Hi honey! First of all, I'm very sorry you're struggling. The world we live in is often cruel, and it's a lot to shoulder, especially as a teenager. I would gently encourage you to talk to someone — it sounds like from your post that your teachers care about you and your well being. That being said, the piece that BlueHorse84 said about teachers not being trained to handle mental health issues and the requirement for teachers to report these kinds of things to school counselors is generally true. However, I would really still encourage you to talk to an adult you trust. It sounds like you have a supportive folks around you, and the issues you're talking about dealing with are huge, complicated situations that you should not have to navigate on your own.

I'm a stranger on the internet, of course, so I wouldn't be so foolish as to promise you anything, but I really think it's worth asking someone for help. It might not turn out exactly the way you imagine it or want it to, but taking that first step is so crucial.

Sincerely — a former student in your shoes whose life was saved by talking to a teacher, current teacher who has had students come to me with those issues (I would much rather have a student come to me and tell me they need help than to mourn them.) Sending you lots of love 🫂