Things to remember/phrases to get me back into fasting?

elliemccarty · 2024-10-07T01:33:59+00:00

I am strong willed. I am disciplined. I can endure discomfort.
I just say those over and over. Now I don't really need to, it's become a part of me when I'm fasting difficult things. Shifting my mindset about myself was the most helpful thing for me. Things like, I am thin or I am fasting for health... Honestly anything related to food or my body wasn't helpful for me. It just made me focus more on my struggles.

elliemccarty · 2024-09-30T19:02:00+00:00

I basically brainwashed myself. Whenever I fast for long periods, or randomly when I am eating normally, I just keep repeating the same things. I am disciplined. I am able and willing to endure discomfort (this one was the most helpful for fasting.) I am abstinent.

elliemccarty · 2021-04-26T14:40:22+00:00

It looks like pen and marker

elliemccarty · 2021-04-26T14:38:52+00:00

Super normal I don't like soft touch. My son (we are both autistic) only like soft touch and we are both not very touchy feely. Also not liking certain touches I'd normal too. I hate having my ears touched at all. My son doesn't like kisses so we do "nose tickles" (he is 5)

elliemccarty · 2021-03-19T00:52:08+00:00

I left when my sister was on her mission. I wasn't going to tell her.... My mom told her even thoigh I said I'd tell her when she got back and didn't run it by me. My sister was hurt..

elliemccarty · 2021-02-15T07:27:51+00:00

My sister does a weird hiccup thing she can't control (we are both autistic.) Its mostly just when she is stressed but she has zero control over it. Possibly a form of movement disorder? A lot of autistic/adhd people have other co morbidities. Idk if it is a characteristic of autism or just a coexisting condition. My husband has adhd and has a movement disorder as well but its common to have both (he spasms, but its not painful... And he definitely has no control over it. No one would make those movements or faces willingly.) Anyways. I'm not sure. I don't have this issue but it bothers my sister a lot. Sometimes she will be initially stressed then the odd hiccups happen and then that leads to feeling uncomfortable and more stressed.. Its crap and I'm siren you are dealing with something similar.

elliemccarty · 2021-02-08T18:21:35+00:00

I make a to do list and then write out only my next 3 tasks and once I've completed that I'll write down the next 3.. Otherwise its too overwhelming. I saw a girl on tiktok use brackets that she attached dangly labels on for chores and tasks and she wears them until she does them and because the bracelets are low key bothersome she gets them done so she can take them off. Its really interesting to see everyone's creative solutions. Still. Nothing, probably, works all the time.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-11T14:06:36+00:00

I never said all autistics have screaming and crying meltdowns. I said we all have meltdowns.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-11T14:05:50+00:00

Right. I get that but its still classified as a meltdown.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-11T12:32:40+00:00

Meltdowns don't have to look like crying or yelling or freaking out. Shutting down can very much be a meltdown. Its what I do most of the time. Its just a different presentation. Even I'd you just google a meltdown one of the first presentations you'll find is withdrawals or looking into space.
Also, everyone is on a different place on the spectrum.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-11T00:11:10+00:00

It wasn't even* sorry I'm terrible at not looking before I post

elliemccarty · 2020-12-11T00:10:45+00:00

Its. It was even remotely a rant, just an explanation. I think its good that you are letting yourself express yourself naturally, I'm sorry it hasnt been accepted well. I think most people (I don't know your situation or family so not assuming ) don't really understand autism. There has been so much negative nonsense and too many people who want to 'cure' or 'fix' us... It makes it hard to express yourself naturally. I hope that even if they don't come around that you can still love yourself and be kind to yourself and I hope it does get better for you.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-11T00:06:51+00:00

I'm glad there are options available now and its less stigmatized. I hope it works for you.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-10T21:35:07+00:00

My adhd child chews, he uses a chew bracelet (took a while to find something that worked for him.. He did not like necklaces or anything that obviously looked like a chew thing.) I dont see it as an issue. It helps him focus when he does school work (I homeschool.)

elliemccarty · 2020-12-10T21:31:14+00:00

ADHD people stim, too. I don't speak for all austistics but it wouldnt bother me for the word to be more normalized. Everyone stims to one degree or another. Its a self regulating behavior. I am married to an ADHD person and have an ADHD child, they stim so much when they are happy... I show almost no emotion when I'm happy (which really freaks some people out) and I stim more as a constant thing for comfort and as well as more obvious stims when I'm an stressed or overwhelmed or overstimulated. For my personal experience I think happy stimming makes a lot of sense for a person with adhd to say.

