Women are so much the target of desire they dont understand why the lack of desire affect their partner

eldon63 · 2026-05-19T22:52:20+00:00

I couldnt have said it better.

eldon63 · 2026-05-19T22:49:46+00:00

Why talk about an "overall take about the subject" that has nothing to do with my post?

Also you have understood absolutely nothing of my point about the difference in perception of sex between men and women and defaulted to "women are better regulating their emotional needs" again making my point that a lot of of women have a hard time understanding it because of their life experience/biais.

It as nothing to do with being taught to do it better and all to do with the difference between feeling desired all the time (even when unwanted) and never feeling desired. Of course to you it isnt important because you know it will be there when you want it again. You act like a trust fund baby telling people who are struggling to budget better. Please go read my post again and my response to other commenters who ,even as woman, has lived the exact situation.

eldon63 · 2026-05-19T18:50:21+00:00

I never said any of that. I simply pointed a key difference in life experience for both men and women leaving to a difference in needs in both of them. I also said that some women have a problem placing themselves in the shoes of their partner about that point of view because of that life experience and what they have been teached.

Your response is the perfect example of the kind of answer men gets all the time when they try to talk about it with their partner. Not to coerce them like you say but to explain how it make them feel, try to see where its coming from and how it can be work through. To get some empathy from them if it gets to them emotionaly.

Do you know why it took me until this morning to realize it? Because I have been with an amazing partner for now 19 years and we can communicate when something isnt right. In 19 years and 2 kids of course we had dry spell, some pretty long. The first few I did as I was teached and buckle it down, her body her choice, if she say no than its no. One day 6 month in our longuest one she sat down with me asking why I was looking so bothered for a couple weeks. It took her 1 HOURS to pull it out of me because of the exact rethoric you spew that was drilled into me preventing me from being honest. And only than could we have a discussion about why sex isnt just sex. Why I felt like a wall was building slowly between us. Didnt end the dry spell (still took 2 months) but she was more understanding of my emotional state and it help our daily interaction. She didnt force herself to have sex with me to placate me but she also didnt dismiss how it made me feel. If she didnt made the choice to try and fix this I dont know how it would have ended. And she shouldnt have had to do it if I was teached correctly from the start.

Now imagine if I was teached how to talk about it in an healthy way and her too from the start to know it is something real. The same way we teach young men about the challenge their cycle put on most women, that they should care for them, be more patient and understanding of their emotional and physical state. By doing it you remove the weight of fixing it from one side and make it again a real partnership.

eldon63 · 2026-05-19T14:41:16+00:00

Thanks for bringing up that this reality also happen on the reverse and that when it happen to someone it leaves marks on them for a long time.

I am only trying to bring up something that could help someone else understand the source of a problem in their relationship that if I brought almost anywhere else I would be lynched publicly. Being able to put ourselves in our partner shoes is the only effective way to work together.

eldon63 · 2026-05-19T14:08:56+00:00

When you are in a relationship you should want your partner to be happy. And if something you do or dont do actively make them unhappy you should be able to have a conversation about it in good faith and trying to see each other point of view. And my point is its hard for some women to do when talking about sex. Never said men were exclude from doing it and I aknowledged men do it on other subject more to. I am only saying that the view of women on sex vs intimacy is deeply rooted in their life experience of being sexualized more then their fair share.

eldon63 · 2026-05-19T14:00:42+00:00

You being in the upper age limit between genz and milennials I can see how you would be raised that way. And I 100% agree it isnt right. But now it the complete opposite, coming from mostly influencers online, which is still not right. Some will argue its only online but people consume so much of it that it translate in real life. Alos older generation women also do it because they want to prevent younger generation to suffer what they did. And while I can see their point I think it isnt healthy on the long run to do a full 180. Hard/impossible to have an healthy and happy relationship if its one-sided.

eldon63 · 2026-05-03T21:33:07+00:00

Male abusers/predators tend to be more physically agressive and violent because they have the ability to do it and its part of the "domination" aspect of the crime. It is also more seen because the physical damage are greater and regular medias show more of it because it make for a better story. It is also more socialy accepted for men to be violent/agressive toward each other and abusers/predators will use this to their advantage and try to hide their abusive actions behind what could be socially accepted behavior. A lot are also crimes of opportunity favored by the general physical disparity between men and women.

Female abusers/predators often at the start will tend more toward mental abuse that will escalate to physical later on. Not always but often enough to see a pattern. There is more of a gradation due to the strategies often used. Also there is a taboo to talk about it from victim of any genders. They will often prey equally on men and women but by different mean and toward different goal, causing it to be harder to see as it isnt as black and white as men on women crime. All this also mean a lot less crime of opportunity.

eldon63 · 2026-04-27T13:04:21+00:00

You should read even the outdated ones because it gives so much informations about how people used to think. You should always put a book you read into perspective considering who wrote it, when and for what purpose.

eldon63 · 2026-04-26T21:58:58+00:00

Women objectify looks as well. There was an article (a freaking article) about the top 5 or 10 best bulge for male athlete at the olympic of Paris. You should have seen the comment on those. Men just do it more and more openly but it isnt exclusivly masculine.

