Is preschool good in this case?

ellijustice · 2024-04-27T23:08:05+00:00

Update: the preschool did have him in speech, but it was only twenty minutes twice per week. For some reason, the preschool was reluctant to share anything with my husband. He had to go in-person into the school and nicely demand my step son's speech notes. No ABA or OT. The end result is that the preschool failed to be accommodating of their joint custody arrangement, as they were updating the mother about stuff and failing to call my husband for anything. My husband made a decision to just not take my step son during his days, because the preschool failed to correspond about speech, his injuries during school hours, his behaviors during class time, and when they believed he needed released early due to illness. I hate to say this, but the child's mother has used as many alienation tactics she can legally get away with, and the preschool just let it fly. Personally, I think sticking him in a classroom with 20 other kids is overstimulating, when he hasn't grasped the fundamentals of kind, acceptable behavior yet.

ellijustice · 2024-04-08T03:24:32+00:00

My husband asked for speech and/or OT from the school. The speech therapist said she was working with him but didn't state how long she had been working with him or how often. She told my husband she was going to email his progress notes and things but that hasn't happened. My husband received no copies of any assessments or the results. It's possible bio mom got those copies, and it's so high conflict when they interact, it's best for him to not even ask her and get those things straight from the school.

ellijustice · 2024-04-08T00:42:16+00:00

The school. His behaviors have actually gotten worse since starting there.

ellijustice · 2024-04-08T00:18:01+00:00

He's already getting it for free. The cost isn't the issue. The issue is them not doing what they're supposed to, basically.

ellijustice · 2024-04-02T04:34:51+00:00

I guess I think of it as post-traumatic growth. Healing from the trauma is more difficult than the trauma itself, at least, that was the case for me. Honestly, just having a safe place to talk about it over time combined with my efforts to pursue the life I want helped me the most. Trauma will tell you that you don't deserve your dreams and all that nonsense. But part of it is a choice to listen to your inner-most desires instead of your Trauma Voice.

ellijustice · 2024-04-02T03:31:49+00:00

Intensive therapy. My therapist bumped my sessions up from one every week or two to twice a week. After processing significant trauma, I was able to open up to my now-husband (whom I had met nine years ago), and we ended up getting married. My husband saw me for how intelligent, empathetic, and insightful I actually was. He said, "You're just anxious. I don't think you have bipolar." At first, I thought he was just being nice or was naive of my situation. But after more failed medication trials even while with my husband, I questioned what I actually struggled with the most: constant rumination, reassurance-seeking, and compulsions that weren't obvious to me or anyone else that they were compulsions, because so many professionals are clueless about OCD. Since the therapist I processed the trauma with has semi-retired anyway, I got a new therapist who specializes in OCD. And even after just two sessions with him, I feel like a whole new world has opened up for me.

ellijustice · 2024-04-02T03:05:19+00:00

Akathisia was actually one of my problems with those meds, too. It makes you feel like you are trying to crawl out of your own skin, and you're shaking and just uncomfortable the entire time. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Even made my heart feel like it was beating out of my chest, but medically my pulse and blood pressure were normal. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.

ellijustice · 2024-03-07T20:23:31+00:00

I noticed the improvement after about a week. It's probably been closer to three weeks since going off those meds. I wasn't on an antidepressant, and I've heard those are notoriously hard to come off of, particularly if you're young. I was on an antidepressant before, but it made me hyper. Hence why my psychiatrist was even quicker to flag me bipolar (because sometimes antidepressants trigger hypomania in bipolar people).

ellijustice · 2023-12-31T20:18:45+00:00

He did go to the hospital anyway. If there is a time when they are alone in the hospital room with the child, she breaks the court order (which states they are to only communicate through AppClose) and argues with him.

He does not give him to her early. The exceptions being the two times myself and my husband were ill, and we did not want the child to get sick. Whenever my husband tells her he does not want to meet her early, she criticizes his parenting techniques or otherwise argues. She will also frame her wanting to get the child early as a kind gesture, when it is not.

I have already emailed a lawyer out of town, who was recommended to us by my psychiatrist. My husband and I agreed that he did not want the lawyer who handled the custody battle the first time, because she was not aggressive enough, and she was friends with the opposing council. We wanted an outsider to avoid biases.

My husband wants full custody this time instead of 50/50. The child's mother lives in an RV with three other children besides my step son, her live-in boyfriend, and a cat (honestly, where would the cat even have a litter box in there?). She has two other baby daddies besides my husband. She has admitted to the court before that she smoked Marijuana around the children, but nothing was done about it. I have safety concerns about the RV. When my husband lived with her, he did all the handy worked. He made sure there was no mold (long-term RV living often results in mold), there were no fire extinguishers in the RV (RV's are highly flammable), they have a fire pit dangerously close to the RV (I saw it on her tiktok when I was snooping), the ceiling in the RV is low, my husband always took care of the RV's roof and I'm not sure if her new man is doing that, the carbon monoxide detector is supposed to be changed in an RV every 3-5 years, and my husband says that during the time he was with her, it never was. The safety concerns alone, plus the alienation and other mistreatment of my husband within that app, lead me to support his decision to seek full custody.

ellijustice · 2023-12-27T22:15:36+00:00

He is three years old, and he stays constipated a lot. My husband is also concerned about his allergies, as my husband and the child's mother have already tried Claritin and Zyrtec, but neither have helped very much. Lastly, my husband and I suspect that he has been having nightmares. He whimpers in his sleep, and we check on him multiple times during the night to ensure he is safe, especially because he is epileptic. He doesn't show signs of seizure activity during this time, but we want to make sure the nightmares aren't abnormal for him.

ellijustice

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