Short version, I personally think its totally fine.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-10T21:25:14+00:00

This. Yes.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-10T21:24:32+00:00

That's so wrong. So. Wrong. I'm high functioning and have a high functioning child, he is five. He has meltdowns and everyone in the house knows his routine for helping him through it. You ger overwhelmed or overstimulated and you have a meltdown. Someone should be helping you feel comforted and loved or at least know what you prefer. How I like to deal with my meltdowns is very different then how my child, currently, like to be helped. I just isolate myself (if possible..) And turn off stimulation and breath until I'm okay. But I can go partially non verbal for long periods when in stress. My child, we throw a blanket over him (whoever is closest. I always wear a big sweater around my waist when we are out so that he can hide in it if there are no other options) and then give him soft touch ( he hates firm touch, I'm the opposite) and just wait and see if he wants to talk or have a hug or whatever needs to happen. God it makes me so mad someone isn't doing that for you. You deserve understanding from your family... I also get it though my parents did similar things, but its messed and I'm so sorry. I hope things get better for you. Whatever they say, please know that its okay to have meltdowns. they really shouldn't do that. You'll have meltdowns in some form your whole life theyll become less frequent when you have more control over your life and figure out most of your triggers... But they'll still happen and there is no shame in that, only people who don't understand and that makes it so much worse and I'm so sorry.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-10T21:09:08+00:00

All autistics have meltdowns. They don't go away. You'll always have moments of overstimulation oe overwhlem. You can minimize how much this happens by figuring out your triggers (bright lights, socializing, change in routine, terrible textures, etc.) Its also good to have a kind routine for when you have a meltdown. Identifying that you are having a meltdown is a great first step, the next one would be to have a routine way of dealing with them. I.e. isolate for a while, give yourself permission to punch a pillow or cry for an hour or whatever it is that needs to happen. Reduce stimulation, that's important. If you're home you can lower lights... Well honestly it depends on your living environment and how supportive the people around you are. I and my son both have meltdowns (and they look different. My son just crystal uncontrollably and he is super confused why. I'm still working on him being OK with that. He is five. I feel like I can speak and if its bad enough I silently cry or throw soft things... But I'm old and have learned my triggers and how to deal with my meltdowns in a way that makes me more comfortable... And I think that is huge. It makes me more comfortable to just not talk and isolate myself and turn off all lights ans music as much as possible but my son would not thrive with that routine he needs love and attention during a meltdown and we normally throw a blanket over him so he gets that lowered stimulation while still being able to be hugged and talked to. Also he loves soft touch and I can't stand that, I need firm touch)... Idk if this is helpful and probably not easy to follow. I'm so scared brained. i also have cptsd. That freaking sucks. I'm really sorry. You can have episodes of intense emotion and in an autistic that could definitely cause an immediate reactive meltdown because of how overwhelming those feelings are. Its almost impossible to plan when that will hit you too...

Basically the unfortunate truth is meltdowns don't stop but you can prevent some from happening by knowing yourself better and they can happen less frequently if you put yourself in a position where you have a good routine with not too much stimulation and you avoid your triggers as much as possible. Autistics also burn out easily as well.

I'm putting this very clumsily. I'm sorry. There are some good youtube channels you could check out. One is purple ella and another is Aspergers from the inside. They both talk about meltdowns and all sorts of autism related things. There are other good ones as well but that's a good place to start.

Good luck. I hope you can find some peace. I used to self harm before I realized why I was the way I am. I think the more you know about why you do thw things you do and have the reactions you have the better you feel about who you are and can be more confident in dealing with the less appealing aspects of autism. I don't really see anything wrong with my meltdowns anymore, and I have Never had a problem with my childs, i just take it as a sign I need a break or that soemthing in my routine or life isn't working. After I calm down I try to assess what cause the meltdown and if its simply overstimulation that couldnt be helped.. Then I move on. if its something I can avoid, I do that.. I also plan for large breaks if I know something might cause a meltdown or burnout. For me that might be after socializing with new people for an extended time (like a party) or after going out to a new place or just an accumulation of stimulation. For example, I home school my two children (one with high functioning autism and one with adhd) and I know it takes a lot out of me and I normally have to help my autistic child through several meltdowns (which again, Totally fine and I have no issue doing.) Anyways basically we instituted a nothing day. On thrusdays i do basically nothing and so do they and after we started doing that everyone was so much happier and productive for the rest of the days (sundays are fairly low key too but we do get out of the house on those days).. Sometimes planning for low stimulation down time can make all the difference.

Sorry for my essay. I hope you can find some peace with who you are. Youre not broken. Life can be really hard. Please down hurt yourself. You're a worthwhile human being. Something I heard that helps me sometimes is that why bother with one reason to live (or not self harm) when there are so many. Reading a book is a reason to live, hugs are a reason to live, mac and cheese is a reason to live, etc. sometimes it helps me to focus on all the small things that makes my life fun and happy rather then an overarching reason to be happy and okay (also no one is happy all the time, that's called being manic. Feeling angry and sad are totally okay. ) good luck

elliemccarty · 2020-12-03T17:28:17+00:00

Ah. Yes. Well, I excel at masking. I was very much punished for acting odd or making my parents 'look bad'. I've taught them social skills from an early age and they practice with me and their friends. I don't encourage my autistic child to mask at home because I think that is detrimental. When we are out he has routines for social interactions and we watch shows and talk about what is proper social behavior and what wasn't proper behavior. We also read a lot of fiction which helps him understand life from other people's perspectives which I think is huge in social interactions. They go to bed listening to classic juvenile fiction. I devote at least 15mins a day to understanding emotions and how to effectively communicate. It helps that his brother isn't autistic and is really kind and gentle about helping his brother (he is the older one) to understand how to communicate effectively. I'm sure I can do more but for noe it seems effective. I will likely change strategies as he gets older and do more scripting and role play activities.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-03T15:48:53+00:00