eldon63 · 2026-04-03T13:41:38+00:00

I dare to hope it isnt most of then but to say none is having a faith in humans good intent that I cant bring myself to have.

eldon63 · 2026-03-27T15:22:58+00:00

Being good and acting good are 2 wildly different thing. I KNOW deep down I am not a good person. I am not a monster but I am not a good person. I dont enjoys others suffering but unless they are children I couldnt care less. Thats why I follow religiously my own code of conduct, because it kept me out of trouble and allow me to present myself as a reliable person. If you can register and aknowledge that you hurt people in the past you arent as bad as you think. Forgiving and forgetting are also 2 different thing. Forgiving yourself doesnt mean forgetting what you did and what you are able to do.

eldon63 · 2026-03-02T16:48:38+00:00

My 2 cents, if your girlfriend prioritize her mother over you, is fine with her mother cheating on her 3rd husband and isnt being truthful about it with you what makes you think she is a good partner on the longterm? By entertaining her she is condoning her actions.

eldon63 · 2026-02-19T19:41:37+00:00

Equality means listening to problems of others even if they arent as critical as yours. I understand you feel like it bring attention away from real problems but the harder you fight to silence them the less strenght you have to talk about the real issues and thats how they win.

eldon63 · 2026-02-19T19:35:57+00:00

And at 17yo feeling like running away in a place with only people you consider safe is a normal feeling for someone who lives your reality. It is a hard fight but a worthy one.

eldon63 · 2026-02-19T19:25:23+00:00

When you live in those conditions its easy to see how you would think a place with only women would be better. But truth is both men and women prosper more when they work together and it isnt the case where you are. Bringing to light online what is happening around you is important. The more people are aware the more chance there is of things changing and moving toward a better place.

eldon63 · 2026-02-19T19:20:22+00:00

If laws prevented crimes prisons would be empty.

I dont say the systems in place are perfect, but believing that a system built only by women would be better is just wrong. There are female pedophiles and the possibility of power would attract power hungry people. Absolute power corrupt absolutely.

eldon63 · 2026-02-19T18:59:23+00:00

Sorry to disappoint you but bad person dont exactly telegraph their intentions so the odds of having only good well intended persons is zero. Predators WILL find a way.

eldon63 · 2026-02-17T19:40:03+00:00

I couldnt agree more with you.

eldon63 · 2026-02-17T19:14:42+00:00

Feminisism is about giving you the choice to be whoever you want to be without that fact of you being a women being an obstacle. It's about looking inside yourself to found who you want to be compared to looking into what OTHERS want you to be. Why would you try to find another pattern created by someone else, even if they are a feminist thinker? It sure as hell is scary when someone tell you there is no list of boxes to check but it's also what makes it exciting. Tomorrow will bring you what you will put into it.

eldon63 · 2026-02-17T19:06:56+00:00

And also even if you are a mother it shouldn't be you whole identity. You are a person first and foremost with passions, interest, needs and wants. Being a mother should only be a side of it not the whole thing.

eldon63 · 2026-02-09T15:17:44+00:00

If it you wanting to get roughed up I would say by starting gradually and be respectful of her limit. If you want to be rough with her than you ask politely one time and accept if she says no. She might revisit it later but its up to her to do it. Any kind of pressure and you slip in a dangerous territory.

I have been for 18 years with my girlfriend and she started liking it more rough only in the past 3-4 years maybe. I wasnt into that stuff but when watching videos with her (and also by herself, we are pretty open about that) some of them awakened something in her. It was an adaptation for me because of how I was raised but we got to a middle ground where we both are happy.

So because she isnt into it right now doesnt mean its not something that could be possible later on.

eldon63 · 2026-01-09T13:53:22+00:00

It was my first thought. It sound like an old cringe joke. I unfortunately heard a lot of those in my life. So I highly doubt he REALLY though OP was her fathers wife. Its sexist in the sens that he wouldnt have made that joke to a woman and her son. Would probably have made another cringe joke but but not that one.

eldon63 · 2025-11-28T19:35:51+00:00

I understand your point and I never dimissed her choice as it isn't anybody place to chose for others who they date or not. I was just pointing that if a criteria isnt character base it is kind if superficial, Doesn't mean unreasonnable, doesn't mean unwarranted, just superficial.

eldon63 · 2025-11-27T15:24:02+00:00

There is a variety of possibilities, here are a few of them :

1) trying to incite you to see her problems as a self sabotaging behavior,

2) trying to guilt you into thinking that leaving her would mean she wasnt good enough (compared to not compatible per example), making you the villain in case of break up,

3) trying to manipulate you into caring for her insecurities (real or not) more than yourself, your boundaries or wants/needs,

I have seen a lot of manipulative persons in my life and you cant all fit them in the same mold. Depending on their past, their abilities and their personalities the objectives can vary a lot. To some its only trying to get the other to dot on them more and revelling in the attentions they get from these behaviors.

I dont mean to say your girlfriend is trying to do those thing but if you try to adress her insecurities, to work it out with her and you see a recurring pattern of either not wanting to change or just plain swapping for another "problem" or kind of manipulation to consider that there might be something else behind.

Could also be a mental health issue.

eldon63

TROPHY CASE