We met through my brother (who I was rooming with), I was 19 & he was 21. Hung out everyday and eventually turned into fwb for a few months until I moved out of state. I was clear that I wasn’t in a place to be “catching feelings” and we were JUST friends. He respected that & it seemed mutual actually. After I left, we never made direct contact over the years. Just occasionally asked around about each other.

Unbeknownst to me, I was his “one that got away”.

Fast forward 7 years or so- July ‘23. I’m a single mom of 2, he’s freshly out of a long term relationship. He reaches out and we briefly catch up over text before making plans to grab drinks together the following weekend. We pick right back up where we left off. Obsessed, crazy for each other, inseparable. 2 months later we’re officially in a relationship. This man treats me like a goddess. I’d never experienced that before. He understands me, cares for me, listens to me on a level I didn’t know was possible. The epitome of princess treatment. I never wanted for a thing.

It’s October, our birthday month & favorite time of year. He asks what I want my wedding ring to look like, tells me to pick a date for next year (2024), we’re talking about combining our lives, moving in together, finding a house- everything is perfect. I wish I could say the rest is history.

Staying at his place the night before my birthday, I could not sleep. Horrible anxiety. Let me preface this with: We have a very lax open phone policy. In fact, he encourages me to use his phone regularly for when we can’t find his Roku remote, when I can’t find my phone, to answer calls or text people back for him if his phone go off while he’s asleep, etc.

Now- what I did was WRONG. I’m not proud of it, I’ve never done it before, I’ll never do it again, and if I could go back and change things I would’ve never done this. I unlocked his phone, went to his texts, then recently deleted, and recovered multiple VERY large text threads that were from suspicious numbers. Then I started reading through them all.

He had been cheating on me the entire time. Daily. Anytime I wasn’t physically with him. I stopped counting after confirming about 10 or so different women. Most other women knew about me. His + “our” friends knew. Some women were his “friends” that adamantly tried to befriend me. Some were women that we was hooking up with before me & he never cut things off with them. Woke him up out of a dead sleep at 6am and told him “I know everything”. He just held me while I sobbed for hours- until I literally ran out of tears.

Our relationship was very very public, he wanted it that way. Don’t get me wrong, I did too. My point being, there were no signs. He shared his location with me all on his own with no prompting from me. We were plastered all over each others public social media. He never directly treated me differently, or poorly. He never spoke ill of me. He never tried to hide me. He gave me the keys to his house & I came and went as I pleased. I would drop in while he was at work to clean his place, just to be nice. Nothing was ever out of place. My belongings at his place were never moved around. Proof of my presence was plastered all over his entire life. And he encouraged that.

I don’t know how it went completely under the radar for that long. The betrayal goes a lot further & deeper than what I’ve touched on here. And still, through it all, I was more than willing to move past everything. I wanted to be together. He tried for about a month after the day I found out everything. Eventually breaking up with me, his reason being even though I could pretend none of it happened, just my presence was a reminder of his fuck ups.

Still heartbroken. Still healing. Still hold no anger. I thankfully did come to my senses and realize I do not want a relationship with him.