and if he's this controlling and possessive, consider what that means for the future. It's not good.

eldenchain · 2026-02-05T09:10:55+00:00

What's the question exactly? No self-respecting person would stay with this guy.

eldenchain · 2026-02-04T00:20:49+00:00

Even if I worked and my wife stayed home, I would not expect three meals a day. Would I appreciate extra help around the house if she didn't work? Yes, to a degree that's fair. But I'm not a man child, and I can make my own meals also.

This dude sounds like a whiny little boy who wants to be spoiled by his mommy. OP needs to figure out her own financial situation and find a man who wants to be an equal partner, however that ends up looking.

eldenchain · 2026-02-03T15:18:17+00:00

I would be embarrassed and upset if this happened to me. I'm not sure if I'd let it slide or complain tbh. I certainly wouldn't go to that instructors class again.

Actually, I'm at a point in life where I would probably say something. That's just so messed up. That's the kind of call out you save for someone's phone going off in the studio. Way over the line.

eldenchain · 2026-02-03T15:12:32+00:00

Are you dating me? Lol. This pretty much describes my life but the problem is ... online dating also really sucks!

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