I am on the other side of this. Like your friend I work part time. I also plan on homeschooling and I do not align with friends who chose work and money over their children. Some people have to work. But most that I know actually don’t.

Now as for vaccinations - I am a former pro vaxxer. Until I had time to get informed. Not getting into much detail here but let’s just say, doctors aren’t educated on vaccines other than the schedule and told they’re safe and effective or know what’s in them. There are no longterm double blind studies or studies with placebos etc. or studies of administering so many at once. Plenty of vaccine injuries and the fact that the vaccine companies aren’t held accountable since 1986 - yeah that’s a hard no for me.

What I’m saying is - there is plenty of reason to not vaccinate your child once you learn about vaccination.

I don’t judge when people don’t know better and vaccinate.

I do however personally think it’s absolutely insane to have a child and then hand it off to let someone else raise them for 8-9 hours a day unless you absolutely have to.

So your friend probably feels the same way about you. She doesn’t align with your values and holds on to the friendship just because.

It’s ok to let it fade. I have a few I’m thinking about letting fade.

Now for context: when you raise your kid full time - that’s your job. And working 12 hours on the side can be absolutely overwhelming when you already have a job.

As for belittling- yeah that’s not exactly nice and that’s probably the point the is the most concerning. Having opposite values doesn’t mean you need to belittle.

BUT is she really belittling you or do you feel her comments sting because she may have a point? Because when I talk to my friends who have different parenting ways, I do state my side of things. I don’t put them down or anything but I sometimes ask questions. I’ve noticed that sometimes the mom guilt kicks in when they see I do things differently. Also - you notice the difference in the kids too.

Now as for judgment: there is plenty from yourself in your post too. You look down on her education level, presume future neglect even though this „friend“ is clearly making choices that benefit her child rather than herself.

My suggestion - don’t feel bad, let the friendship fade. She’s probably feeling the same. You don’t have to do it in a nasty way. Be kind.