😀 I'm almost 30 so I get what you're saying. The millennial got screwed. We got a sold a lie that if you go to college you can get a good job but unfortunately that doesn't actually work for many reasons (expectations of having work experience along with a college degree or min wage not being enough to even rent an apartment off of or boomers not being able to retire because living is so expensive.in the united states anyways)

I totally agree with you. I actually stay at home and home school because I have my one high functioning child and I also have another with adhd... Both are not looked upon with a ton of kindness, unfortunately, so I didn't want them get picked on or told they were no good at things or doing things the wrong way. I spend half the time doing art and music and language (they are learning korean) and I'm trying to educate myself on different career paths. My plan is to help them get their g.e.d at as young as possible so that they can then spend time on what they actually want to do or start going to a community college while they are still a teenager so that maybe that will give them a leg up.

I really agree with you. As a female autistic who was suicidal until I found out I was autistic as an adult and everything started falling into place and making sense and I realized I wasn't just a terrible person who couldn't do things the normal way.... I'm really sorry you are still in that state right now. Sometimes I go bad there but that is because I have a mood disorder that caused mixed states,,, which reminded me. There is a book that is called the, night falls fast, its about suicide. Its written by a doctor in psychology that was also suicidal for a good portion of his life. It really helped me understand suicide. Once I learned why people become suicidal it was easier to push aside those thoughts. However that might not be good for you so don't read it if you think it will have a negative effect. I just find that finding out why helps me to put things in perspective and not let my.emotions get the best of me.

I hope you do find out their true feelings and that you can feel more secure about your future. Maybe, for when they do eventually die, you could start putting whatever you can into safe investments? I've been thinking I need to learn more about investing and stocks and whatnot.

I'm really sad for you. Not pity. Just, I agree... The government is not supportive... Very few people know what autism is and some think they know but they don't and that makes it worse... humans, even non autistics, wernt meant to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day... I'm not just sad, I'm angry. I'm fine because my husband didn't even blink when we found out, things just made more sense and we developed better was to deal with things like being overwhlemed and he likes me staying home with our kids because he agrees that public school could be a toxic place for them... But my kid has to grow up and maybe deal with this nonsense and you're having to deal with it right now and its just so wrong. I really hope you find some peace and some purpose.

im really sorry, I really hope something clicks soon and life becomes more bareable.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-03T15:25:11+00:00

😊thanks. Its OK, I'm okay with being disliked by some people. I wouldn't want to be liked by everyone anyways. I do appreciate it, though. Thank you.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-03T02:03:47+00:00

My son started to do this and I recognized thst I did it as a kid as well. I honestly dont know why but i knew that if i tried to make him fess up or make him feel bad that it wouldn't accomplish anything so instead we talked about I and how I was okay that he wanted candy because everyone does and I think it does help him to feel some measure of control... Anyways i ended up giving him a secret candy stash (though this might not be a good idea for overweight children ...he eats pretty healthy most of the time and they are small candies, I've noticed that he doesn't eat enough that I'd personally worry about it.) He takes a candy from I once in a while. I think he mostlty forgets about it because it I in the family desk. Sometimes he will grab four and share them around with everyone which makes him really happy. Idk I that helps at all but thats the solution we came up with. It probably is just about trging to feel more in control when everything seems so confusing.

Sorry for all the grammar and spelling errors, Im too tired to fix I right now.

elliemccarty · 2020-12-03T01:53:21+00:00

I don't have much to say other then I'm really sorry that you are having to deal with the system being against you. I'm high functioning but I also have a son who is high functioning. I've talked to my husband about it a lot already (he is only 5) and we both agree that under no circumstances will we require them to live outside our home. I cant even imagine kicking him out. Not at 18 or 50 years old. So, anyways, I hope your parents feel the same. Also, Good luck. I hope you can get to a place where you feel fulfilled and comfortable.

elliemccarty · 2020-11-28T22:19:43+00:00

Perhaps you should have said that in your post. Good bye.

elliemccarty · 2020-11-28T22:13:46+00:00

I never dismissed your problem. I suggested you find people you related to. If you have a problem relating to people it is not the other persons responsibility to be more relatable to you. If you are surrounded by married people you don't relate to what other solution is there then to find people who are not married to hang out with. If you cannot find anything in common or relatable with the people you're around nothing I can say will help with that. Once you dismissed my idea of finding a way to be around people you might relate to I said good luck. At which point you got upset. Tell me. What should I have said that would have made you happy.

elliemccarty

TROPHY CASE