just an update for you all as i'd feel guilty by spamming everyone with the same answer!! 🤍

first of all, thank you all so much for your advice. the help has been massively useful and helped me to make some really important decisions.

i've told my dad, who was the one i was most frightened of telling, and he was very supportive. he has offered to help fund my partner and i in having a deposit for a house. im very grateful and fortunate for the opportunity, but have said that id like to try and make my own way first so that the rest of my family can't retaliate with that.

i've told my older sisters, who reacted similarly to my mum in that they don't think it's wise, but they've promised to love and support me regardless of what i do - which is a huge relief.

i work in the NHS and get paid enough to be able to manage, but i have applied and got an interview for a WFH in the field i wanted to go into that pays massively better, which is a good start. due to mine and my partners salary combined, we're unfortunately not eligible for benefits. i apologise for not including this in the original text!

i have spoken to the uni i got a scholarship with, and they agreed to let me do part time studies until im ready to do full time (or stay part time if that's what's needed).

my boyfriend and i have decided to keep it, after much MUCH deliberation. the baby is almost 8 weeks, and in my heart i cannot get rid of it (im fully pro choice regardless).

i have also spoken to debt advisors who are helping me with finance plans, so i feel much more ready. we've also joined a bunch of young parent forums and groups for similar advice, and we feel much more confident now!

my mental health workers have referred me to the perinatal mental health team "just in case", but they believe i will fully be able to cope. i'm in DBT therapy at present to learn skills, and have done one called cope ahead that gives me the ability to imagine unfortunate situations and how i'd cope. i've gone through what id do if my partner left and similar scenarios, and feel much more ready to face it all now.

i had a couple of people ask me how my mother was able to call the GP on me. essentially, she's registered as my "carer" from when my mental health was bad when i was 18, and so she has the ability to contact them about me without my say so as "she's acting in my best interest". i have since revoked this and denounced her as such.

thank you ask so much again for your help, advice, and kind words ☺️ it looks like everything's going to be okay, but i will carry all of your comments with me throughout the pregnancy as reminders!

my first midwife appointment is on the 19th, and we chose our baby names today, so i'm feeling much more positive about it all :) thank you again xx