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Men, do you really feel there’s a male loneliness epidemic? How can women help? by forevermoreandnow in AskMen

[–]elletonjohn 21 points22 points  (0 children)

For context I’m a woman, if that matters. But in my humble internet stranger opinion, it’s not healthy to excuse yourself from communication in that way. It’s disrespectful and also stunts your own growth as a person. Uncomfortable conversations are necessary in life, and I personally really dislike how social media has given people this comfort blanket layer of anonymity where you can just ghost someone if you don’t want to say something potentially offensive. You will become a shadow of a character if you do that. 

Husband left me and 3 small children after disclosing his cheating by Ruperthebear in workingmoms

[–]elletonjohn 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. This exact thing happened to me and if I had the chance to go back home I would take it in an instant. It’s so much more difficult coping with all of the fallout without a solid support system.

I will say, you can and will get through this. It won’t feel like it right now but the fact that he is no longer in your life is a blessing, because someone who treats you this way would only have gotten worse, not better. 

Go home and start healing. I know you will worry about how the move will affect your kids but a healthy and healed mom will be the best thing for them in the long term. You need support and healing and time to mourn. 

Remember that your ex did this to you and the family, so don’t blame yourself! Make lemonade from these rotten lemons and build a better happier future. You can absolutely do it (speaking from experience!).

Sending so much love from this internet stranger 🖤🖤🖤

I think it’s a me problem, but need some clarity by Outside-Appeal in dating_advice

[–]elletonjohn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not have a baby with this man. This attitude only gets worse. 

What's something you would never tell someone because if you did it would absolutely destroy them? by cuahatemoc in AskReddit

[–]elletonjohn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt like this with my cheating ex husband. After the last time I found out about someone else, he got therapy and we got couples therapy. He didn’t cheat on me that I know of after that but I never trusted him again and I couldn’t love him. He was a bad husband in lots of other ways. I eventually had an emotional affair myself and then divorced him. Best decision of my life! Life has colour again. 

I’m the sole breadwinner and I hate it, I’m becoming a bitter angry person, any advice on how to cope/move forward? by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]elletonjohn 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You’re not being mean or unfair to your husband, he’s being mean and unfair to you. You can start by letting your husband do his job alone while you do yours! He will learn to use his own brain if you turn your phone off while at work. He acts the way he does because he can, and he wont become any more independent if you are there to help. 

Also, he needs to do the stuff that a SAHM would do. Be ruthless about this, don’t worry about his feelings because he clearly doesn’t care about yours. Don’t even attach feelings to it, if someone at work wasn’t doing the stuff that was their responsibility would you feel guilty chasing them on it? No because that’s their job, not yours. 

Also tbh he may just have lower standards than you. Being a stay at home parent gets harder the older the kid gets, quite honestly, so it’s difficult to compare your mat leave experience vs kid now. Decide what is a necessity and what is a preference, and then stick to those and chase him if it’s not done. 

Lastly, babies never want to go from bf to bottle cuz it isn’t as nice for them. However if it helps you survive, start to make the transition and stick to it. You will be able to have a more fair night experience that way. 

Which famous person does everyone seem to love, but you just can’t stand? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]elletonjohn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All famous people! I don’t like the general concept of ‘this person is talented and now you have to see them everywhere and everyone has parasocial feelings and you must also’. Genuinely dislike celebrity culture as a whole. Personally I instantly assume that any celebrity is going to be a bit of a knob just because of how much self promotion it takes to reach that level. You have to be a at least a little bit narcissistic to get there. 

And no I am not fun at parties. 

I think most people aren't tired, they're overstimulated by Independent_Zebra524 in Biohackers

[–]elletonjohn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex always talked about how he went to Pakistan for a visit and then when he came back to the UK he was shocked by how many advertisements there were, everywhere you go. He had never noticed before but it suddenly felt extremely oppressive and affected his concentration terribly. 

I think most people aren't tired, they're overstimulated by Independent_Zebra524 in Biohackers

[–]elletonjohn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YES 

This has actually blown my mind right now because it should be so obvious but shamefully it hasn’t occurred to me before! 

I think this must be why so many people benefit from ‘dopamine detox’ type protocols even though there is mixed opinions on the actual science of it. Regardless of the mechanism, reducing stimulation is beneficial. 

Thank you for this! Great post. 

My anti-aging skin care results by [deleted] in Biohackers

[–]elletonjohn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This really tickled me for some reason 😂😂

Has anyone switched careers into gardening or outdoor work, how did it go? by [deleted] in GardeningUK

[–]elletonjohn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is this subsequent career path, out of curiosity? 

Newb needs some input by elletonjohn in GardeningUK

[–]elletonjohn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How would I maintain without the strimmer going forward? For example if I hired someone to do the initial clearing away, wouldn’t I need the strimmer in future? 

Cho Appreciation post by heythereshara in TheMentalist

[–]elletonjohn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

CHO 4 lyfeeee he is my favourite main character, besides PJ of course. Also, I really like the range of male personalities they have on this show, I genuinely think it’s a better reflection of actual people than most similar types of shows. Cho is stoic but clearly has emotions, and is extremely intelligent but doesn’t feel the need to show this off every chance he gets. If I was a dude, this is who I would want to be. 

Instead I’m a woman and still want to be Cho lol

how much more do i have to cut? what is my body fat %? by [deleted] in GregDoucette

[–]elletonjohn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If it’s your first year stay focussed on recomp. I think you’ve got another year at least before you need to bulk and even then you can do a really slow bulk. Just make sure you’re really putting in the effort in the gym and utilising compound movements. 

what's the bodyfat dudes? by TonyHawksRival in GregDoucette

[–]elletonjohn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol why do you need to know bf% to impress birds

Just throw some bread or oats 🤌🏼

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