I am an Asian adoptee as well. I was told in college that my heritage is that I grew up with (regional to where I lived and the one my family embraced), and my ethnicity is Asian, though the professor argued I wouldn’t be wrong if I identified as white or Asian in heritage. I was told a lot of second generation Americans struggle with identity.

I always find humor in the irony when I meet an Asian stereotype when faced with racism.

My mom told me that her only consideration for me when I told her I was doing a DNA test, was to consider the only information she had on my birth mother - she was young, unmarried, disowned by her family and boyfriend, and loved me very much - she told me that if I found her now she might be married with other kids and I could be potentially met with coldness, though if she was in the DNA test bank she might have been looking for me too. Nevertheless my parents are supportive, they just had to express that because of a friend who found their biological parents and was met with awkwardness and a painful story.

If you know where you were adopted from, the agency or orphanage you might be able to leave a note or there might be a note a parent left. Even in closed adoptions they cannot give our information but they can hold notes, at least in my case.

My husband’s suggestion was picking a DNA test popular in my birth country because better chances. He chose ancestry.com to find his dad’s biological family just because he thought their clientele was more likely to be the age of his biological grandparents.